My job title is "Thermal Generation Engineer for Recumbent Structural Apparatus."

I keep a chair warm.

I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now.

He replied that he was currently working on:

\*Aqua-thermal treatment on ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment\*

I was impressed......

On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water under his wife's supervision.

I got sent home from work today because I failed the temperature test today.

I dropped my pants and bent over.

They should have said it was a thermal scan!

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Three guys were standing on the roof of the Empire State Building.

The first said: "You know, the wind currents here in New York are so strong that you could step off the edge of this building and literally float in mid-air due to the upward thrust of the thermal air current"

"You're crazy", said the second guy.

"You don't believe me?", said the first...

A physicist flirts with a fat lady.

Physicist: Hey lady, you know why you're hot?

Fat lady: (surprised and shocked) I don't know, why?

Physicist: (whispers) Thermal Expansion!

Fat lady: *slaps*

A friend calls his engineer friend

A friend calls his engineer friend. What are you doing? He asks. The engineer answers "I'm in the middle of the project hydro thermal behavior of porcelain glass and metals under a controlled high-pressured environment". I am not sure I understand, can you explain it in plain language?. And the engi...

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normally don't like longer jokes but, this is funny

A US Navy cruiser was anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.

The first evening in port, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy, influential plantation owner (who also happened to be a very generous political donor). It read:

"Dear Ca...

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There was a special forces competition...

And USA, Russia and China got into the finals.

For the finals, the question was this:
Go into the forest, and find the rabbit.

So the Russians went first.

They brought with them 100 of their finest and searched the whole forest, inch by inch they looked for traces of the rabb...

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"The watch"

My dad just reminded me of this old classic!

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says....

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A guy moves way way out to the country...

...miles from anything. One day there's a knock at the door, and he opens it to find a guy in full hayseed regalia, overalls, thermal shirt, the works.

Hick: "Howdy, new neighbor! Would ya like to come to a party at my place tonight?"

New guy: "Well, sure! I'm new to these parts, I su...

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

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