Violins Jokes

I didn't know that she had a history of violins.

He's a little sad, but only a little, for they barely knew each other. Then, a few days later, a package arrives. It contains his inheritance from the estate: A violin and a painting. He has no idea what to do with them. After pondering the matter, he takes them to an appraiser. Not too long later t... read more

She was sick of the domestic violins.

Three violin manufactures have all done business for years on the same block in the small town of Cremona, Italy.
After years of peaceful co-existence, the Amati family decided to put a sign in their shop window saying: “We make the best violins in Italy.”
The Guarneri family soon put a sign i... read more

Too much sax and violins

Please don’t become angry and resort to violins if you don’t notice.

Because violins is not the answer...

I got arrested for domestic violins

He was charged with domestic violins.

Because it leads to domestic violins.

(From my 9 year old...)

They strung him up, but he didn't fret.

*Cogwheel takes a bow*

Violins begets violence

Because of the violins inherent in the cistern

Guest: Violins?

Host: "Violins" is not the answer.

When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.

Everyday they wake up, and chose violins

I walked up to the woman, and said for the sake of your son, please do not resort to violins.

They think the crime was orchestrated, but could not rule out a random act of violins

Way too much sax and violins

The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

There was too much sax and violins.

She said there was too much sax and violins

I had to call the police to report domestic violins.

As a Doctor, he was naturally against domestic violins.

"Very interesting." he tells the man on his return. "You realise, you've got a genuine Rembrandt and a bona fide Stradivarius here."

"That's wonderful- I'm rich!" exclaims the man.

"Not so fast, son." replies the dealer- "Rembrandt violins are notorious poor quality and Stradivarius co... read more

Domestic violins.

They always result in domestic violins.

There's just too much sax and violins

Those concerned mums were right, there's way too much violins in video games.

Too much sax and violins.

Violins is not the answer.

I don't like to resort to violins

1. They might not think it's friendly ribbon.
2. You should have the presents of mind to be polite
3. If they have an arrow, they might shoot you with it.
4. They might get angry and resort to violins.
5. In that situation, it's best to be curt, see?
6. Just say the bow wowed you.
... read more

but it was merely more evidence of the violins inherent in the cistern.

But it was full of sax and violins.

He says he has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to workplace violins.

Then i realised that she used to do it to all of her previous boyfriends.
I would have broken up sooner if i had known she had a history of violins

I don't know, but violins isn't the answer.

They said the classes encouraged too much sax and violins...

Unfortunately, Stradivari was a horrible painter, and Rembrandt knew nothing about making violins.

An act of violins.

Apparently someone struck a wrong cord and it led to a lot of violins.

"Hi kids, do you like violins?"

Shoot one of them.

How do you get two violins to play in tune? Shoot both of them.

How do you get two altos to sing in tune? It doesn’t matter, nobody’s listening.

Because of all the violins.

He rejected the violins.

Because there was lots of Sax and Violins.

Unfortunately, on further investigation I was able to discover that Rembrandt made useless violins and Stradivarius painted like a pre-schooler.