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Aladdin Jokes

A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp.

She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual. The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her the following wishes:
- I want my husband to have eyes only for me
- I want to be the only one in his life
- I want that when he gets up in the morning I’m the first thing he gra...

What's Aladdin's favorite Pokemon?

A Magikarpet.

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs.

What was Aladdin called after he went Vegan?

Saladdin.

If Aladdin used a web browser

It would be called Jafari.

(I'm so sorry my friend made me do this.)

Filming *Aladdin* must have been physically very hard on Will Smith.

I understand that at the end of each day shooting he was black and blue.

The community theater recently posted auditions for Aladdin and a Christmas play

On audition day, local news reporter Thi Xix Hao spotted someone crying outside the audition room.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

The dejected man looked up. “You look familiar” he said.

“I am local news reporter, Thi Xix Hao. You also look familiar to me”

“I am Chad Kroeger, ...

Why did Jasmine break up with Aladdin?

Because he had a boo on the side

What would you call Jafar's bird from the Disney movie Aladdin if he was made of cheese?

Asiago

Aladdin and his monkey, Abu, find a magic lamp.

The genie emerges and offers three wishes. Aladdin laments, “I’m just a poor lonely thief. My only friend is my monkey Abu here. I wish I could cover my eyes with my hands and when I uncover them, a new friend would appear.”

The genie says, “It is granted,” and Aladdin tries it out. He covers...

In an alternate universe, Aladdin stumbles upon the magic lamp

He picks it up, rubs it and out pops the genie. In this universe, however, the genie only grants you *one* wish and it’s from three pre-selected items of the genie. Aladdin, who obviously doesn’t know about the original story and therefor have no objections, happily accepts these ridiculous rules....

Why was Aladdin never constipated?

Because wherever he went, he always took Apu.

So, Will Smith is playing the genie from Aladdin, well then

West Philadelphia born and raised, in a genie lamp is where I spend most of my days. Chillin out back and relaxing all cool til Aladdin showed up with little Abu then a couple of guys who were up to no good..Jafar started taking over my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my master got scare...

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The Forgotten Pick-Up Line

A man walks up to an attractive woman at a bar and begins to tell her a story.

"The other day, I was walking through the park, when something unexpected bumped against my shoe," he says.

The girl is intrigued. "Well, what was it?" she asks.

"It was a magic lamp," the man says. ...

A husband comes home one day and tells his wife he found Aladdin's lamp...

Wife: Oh my god, you're SO LUCKY! What did you wish for darling?

Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times.

Wife: Awww, you're so sweet baby! And did it work?

Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

Aladdin did not have Nipples in Disnets original animated blockbuster film.

I guess you can't milk a street rat.

Activists Sued for Copyright Violation after portraying Trump as Jafar in Aladdin Stage Show.

Judge says Pantomime to Tyrancy was Tantamount to Piracy.

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Why did Aladdin have a shoe on his crotch?

Because he told the Genie he wanted his penis to grow a foot.

What's Dio's favourite Disney movie?

Aladdin. Because I can show you ZA WARUDO!

Actress: I want to be in the Aladdin remake.

Harvey Weinstein: All you have to do is rub my lamp.

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Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

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Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein sat just watching T.V

Harvey asks "hey Kev, you wanna rent a DVD tonight?"

Kevin thinks for a minute "Yeah" he says "let's get aladdin!"

"calm down Kev ain't you in a enough shit already?" replies Harvey.

Old but gold

One day, John visited Rick to borrow some movie to watch.

John: "can i borrow some of your movies?"

Rick: "Sure thing, just follow me"

John followed rick to a room full of movies from a to z

Rick: "so what are you looking for?"

John: "oh just some family friend...

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A man notices a huge wristwatch in his friend's garden

A man notices a huge wristwatch, towering everything, in his friend's garden .
"What's with this giant wristwatch here ?", the visitor says.

The man smiles and says :
"Oh, I got it thanks to this magic lamp ! You can try it if you want !"

The man gives the Aladdin-li...

Wish

Translated from my language, might contain mistakes, I apologize in advance.


Guy was walking on the beach and saw an Aladdin Lamp buried in the sand. He grabbed it, rubbed it till it got clean and genie came out and told him:

-You have freed me from the lamp, I can make one wish c...

Tiny Concerto

So, a guy walks into a bar. It's early in the afternoon, and he's the only customer, so he sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings it, sets it down, and says, "That'll be 20 dollars." The man looks at him, wide-eyed, and says "Twenty dollars? For one freaking beer?" "Oh no", say...

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The Magic Lamp

A man whose wife had just divorced him was walking down along the beach trying to figure out what he was going to do next with his life. Suddenly his foot kicked something hard in the sand and he was immediately surrounded by smoke. A Booming voice said :

"I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP"
...

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