Why is Pinocchio afraid of Woodchucks?

Because he has a woodpecker

“How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?”

That’s what my friend, who is a renowned woodchuck expert, said when I asked him what most people ask him when they find out that he is a renowned woodchuck expert.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, assuming for purposes of argument that it is within the power of a woodchuck to chuck wood?

You woodn't believe it, but the woodchuck axeually started his own branch. Experts suggest he took the wrong root to success, however, sapping all growth from the market.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Not enough to save his family after the earthquake collapsed his house.

RIP woodchuckers

For Woodchuck Day - What do you call a woodchuck with no hands?

A won't chuck.

(Chuck, like yow, means throw.)

Scientists have given a woodchuck a catapult.

So far the answer is none at all.

What do you call a woodchuck with no teeth?

A won't chuck.

Here we see the majestic Woodchuck, also known as a Groundhog which begs the question

How much ground would a ground hog hog if a ground hog could hog ground?

Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner

After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"

"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other hillbilly scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"

"You know," the other says, gestu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where would a woodchuck fuck a duck, if a woodchuck could fuck ducks?

In the buttquack.

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