Compliments Jokes - 19 Hilarious Compliments Jokes

Women on dating apps give me compliments all the time

One time this girl told me "you are unmatched"

What do you call a waffle on a California beach?

A Sandy Eggo.
- Compliments of my cousin's 6 year old daughter (She says "Hi" by the way).

-EDIT: Wow, this blew up a lot more than I thought it would. My first gold and my first post to make it to the front page. You are too kind, Reddit.

I get a lot of compliments about my feet...

Some say they're legends!...

Leg. Ends.

I'll see myself out!

What's the difference between a car and a compliment?

I don't hit people with compliments very often.

Bomb Compliments

“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

It’s a compliment in America but an argument in Al Quaida meeting.

A parishioner compliments the minister after a sermon, saying, "Reverend, your words today were akin to the peace and love of God."

"Thank you," responds the minister, "Why do you say that?"

The parishioner explains, " Because the peace of God passes all understanding, and the love of God endures forever."

A Man Compliments His Wife.

One night, a wife and her husband are laying in the bed with nothing but silence between them.

The wife glances over to her husband and asks: "You know, I've always wondered how you would briefly describe me. You did marry me afterall".

The husband ponders her question and then says: "...

A girl goes up to you and compliments you.

That was the joke.

What’s the first thing Mrs Clause did when Santa got home on Christmas morning ?

Emptied his sack.

(Compliments of my 7 year old son)

Edit - No he did not understand what he was saying and Yes we did tell him not to repeat it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Compliments

If sex between 3 people is called a threesome and sex between 2 people is called a twosome...then why is handsome still a compliment?

I like my compliments like I like my eggs..

Well done.

Daddy to the rescue

At a religious school, a teacher asks her pre-school class which part of their body they think goes to Heaven first.

“I think it’s your hands!” a boy answers.

“Why is that?” the teacher asks.

“Because when you pray, you put your hands in front of you,” the boy explains.

“...

How can I pay my compliments to the doctor who circumcised me?

I just feel like leaving a tip wasn't enough.

How are you at taking back handed compliments?

I bet you're really good at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This lady friend got really mad at me for giving her a compliment

So I was hanging out with a friend of mine and she has been in a dark place lately. I thought I’d be nice and give her a compliment. Then all of a sudden the slaps me and leaves. Just like that.

I don’t really understand why she would do that. We’ve been friends for a while now and she is sup...

I've been told that red wine compliments a steak.

But so far my glass hasn't said anything nice at all.

Just got my drivers license and I'm already getting compliments!

Someone left a note on my car which said "Parking fine!" I was so happy :)

Here's a bit of family-friendly ADD humor, compliments of my wife and daughter

So, my wife, children, and myself were out in town the other day. My wife was reprimanding our daughter for not listening and for not paying attention to things going on. The conversation went as follows (names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved):

Jane (wife): Jill, I ...

Three guys enter a restaurant

They heard that in this particular restaurant, the waiter would sing their customer a little song every time they give out their order.

Hearing this, the guys each make their order. Then, after waiting a while, the waiter arrives with one of the firest guy's food and a little song to accompan...

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