UPJOKE
marmotrodentwoodchucksquirrelbobcatcritterfoxmoleskunkmuskratunited statesmooserabbitchipmunkgroundhog day

Why is coronavirus like Groundhog Day? (The actual day, not the film)

If you stick your head outside and encounter another person, you get 6 more weeks of quarantine.

Here we see the majestic Woodchuck, also known as a Groundhog which begs the question

How much ground would a ground hog hog if a ground hog could hog ground?

What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.
AI Image Generator

Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?

I really suck at Guac-a-mole.

Can’t believe the film Groundhog Day came out 30 years ago....

It feels like yesterday.

Does anyone know any good Groundhog Day jokes?

Because I keep hearing the same ones over and over

I now know why Groundhog Day is important.

It's literally an emerge and see.

I was thinking of making a Groundhog Day style movie with Keanu Reeves as a teenager

Working title is john constant teen

It's Groundhog Day!

Celebrate by reposting your favorite joke!

Just like every other day!

I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events

Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.


One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.

Groundhog Day is a classic.

It sure has great replay value.

February 2nd and the groundhog arises from its hole to see a shadow…

the shadow of my front left tire…six more weeks of winter but not for him…

Living beside a groundhog means you get one prediction every morning.

Yesterday I learned that my tomatoes will be ripe in 6 weeks.

Today I learned that my dementia is onset and early.

I just watched groundhog day for the first time but I don't know how I feel about it.

The story felt very repetitive

Groundhogs

Constipation is a bit like watching for groundhogs on Groundhog Day. You know spring is coming early, but that reclusive rodent is nowhere to be seen.

What does it mean when a groundhog sees a maple leaf on feb. 02?

...six more weeks of bad hockey!

what animal takes up the most land?

a groundhog.

The bartender says: "Not you again"

Weatherman Phil Connors walks into the bar.

Happy Groundhog Day everyone!

What do you call a pig with no legs?

Ground Hog! Happy Groundhog's Day!

Confused husband

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long s...

Americans tend to think us Aussies are all dumb...

But atleast we get our weather information from meteorologists and not groundhogs.

Stop trying to predict the next Arab Spring

Just pencil it in six weeks after Arab Groundhog Day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this golfer goes to confession and tells the priest, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest says, "Tell me your transgressions, my son."

"Well," the guy says, "I was on the 5th hole last week and I hate to say it but I cursed."

"What happened, my son?" the priest asks.

"So I teed it up and I hit the ball about 40 yards past the hole..."

"And you swore...

What do you call a male pig with no legs and delusions of being a weather forecaster?

Groundhog

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today needs to be Lobster or steak day...

Because this groundhog tastes like crap!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.