We should all stop studying to prevent global warming

Because everytime someone graduates, the world increases by a degree.

I lost my home because I threw a house warming party.

I miss my igloo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane.

He turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the congressman...

When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I'm homeless.

Over heard my flat earth believing friend talking about global warming..

I told him to make up his mind.

The popular right wing of politics has constantly argued that the effects of global warming are vastly exaggerated

Their own estimates are rather conservative

Why did humanity fail to stop global warming?

It was too polarizing

What do flat-earthers call global warming?

Toast

Pegleg Pete the Pirate decided to retire

He fired his crew, ran his ship aground, and built a small cabin for himself just a short walk from the beach. He enjoyed his quiet life until global warming turned his front yard into a swamp. He couldn't get down to the shore without struggling through muck and mud that was once his peaceful stro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday when I got home from work I pointed my wife's hair dryer at my balls and turned it on. My wife asked, "What in the world are you doing?" I replied, "Warming up your dinner."

Unfortunately, I didn't realize she had just started a new diet.

Global warming doesn’t exist

This subreddit is the only place it’s appropriate to say that.

I watched a movie about the dangers of global warming.

Pretty good but it had an anticlimatic ending.

Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism?

The ISIS melting.

I know global warming is bad

but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?

I love throwing house warming parties

**But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'.**

If we really do live in a simulation, I think I know how they programmed global warming.

They most likely used an "Al-Gore-Ithm"

When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming.

It's a real icebreaker.

How did Al Gore discover global warming?

Algoreythms.

What's In a Name?

A man sees a nice-looking girl in a bar, so he goes up and starts small talk. Since she seems receptive, he asks her name. "Carmen," she replies. "That's a nice name," he says, warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself," she answers. "Oh, that's interesting. Why ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Singers can be selfish arseholes, especially when warming up...

It’s all “me me me me me me me”

Karma and Irony are best friends

They go roaming the city one night looking for a place to eat.
They spot a homeless man warming his hands by a fire, and karma steals a belt lying next to him, laughing.
Irony stays behind and hands the belt back before catching up with Karma.
They then walk into a bar, and Karma says “ou...

If global warming is not real, why does...

the number of hot singles in my area keep increasing?

Global warming is a joke.

Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.

I'm an environmental hipster

I believed in global warming before it was co... nevermind.

I had a house warming party the other day...

I should really stop hanging out with pyromaniacs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meeting the locals....

Tom had been in Police work for 30 years.

Finally sick of the stress, he retires from his job and buys 50 acres of land in the highlands of Scotland, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and does a food shop once a month.

Otherwise it's total peace ...

What did the Swiss mountaineer say when he got to a mountain where global warming was reversing itself?

Let's go climate!

The chief editor of the New York Times is traveling in the Amazon jungle

He travels deep into the jungle hoping to write a story about a tribe of cannibals.

After a couple of weeks he finally locates the tribe and starts spying on them from behind some trees.

He feels a tap on the shoulder and he quickly gets captured and finds himself tied up and looks dow...

The whole story

It was evident from the start that Joe Bob was kind but wasn’t very bright. His bumbling and stumbling often irritated people greatly, and so, they became impatient with him. Joe Bob’s mother worried endlessly for her son until one day she went to seek the advice of a wise old woman that lived in a ...

Donald Trump doesn't believe in global warming

Would be a lot cooler if he did

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Newby Salesperson (Long joke)

NOTE: My husband thinks this joke is sexist, but I think it's hilarious.

A young man desperately needed a good paying job, so he applied as a salesperson for a large, everything-under-one-roof store.

The manager, seeing how young the man was, was doubtful he could sell anything, but th...

What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen?

Boy, will that be anticlimatic!

Why are all Republicans supporting global warming?

Because they can’t wait to live in a world with no snowflakes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to translate joke from Arabic

Three women setting together talking about a new ways to initiate sex with thier husbands,
One of them says "I have a good way, when ever I want to have sex with John I touch his dick and say your dick is very cold, do you need warming it a bit?, And that's it"

next day they the second wo...

Is it okay to mock kids for protesting global warming?

Not in the current climate.

I’m from a future where Trump won re-election and solved Global Warming

Just a heads up though, nuclear winter is a bit chilly.

Ending it all

Brad was sick of the World, of Covid-19, those who hate China, global warming, species extinction, racial tension and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage at home, carefully sealed up around the windows and doorways of his ...

According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo.

So in other words, basically nothing is going to change.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to solve Global Warming:

Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

You’d think Ocasio-Cortez would support global warming...

Given how much she hates ICE and all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.

The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of th...

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