I lost my home because I threw a house warming party.

I miss my igloo.

Over heard my flat earth believing friend talking about global warming..

I told him to make up his mind.

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

Why did humanity fail to stop global warming?

It was too polarizing

Karma and Irony are best friends

They go roaming the city one night looking for a place to eat.
They spot a homeless man warming his hands by a fire, and karma steals a belt lying next to him, laughing.
Irony stays behind and hands the belt back before catching up with Karma.
They then walk into a bar, and Karma says “ou...

Global warming doesn’t exist

This subreddit is the only place it’s appropriate to say that.

What do flat-earthers call global warming?

Toast

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday when I got home from work I pointed my wife's hair dryer at my balls and turned it on. My wife asked, "What in the world are you doing?" I replied, "Warming up your dinner."

Unfortunately, I didn't realize she had just started a new diet.

I watched a movie about the dangers of global warming.

Pretty good but it had an anticlimatic ending.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane.

He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressma...

Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism?

The ISIS melting.

I know global warming is bad

but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?

I love throwing house warming parties

**But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'.**

The whole story

It was evident from the start that Joe Bob was kind but wasn’t very bright. His bumbling and stumbling often irritated people greatly, and so, they became impatient with him. Joe Bob’s mother worried endlessly for her son until one day she went to seek the advice of a wise old woman that lived in a ...

The chief editor of the New York Times is traveling in the Amazon jungle

He travels deep into the jungle hoping to write a story about a tribe of cannibals.

After a couple of weeks he finally locates the tribe and starts spying on them from behind some trees.

He feels a tap on the shoulder and he quickly gets captured and finds himself tied up and looks dow...

If we really do live in a simulation, I think I know how they programmed global warming.

They most likely used an "Al-Gore-Ithm"

How did Al Gore discover global warming?

Algoreythms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Newby Salesperson (Long joke)

NOTE: My husband thinks this joke is sexist, but I think it's hilarious.

A young man desperately needed a good paying job, so he applied as a salesperson for a large, everything-under-one-roof store.

The manager, seeing how young the man was, was doubtful he could sell anything, but th...

When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming.

It's a real icebreaker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Singers can be selfish arseholes, especially when warming up...

It’s all “me me me me me me me”

If global warming is not real, why does...

the number of hot singles in my area keep increasing?

Ending it all

Brad was sick of the World, of Covid-19, those who hate China, global warming, species extinction, racial tension and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage at home, carefully sealed up around the windows and doorways of his ...

I had a house warming party the other day...

I should really stop hanging out with pyromaniacs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,

"Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself, she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

"Beersex."

Global warming is a joke.

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

What did the Swiss mountaineer say when he got to a mountain where global warming was reversing itself?

Let's go climate!

In 2024 Al Gore decided to run for president again.

His campaign hinged on a song he made to promote the dangers of global warming. It was so popular it became a meme.

After a while, everyone was talking about Al Gore, and, sure enough he became President.

When asked on the News, "How do you think he won," two fallen YouTubers stated, "...

What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen?

Boy, will that be anticlimatic!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to translate joke from Arabic

Three women setting together talking about a new ways to initiate sex with thier husbands,
One of them says "I have a good way, when ever I want to have sex with John I touch his dick and say your dick is very cold, do you need warming it a bit?, And that's it"

next day they the second wo...

Donald Trump doesn't believe in global warming

Would be a lot cooler if he did

Why are all Republicans supporting global warming?

Because they can’t wait to live in a world with no snowflakes.

Is it okay to mock kids for protesting global warming?

Not in the current climate.

I’m from a future where Trump won re-election and solved Global Warming

Just a heads up though, nuclear winter is a bit chilly.

According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo.

So in other words, basically nothing is going to change.

You’d think Ocasio-Cortez would support global warming...

Given how much she hates ICE and all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to solve Global Warming:

Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

I would tell a joke about global warming

But it's just not cool enough to say

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.

The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of th...

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

At first my wife was angry that I bought a hot-tub without asking her

But she's slowly warming up to it

It was really heart warming when my friends explained what the word "many" meant.

It meant a lot

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