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Bushy Jokes

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The guys were on a bike tour. ...

No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.


The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. ...

Every hotel room was taken.

By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere." he pleaded. "Or just a bed--I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you t...

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A man is walking along the street when he sees a ladder...

...stretching well up into the clouds. Being the adventurous type, Harry begins to climb.

After a short while he stops at a cloud and sees a large, ugly looking woman lying there.

"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she said.

He decided that he was definitely not drunk...

A girl brings her new fiance home to meet her parents for the very first time.

So a girl brings her new fiancee home to meet her parents. Boy looks like a hipster (scarf, big bushy beard, etc.) Understandably, her father would like to know the boy better and so he takes him to his study for a private conversation.

Dad: "So, John. What do you do for a living?"

Fia...

A Swedish Farming Village in 1265...

...is facing a crisis. They haven't had any rain in almost 2 months. All of their crops are dead or dying, and many of the citizens are starving.

One day, Sven comes bursting into his kitchen, scooping his wife Helda into his arms and dancing with joy.

"Sven! What's gotten into you? Wh...

A young man is vacationing in Spain…

… when he happens to wander into a pub populated entirely by tourists, most of whom are in the midst of playing some kind of trivia game.

The young man sits down at a vacant table and listens for a while, slowly realizing that the game is focused entirely on the many hotels, motels, and hoste...

The lion is celebrating a party. All animals are invited, only the hamster is not.

The hamster does not want to miss the party and asks the rabbit: "Hey, rabbit, can´t you smuggle me in behind your big ears to the lion's party?" The rabbit´answers, "Nope, I'm not tired of life, if the lion noticed that, it would be my end."

The hamster then asks the fox: "Listen, fox, can´t...

A samurai’s wife asks him to go down on her

He responded it’s Bushydo

Lesson

A pastor was giving the children's message during church.

For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on indust...

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

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bald.

A bald man went to the Dr to ask for help with his baldness, after months of trying various treatments, nothing had worked, in desperation, the Dr suggested that he rubbed his head against his wife's pussy every night. So he did, a month later, he had a fine covering of hair on his head, he was so p...

my gf asked me why I call her squirrel

me: because you're short, cute, jumpy, have a bushy tail, and are always on my nuts.

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.

She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she gently steps with her high heels on the bar stool and plops herself on the bar top, crosses her legs, and seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently care...

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A girl wants to introduce her boyfriend, Maggot, to her parents

Maggot is this big biker dude. He has a leather vest, a bushy beard, and of course his pride and joy: a Harley-Davidson he keeps in pristine condition by polishing the chrome weekly and rubbing the saddle with vasoline whenever it rains.

So, at dinnertime, Maggot arrives at the parents' house...

Beware the viper

A man arrives home and checks his messages. He got one by someone with a creepy sounding voice, saying, “This is the viper. Tomorrow I am coming to your house!” The man is pretty frightened by this. Who is this Viper; a serial killer? A prank caller?

The man hopes it’s a prank call and...

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Harry the horse

Once upon a time, in a quaint little village nestled between rolling green hills, there lived a horse named Harry. Now, Harry was no ordinary horse; he possessed an uncanny ability to make the most mundane situations utterly hilarious. His knack for comedy made him the talk of the town, and villager...

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Lenin in Poland

The communist party of Poland decided to celebrate the anniversary of Lenin’s birth. They approached a famous painter and asked him for a painting titled “Lenin in Poland”. The painter hated communism, but he agreed to do it on the condition that he will have total artistic freedom and everyone will...

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Little Johnny

One rainy day little Johnny was inside playing with his toys. He heard a loud crashing and he turned round to see what it was. It was a man with a big bushy beard, a baseball cap and a ripped suit on.
“Who are you?” Asked little Johnny
“I’m you” replied the man “you from the future”
“Oh my...

I have this friend who went to Yale.

I have this friend who went to Yale. Maybe you've met him? Really bushy beard, went back to school get a doctorate in sculpture? Anyway. He just gave me his entire collection of carved blackbirds. I was stunned because not only are these some of the most well-crafted sculptures I've ever seen, but h...

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There once was a man named Dave…

… who lived alone in a small apartment. He was lonely and bored, so he decided to adopt a dog from the local shelter. He went there and saw many dogs of different breeds and sizes, but none of them caught his eye. Then he noticed a large, shaggy dog in the corner of the cage. It had long fur that co...

A communist walks into a bar

He orders nothing, and instead just sits down at the bar and begins reading a newspaper.

“What’ll it be?” Asked the bartender.

“Nothing.” Replied the communist, his face concealed behind the newspaper.

“You don’t want anything?” Said the bartender.

“No!” Replied the com...

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Taking a sick day

An employee walks in to his boss's office and tells him he has an upset stomach and a really bad headache. He then asks his boss what he should do. His boss says, "When I get to feeling really sick like that, I go home, lay down, have sex with my wife, then sleep the day away. I always awake feeling...

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Little Billy came home early from school to find his mom naked, just getting out of the shower...

"Hey mom, what's that bushy thing between your legs?" he asked. "Oh that's just my sponge," his mom replied. A few days later Billy had a friend over, "mom, show Tommy your sponge." Billy's mom replies, "oh, I can't, I seem to have misplaced it." Billy says "oh I'll go ask the babysitter where she p...

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Little red ridding hood was walking through the forrest...

So little red ridding hood was walking through the forrest on the way to grandma's house. She see's some nice flowers and goes to pick them. There she see's the wolf's feet.

"oh my Mr. wolf, what big feet you have"

Wolf just grumbles something and walks away.

Little red just k...

A blind rabbit and a blind snake

A blind rabbit and a blind snake are roaming around in the woods. The rabbit trips over the snake and the rabbit says "Watch out where you're going! I'm blind"
"Wow, what a coincidence" says the snake. "I'm blind too! What are you?"
"I don't know, I've always been blind why don't you feel me?"...

One day a family of squirrels and a family of skunks are crossing the road...

...a car drives by and hits them. The only survivors was a baby squirrel and skunk and from that day on they became the best of friends. Years later, they're walking through the woods together:

Squirrel: Hey, have you ever wondered what we were?

Skunk: Yes, I have.

Squirrel: Ho...

A Man...

A Man is stopped by an Old Woman who was holding out seeds and says "take these seeds and you will be on your way to success."
The man takes the seeds and plants them, going to sleep and waking up the next day to find the seeds have sprouted into a gigantic tree. A booking voice rings out from ab...

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The origins of the ornamental angel atop the Christmas tree

It's almost New Year's Eve and Santa is getting ready to get to work and bring presents to everyone that has been good this year. So there he is at home, taking a shower and preparing for the big night. Opening his closet, he sifts through his clothes and finds his favorite red coat and trousers, bu...

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