A lawyer, A rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk...

...Are driving together on Route 66. It's beginning to get dark and they are wishing for a place to stop but there isn't a town for miles. Then they spot an old farmhouse and decide to ask. The farmer meets them at the door and listens to their request. He says that he would be glad to let them stay...

What do you say about the coins you toss into a wishing well?

Money well spent

Last night I went to bed wishing I looked younger, well this morning I woke up with my wish granted.

I had a couple of zits on my forehead!

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well.

I was amazed – I never knew they worked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I slept like a baby last night

I slept like a baby last night.

I woke up every hour wishing I had a boob in my mouth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Genie: You get one wish.

Me: I wish for mor-

Genie: No wishing for more wishes.

Me:

Genie:

Me: I wish for more genies.

Genie: Holy shit.

All the new genies: Holy shit.

Thinking about how much weight I've put on over the pandemic, I can't help wishing that I stayed in Britain…

I'd eat pizza every day and I'd just keep losing pounds.

Genie joke

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it, only to have a genie appear.

The genie says: "I will grant you three wishes, but there are also 3 rules. Rule number 1: no wishing for death. Rule number 2: no wishing for love. Rule number 3: no wishing to revive the dead".

The man thinks for a se...

My wife died recently

She fell down a wishing well. I didn't know those things actually worked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men find a lamp...

Three middle aged men are walking along an abandoned beach when they find a golden lamp glistening in the sun. Deciding they have nothing to lose, they decide to rub it and see what happens. In astonishment, they see a genie appear before them.

"Thank you for freeing me from my lamp. To thank...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a lady that was getting married for the eighth time.

She went to a plastic surgeon and asked if he could make her a virgin again, and if he could do it without telling anyone.
He explained to her that he could and that legally he can not tell anyone about the surgery.
She went ahead and had the surgery, but when she woke up she saw three bouquet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man drops his coin into the wishing well...

" I wish I had a giant cock!"

Wish granted. Cause of death, 2 metre cock shoved up his ass. Giant still at large.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last Day Alive

My dad was ill and the doctor said this was his last day left to live. I was truly sad and was walking outside when I spotted a wishing well. Taking my chances I tossed in a quarter and wished his life would be extended. A r/jokes mod genie appeared out of the well and said " I hear your wish my son...

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Atilla and his Anaconda

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.



But his snake lost ...

"Scary Snack" - A joke told like a horror story

After just arriving to his new home, little 7 year old Johnny was so excited. He just couldn't wait to run inside, find his new room and start unpacking all of his toys.

The afternoon passes, dinner is eaten, and the majority of essentials are where they are needing to be. His parents help hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Banana walks into a bar

He sits down and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender brings the banana his beverage and the banana begins to drink the beverage. Then a beautiful cucumber enters the bar and sits by the banana. The banana is quite taken by the cucumber. He asks if she’d like to go with him to the bathroom fo...

I asked an artist friend of mine to draw me a golden wishing well

He replied 'Eh, Midas well"

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