I get a lot of compliments about my feet...

Some say they're legends!...

Leg. Ends.

I'll see myself out!

SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus, but did you know TUBA is also an acronym? Yeah really. It stands for Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

Compliments of Hank Green

How many compliments does it take to get to a guy's heart?

You guys are getting compliments?

>!one every five years or so!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This lady friend got really mad at me for giving her a compliment

So I was hanging out with a friend of mine and she has been in a dark place lately. I thought I’d be nice and give her a compliment. Then all of a sudden the slaps me and leaves. Just like that.

I don’t really understand why she would do that. We’ve been friends for a while now and she is sup...

Bomb Compliments

“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

It’s a compliment in America but an argument in Al Quaida meeting.

Rumor has it that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin decided to team up with NASA to fake the moon landing together, but to make it look as realistic as possible, they urged NASA to film on location.

Compliments of Neil De Grasse Tyson

A girl goes up to you and compliments you.

That was the joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As Farmer Brown approached his neighbor’s barn, he saw Farmer Jones serenading a tractor with songs and compliments. “What are you doing?” Farmer Brown demanded. Farmer Jones replied, “My wife and I have been having marital difficulties and the marital counselor said I needed to do something..."

"...sexy to a tractor.”

How can I pay my compliments to the doctor who circumcised me?

I just feel like leaving a tip wasn't enough.

A Man Compliments His Wife.

One night, a wife and her husband are laying in the bed with nothing but silence between them.

The wife glances over to her husband and asks: "You know, I've always wondered how you would briefly describe me. You did marry me afterall".

The husband ponders her question and then says: "...

I like my compliments like I like my eggs..

Well done.

A wife told her husband she looks fat so she asked for a compliment

Her husband instantly compliments her saying "you have excellent eyesight."

Here's a bit of family-friendly ADD humor, compliments of my wife and daughter

So, my wife, children, and myself were out in town the other day. My wife was reprimanding our daughter for not listening and for not paying attention to things going on. The conversation went as follows (names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved):

Jane (wife): Jill, I ...

How are you at taking back handed compliments?

I bet you're really good at it.

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