The 113+ Best Organ Jokes

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A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, ...

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What organ can expand to 10 times it's size...

What organ can expand to 10 times it's size...

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered so the teacher picked on a random student

Little Mary stood up and said, "You shoul...

I was auditioning for a play today, and the director yelled at me. He said my acting reminded him of a female reproductive organ! Needless to say I stormed off…

But after I thought about it, I went back. I had to apologize for ovary acting.

A radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, so it's kinda weird that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

That’s like humans having a city called “Liver Pool.”

Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the cooks are British, the police are ~~German~~ American, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.

Did you hear about the surgeon who branded his initials on a patient's organ?

Apparently it was an inside joke

I used to disapprove of organ transplants…

But I’ve had a change of heart

What’s a postman’s favourite organ?

It’s the liver!!

Have I ever told you the story about the organ donor?

It's really disheartening.

So, now that antifa has been declared a terrorist organization...

...when will the U.S. government start arming them?

Dr. Parker, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smith, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Smith gasped, blushed deeply, then said freezingly,
Dr. Parker, I do not think that is a proper question to
ask me, you should be asking a boy. And I assure you my
parents will hear of this." With that she sat down, very
red-faced.

Unperturbed, Dr. Parker called on Miss John...

I organized a threesome last week.

There were a couple of no shows, but I did alright.

Med student was unable to identify an organ

So a viva exam was going on which the students had identify the organ shown and tell their functions.
There was this one student who was really struggling with identifying the organ that was shown to him. He was saying random organs like 'heart, kidney, liver etc'. The examiner eventually felt pi...

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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge...

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Bec...

What did the organ donor say to the transplant recipient after surgery?

Signed, sealed, de-livered I'm yours

I would inform my friend that our "doctors" were actually organ traffickers but...

...I don't have the heart to tell him

It's easy to tell if someone is an organ donor.

In fact, its a dead giveaway.

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

If animal organs were compatible with humans...

Your dog would offer you his kidney even if he only had one that worked.

Your cat would show up one morning with 37 kidneys in a sack and tell you to pick one.

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After sex a woman tells a man that she didn't like his performance, that his organ was to small.

He looks at her and says "I didn't know I would be playing in a cathedral".

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19.

Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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There is a new female organ player at a small church...

She is a beautiful woman, but there is a problem: her ample bosom is causing an issue with the men in the church. While playing the organ, her breasts bounce and sway. Men in the church are getting distracted and many get in trouble with their wives for gazing longingly at her.

An old woman ...

I was never a fan of organ donation.

But then I had a change of heart.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ

Then I thought, look what’s telling me that

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[NSFW] A priest and an old blind woman who plays the church organ, are preparing for the weekly sermon.

Every week, the organ player eats a banana to keep her energy up before the crowds arrive, but she always seems to have terrible trouble peeling it.

The priest sees an opportunity and decides to swap the banana for his penis. The organ player grabs his tackle and starts fondling it.

...

Organic chemistry is difficult.

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Is good intention enough to be an organ donor?

No, it also takes guts.

I’ve decided to become an organ donor...

That way when I die an elephant gets a new trunk.

Did you know, that if you take all of the human organs and spread them out on a football field.

You get arrested

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What's the warmest organ in a dead body?

My dick

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What's the shortest organ in a goat?

An ISIS member's dick.

You know, people tell me organ meat is offal...

But personally I think German meats are the wurst.

Elon Musk organized a press conference about his project to solve global warming

"I will build giant sunglasses"

Journalist raises her hand. "How does that stop the earth from warming up?"

"It makes it cool"

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The head of an organized crime syndicate realized his accountant had been skimming money from him for years.

Unfortunately the accountant only spoke Russian. So the boss hired a Russian interpreter and busted into the accountant’s home.

He tells to the interpreter, “tell him I want to know where my money is, AND I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW!!” The interpreter conveys the message in Russian and the acco...

I organized a threesome last night.

Two no-shows, but all in all a good time!

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Which is the lightest organ of the male human body ?

Penis. Because thoughts can lift it.

I gave up my dream of becoming an organ donor

I didn’t have the heart for it

We tried that new fusion restaurant that only serves intestines and organ meat.

It was offal.

The other day I thought, wow, the brain sure is a nifty organ!

Then I thought, hang on – which organ was it that put that thought into my mind again?

I can’t be in the national organ donor program.

I just don’t have the guts.

I thought, "What organ in the body is the most important?"

The immediate answer was, "The brain". That makes sense....................

Wait a minute, what organ in the body is telling me that?!

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So a penis walks into a bar,

So this penis walks into a bar, right? And the bartender says, “Why the fuck is there a giant walking penis in my place of business? What morbid Lovecraftian monstrosity is this, where a male sex organ has taken an anthropomorphic form and moved frictionlessly to my very own bar? What does this crea...

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What organ in the woman's body is still warm 15 minutes after her death?

My cock.

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An organ grinder and his capuchin monkey are hired to perform at a local pub

The organ grinder is happily taking requests from the patrons, but his monkey is in rare form on this particular evening. The monkey is dancing around on tables, stealing food, lifting cigarettes, and getting into various other shenanigans. At one point, the monkey hops up on the bar and starts pick...

I was recently targeted by an organ donation scam

They tried to convince me that, for a small monthly fee, I could have priority access to organ donation from the recently deceased.

It was a dead giveaway.

I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament but it's really difficult... Good players are hard to find."

but it's really difficult... Good players are hard to find

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The World Health Organization has said Monkeypox is primarily spreading through sex.

So Redditors should be safe.

A son says to his father: "Dad, I'm thinking about a career in organized crime."

Father: "Government or private sector?"

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During World war 2, there was a shortage of organs for transplantation...

... so one London hospital had started trying to use animal parts instead.

A man who had lost his eye, arm and his penis in the bombings was one of the first patients receiving this experimental treatment.

Instead of his lost eye, they gave him the eye of an eagle.

Instead of ...

I work for the Big, International Non-Governmental Organization.

And BINGO is its name-o.

The biology teacher told us our skin is the biggest organ...

Here i was thinking it was the one they play in the church down the road!

The donor organ was going to be a bit late...

I was going to tell the patient, but I didn't have the heart to.

The World Health Organization has your best interests in mind....

WHO cares

Did you hear about Marie Kondo’s latest book on organizing closets?

It’s called Hanger Management

Why is it so hard to be an organ doner?

You need the guts to do it

The liver is the only organ that can regrow if damaged....

I'll drink to that.

My drivers license says I'm an organ donor,

but jokes on them because I own a piano.

Who's the only organization with a higher death rate than PETA?

The Make-A-Wish foundation.

What do you call an emortal organ donor

A liver

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What is a man's most sensitive organ while masturbating?

His ears

What kind of organization is Atheism?

A non-prophet

Hopefully George Michael was an organ donor...

... so on his last Christmas he gave someone his heart

A man lost his tongue in an accident. He was most upset that he could no longer enjoy his food, so he searched for a surgeon that would do a transplant. Finally he found an organ doner and paid $25k for the procedure...

...later, he had to admit that the new tongue wasn't the same as before, but still it was an acquired taste.

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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys,

all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Vital organ donors never laugh at my jokes.

It’s as if they have no heart.

The male organ is confused.

It doesn't know whether it's coming or going.

I hope Stephen Hawkins was an organ donor

I really need some parts for my go kart

Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5

Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5. He practiced and practiced every day. He had heard of this orchestra from his town that was really hard to get accepted into. This made him want to practice and practice even more. He even got private lessons with a skilled organist. Finally, the day...

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I'm organizing a convention for a charity that develops and donates devices which provide audible alerts for deaf/mute individuals at their moment of orgasm.

We'll let you know who's coming.

This guy marched up to me and asked, "Excuse me, but have you considered becoming an organ donor?"

I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Father, I think this church should be able to afford its own!"

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My son asked me, "Dad, what's the difference between the male and female sexual organs?"

I replied, "Well, there's a vas deferens".

Gamers and organ harvesters are similar in some ways.

They both loot through chests hoping to find rare loot to sell later on.

Small Organ

A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over.

After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing.

"You...

I just witnessed a doctor accidentally drop a fragile organ transplant...

It was a heart-breaking scene.

My dad told me to get an organ donor card...

He’s a man after my own heart!

What did one organ say to the other when their person peed their pants?

You got to be kiddiney right now!!

What do you get when you perform an organ transplant

A liver

What do a newborn baby and a victim of organ theft have in common?

They’ve both been delivered.

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A Finnish and a Japanese company decided to organize an annual rowing competition with 8-man teams.

A Finnish and a Japanese company decided to organize an annual rowing competition with 8-man teams. Both teams trained long and hard. When race day came, both teams thought they were in top shape, but the Japanese won by far in the mile.

After the defeat, a defeatist mood prevailed among the ...

Did you hear about the man who was taken off the organ transplant list?

He was so disheartened

How does a librarian organize their music collection?

They use the Dewey Decibel System

While watching Dracula, I was surprised by how good he was at playing the church organ. But then, you know what they say about Count Dracula.

His bite is worse than his Bach.

Why are eyes always the last organ harvested?

because they dilate

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Which organ in your body is in charge?

A long time ago, all the organs in a human body got into an argument, as to who should be in charge of the body, who is the most necessary one.

The brain said "I am obviously the one! I make all the decisions!"
The stomach replied "Well I feed the entire body! That is the most important ...

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning,

and does not stop until you get into the office

How did the butcher know he’d been handling too much organ meat.

He felt offal.

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally

caught him by the organ.

Why are the brake discs of Miley Cyrus' car shaped like a human organ?

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

Where do organic sodas live?

Carbon Nation

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

Organ meeting (different from the one when they argue who is in charge)

All the organs and body parts have a meeting. Brain informs them that once a year, they can afford a therapy for one of them, to help it function properly again. Brain then asks them if they have any problems, so it knows which one needs therapy the most.
"All the smoking completely ruined us....

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The organs of the human body meet up at their weekly support group.

Heart: So tell me, how are all of you doing?

Large intestine: Not good. I’m all backed up on work and my productivity is shit.

Gallbladder: Same here. My girlfriend told me yesterday that she thinks I’m narcisscystic.

Heart: How about you, Brain?

Brain: Just terrible. I...

A group of organic molecules

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and robbed all the precious jewels. A tall, strong man, armed with a gun came into the room and thrashed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful and asked for his name, to which he replied, "M...

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A woman I had been seeing told me after we had sex for the first time, "I didn't know you had such a small organ."

I told her, "I didn't know I was going to be playing Carnegie Hall."

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My local Chipotle is organizing a stand-up comedy night

I'm going for shits and giggles

What kind of food do organ donors eat?

Organic

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Why is an elephants leg considered a sexual organ in India?

When it steps on you, you’re fucked.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.

So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"

Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."

"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're...

Which body organ loves life the most?

The Liver

I’m an organ donor and the other day I was on my way to donate blood.

But I had to stop when the police started asking me about where the heck did I get a bucketful of blood.

What do you call an experimental organ that’s part of the digestive system?

In-testin

Google announces new usage of an old tool: sending vital organs for surgery via landlines. The organ at the other end will be a working copy of the original, giving an unprecedented supply of life-saving organs to families in need.

They're calling it "The Fax of Life."

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A professor asks his students which organ is the most important. One student immediately shouts his answer. “The penis,” he says.

Professor: Please tell me how you arrived at your conclusion.

Student: Circular reasoning.

Professor: Logical phallusy.

A young woman, let's call her Emma...

... Loses her arms in a tragic bear accident. After healing, she decides to go get a job. The local church decides to find her some work she can do even without arms. She is hired as the new organ player.

Needless to say, her first day as an organ player goes poorly. She quits in shame.
...

If Amazon were a human what would be it’s most important organ?

Da liver

Played an organ for the first time today

I really enjoyed it, but my patient didn't.

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The organ grinder

On a hot day an organ grinder comes into a bar with his monkey and orders a beer. As the organ grinder is sipping his beer, the monkey runs down the bar, squats over a martini, and dips his balls in to cool off.

The guy with the martini shoos the monkey away and orders another martini.
...

Last Halloween, Schwarzenegger, while carrying a piano over his shoulders, throws me an organ.

"What's this for?" I say.

He replies, "I'll be Bach.

And you be Beethoven."

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"Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?''

Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 time...

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A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls...

and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, " Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." St. Peter says, " Okay, dip the ti...

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I just found out that my grandfather was refused his organ transplant.

I don’t have the balls to tell him.

My uncle is a well known organ player.

They even have his picture up at the playground warning parents to keep their kids away from him.

What do you call a religious organization that doesn’t make any money?

A non-prophet!

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