This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy named Sarim works at a bakery in Lahore, Pakistan.

As a gopher, he is obligated to serve the baker. One day the baker says "Sam, go and get me a bag of flour." Sam goes to get the bag and puts it on his head. Unfortunately the bag breaks and covers him from head to toe. Dejected, he walks back to the kitchen. "Oh my goodness Sam! What happened?"
...

What do you call a dead gopher?

Just fur. It doesn't go anymore.

Im hung like a gopher

An inch off the ground

What do you call a part gopher, part duck, and part you?

A Gophuckyourself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sailor and a priest were playing golf.

The sailor too his first shot and it sliced wide right. The sailor said "Ah fuck, I missed."

The priest replied, surprised, "My son, you shouldn't speak that way or God will punish you."

The sailor took aim for his next shot and hooked it badly to the left. "I fucking missed again!...

Moses, Jesus, and an old man are playing golf.

Coming up on a par 3, Moses has Honours, but puts his shot in the lake. He raises his club over his head, and the lake splits, revealing his ball on the sandy bottom. Moses walks between the halves of the lake and chips his second shot up onto the green where it rolls into the hole for a Birdie. Je...

Have you ever wanted to try redneck food?

I'd say just gopher it!

Why don't University of Wisconsin football players ever date University of Minnesota cheerleaders?

Ever seen what a badger does to a gopher hole?

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Three old cowboys...

Frank, Raph, and Jed had just finished their supper by the camp fire and broke out the jug of whiskey. Passing around the jug, they started bragging about their dangerous escapades throughout their lives. Frank says, "I remember one time I was crossing a stream and a 12 foot grizzly bear that was fi...

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My best joke.

Moses, Jesus, and a very old man are starting their day of golf at the first tee off.
Moses steps up to the tee, plants his stance, firms up, and smokes a drive that curves right towards a pond. Moses waives his club in the air, the pond immediately parts, the golf ball bounces in and out of the...

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Some girls at the office start talking about their tattoos...

...John the manager walks by and one of them asks: "Hey John, do you have any tattoos?" John lets out a sigh "I wouldn't be allowed to show it at the office" and walks away.

Fast forward to Friday night and John takes everyone out to the bar for a round of drinks. Everyone is drinking hav...

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

My friend said he wanted to live in a hole

I said gopher it

What did the groundhog's trainer tell him before the Olympics?

Gopher gold.

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