UPJOKE
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A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant

He goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender "Well then how much for a NY sirloin, with side of mashed potatoes and salad, and an entire cheesecake for desert?" The Bartender reply's "$5"....

I dropped my sirloin on the ground during a cooking contest.

Not a worry, the steaks were low

Why is the sirloin the king of steaks?

It’s the only one you have to address as “sir”

What’s the difference between a loin steak and sirloin steak?

The Sir loin is knighted

I treat my women like I treat my sirloin steaks

2 minutes on each side.

Why did the man eating the largest cut of sirloin feel super sad when he was told the restaurant was closing down?

Because he was the biggest steakholder.

Putin and Trump were having dinner together

The waiter came to take their order.

Waiter: "What can I get for you tonight?"

Putin: "I will have the sirloin steak medium rare."

Waiter: "And for the vegetable?"

Putin: "The vegetable will also have the sirloin steak medium rare"

Horsing Around

Wife and I went to the horsetrack the other day. I placed my bet and ordered us a couple sirloins. When the race began I grabbed our plates of food and flung them into the air.


I've gambled before, but the steaks had never been so high.

Three guys enter a steakhouse

One guy orderes a sirloin. Another guy the Porterhouse. The third the New York Strip.

Once the plates arrive, the three men lift their meals above their heads.

The waiter asks "What are you all doing?"

The men replied "Raising the steaks."

Two men walk into a bar and see a sign behind the bar...

the sign reads "FREE Drinks if you complete the 'Task'"

They call the barman over and enquire about the sign

"It's true" say the barman, "free drinks all night if you complete the Task"

Curious, Man 1 asks "so whats the Task?"

"If you look directly up, you'll see two Sirl...

A husband and wife went out to dinner

A husband and wife went out to dinner. They settled in a nice steak restaurant and begin ordering. The man told the waiter, "I would like a regular sirloin steak." The waiter asks, "and the doneness?" The man says, " I would like it bloody-rare." The concerned waiter asks, "what about Mad-Cow?" The ...

Restaurant contest

Last weekend I went to one of those restaurants where you can see into the kitchen, it was at that weird time between lunch and dinner and the place was quite empty. I could see there was some kind of contest going on between some of the staff.

First I saw one of the waitresses hold up an inc...

My second favorite joke that came to me in a dream.

Woke up thinking I had told this one to all of my friends and they thought it was truly dumb. I told it to them IRL anyway:

Everybody else went back to the hostel, so I ended up walking around Switzerland by myself at one in the morning. I'm passing this bar when I hear people cheering. I cou...

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