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A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist named Susan, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ.

Unfortunately, she distracted the male part of the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled.

They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So one of the ladies approached Susan very discreetly about the problem, ...

I recently visited a restaurant that only serves internal organs.

It was offal

Humans are just organ banks

And so is my refrigerator

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What is a man's most sensitive organ while masturbating?

His ears

Just quit my side job as an organ harvester. I just couldn’t do it anymore.

It was too disheartening.

I’ve decided to become an organ donor...

That way when I die an elephant gets a new trunk.

I am trying to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it is turning out to be really difficult.

Good players are hard to find.

What do you get when you perform an organ transplant

A liver

Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

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All the organs of the body were having a meeting trying to decide who the one in charge was.

“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.” “I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.” “I should be in charge,” said the stomach,” Because I process food a...

Why are eyes always the last organ harvested?

because they dilate

Can someone explain nonprofit organizations to me?

They don’t really make any cents.

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Silicon boobs are organic and 100% natural

Because Silicon is the most common element in the Earth's surface.

I just witnessed a doctor accidentally drop a fragile organ transplant...

It was a heart-breaking scene.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.

So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"

Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."

"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're...

i told my organ donor

i can’t liver without you

he said
my heart goes out to you

Who's the world health organization?

Yes

Stomach finds out all organs are organizing to plot against it.

It turns to bladder and says: urine this?

“Hi, I’d like to donate my organs”

Nurse: “You’ll have to go to the DMV for tha—“

Me: “No, I’m ready now”

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Which organ in your body is in charge?

A long time ago, all the organs in a human body got into an argument, as to who should be in charge of the body, who is the most necessary one.

The brain said "I am obviously the one! I make all the decisions!"
The stomach replied "Well I feed the entire body! That is the most important ...

My dad signed me up for organ donation.

He's a man after my own heart.

What do you call an experimental organ that’s part of the digestive system?

In-testin

Organs

Sorry you might not have gotten it because it’s an inside joke

Google announces new usage of an old tool: sending vital organs for surgery via landlines. The organ at the other end will be a working copy of the original, giving an unprecedented supply of life-saving organs to families in need.

They're calling it "The Fax of Life."

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A self-made millionaire decided that he was lonely and needed to find a mate. So, he organized a bit of a competition for it.

As his search neared the end he narrowed the choices down to four.

One was a doctor. She was a surgeon, made incredible money. She was focused and driven. Because she was so wealthy on her own, he knew she wasn't in it only for the money.

One was a lawyer. Again, a successful professio...

I’m an organ donor and the other day I was on my way to donate blood.

But I had to stop when the police started asking me about where the heck did I get a bucketful of blood.

A little boy asks his mom: "Is it true we have organs in our body?"

"Of course, darling!" replies the mother.
"Then I think I have a problem: one pipe is sticking out!"

I organized a threesome last night!

There were a couple of no-shows, but I had a good time anyway.

What sound does an organic train make?

CH3COOH CH3COOH

I used to think the brain was the most important organ.

Then I thought,look what’s telling me that

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I was going to say a joke about a common British mammal with excrement in one of its most sensitive organs

But no, that'd be a shit eye deer

Ive had water stuck in my organ of hearing for the past hour...

It's very earitating.

I'm organizing a rally against the right peaceably to assemble.

It will be the protest to end all protests.

(There, original joke. Looking forward to coming back in a few days and seeing a re-post of it make the front page.)

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All of the organs of the body ...

All of the organs of the body got together to decide who should be their leader. The brain made it's argument first: "I am the center of consciousness and all thought. Clearly, I'm best suited for the job." Then the heart spoke up: "Regardless of how brilliant the thought or idea may be, without hea...

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet

How would you feel if someone stole all of your organs

I would feel gutted

What do you call it when an organic lifeform goes out with another organic lifeform?

Carbon dating.

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A professor asks his students which organ is the most important. One student immediately shouts his answer. “The penis,” he says.

Professor: Please tell me how you arrived at your conclusion.

Student: Circular reasoning.

Professor: Logical phallusy.

I'm considering a career in organized crime.

Which is best : Government or Private Sector ?

I can live without my organs

It's hard, but luckily I still have my grand piano and synthesizer.

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Why is an elephants leg considered a sexual organ in India?

When it steps on you, you’re fucked.

I like Elton John. Brilliant on the piano

Sucks on the organ tho.

The government offered to buy my guns from me

But after a thorough background check of the buyer, I am not comfortable with selling weapons to organized crime.

You know what the best part of organized sports is?

Yeah me either

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A woman I had been seeing told me after we had sex for the first time, "I didn't know you had such a small organ."

I told her, "I didn't know I was going to be playing Carnegie Hall."

What do you call a terrorist organization of math teachers

Al-Gebra

Are you an organ donor?

Or an organ don'tor?

I want to quit my job and start a non-profit organization...

...but my wife insists that it doesn’t sound like a good business decision.

Why are the brake discs of Miley Cyrus' car shaped like a human organ?

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

How did the organic vegetable die?

Natural causes

How do you organize a trip from the Earth to Mars with your friends?

You planet

At the start of the wedding party the organizer announced that they had ordered a whole pig, but something went wrong with the delivery and the pig would be late/not coming.

One guest said: "I hope this will be the last time in this relationship that someone says "what is taking that pig so long?""

Never ask a felon to organize something numerically

Not unless you're prepared to handle the con sequences.

Who's the only organization with a higher death rate than PETA?

The Make-A-Wish foundation.

How do you transport an organism with a membrane bound nucleus?

Eukary-it

My job as an Organ donor

Is literally killing me.

Doctor: "Have you ever thought of donating organs after your death?"

Man: " Yeah, I will donate my brain"
Doctor: "Good, all tiny bits help"

An organic chemist, an analytical chemist, and a physical chemist....

An organic chemist, an analytical chemist, and a physical chemist are asked if a certain horse will win the race. The organic chemist asks what the horse has been eating and drugs given to it. The analytical chemist asks for the makeup of the track and mud. The physical chemist starts with "If we as...

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

What is the difference between organized crime and the Whitehouse?

The Whitehouse isn’t organized.

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After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

My penis

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[NSFW] A priest and an old blind woman who plays the church organ, are preparing for the weekly sermon.

Every week, the organ player eats a banana to keep her energy up before the crowds arrive, but she always seems to have terrible trouble peeling it.

The priest sees an opportunity and decides to swap the banana for his penis. The organ player grabs his tackle and starts fondling it.

...

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I just found out that my grandfather was refused his organ transplant.

I don’t have the balls to tell him.

If Amazon were a human what would be it’s most important organ?

Da liver

Did you hear about the surgeon who branded his initials on a patient's organ?

Apparently it was an inside joke

Why did Bach have over 20 children?

His organ wouldn't stop

What worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ..

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Three scientists want to know how long can an organism live without shitting

They try to test it with a pig, so they put a plug in his butthole and start feeding him for days.

The first two weeks the pig is ok, but the third week the scientists see that the pig has become very very fat, so they decide to remove the plug from his ass.

The problem is they don't k...

What is Atheism..?

A non-prophet organisation.

A death row prisoner found himself in the heaven after his death.

He asked the god,"Do all executed prisoners go to heaven?"

The god replied,"No,but all organ donors will go to heaven."

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What do you call a homosexual photosynthetic eukaryotic organisms found in the Middle East?

Al-Gay

One ovary says to the other ovary, “Hey, did you order any furniture?”

The other says, “No, why?”
“There are a couple of nuts trying to shove an organ in.”

Every year I organize a patient-relative charity event to benefit Alzheimer’s research.

I tell the patients to invite their whole family but nobody ever shows up.

Organic chemistry is difficult

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble

What's more beautiful than a delicate rose placed gracefully upon an elegant grand piano?

Somebody putting tulips on your organ.

I just found that my ex-girlfriend needs a kidney transplant

But I'm not worried, because her body hasn't rejected any organ in the last 5 years

-- Credits to Tom Cotter

Arnold Schwarzenegger is organizing a marathon to raise money for the rebuild of Norte Dame...

... It's slogan is ...

'Run with me if you want to give'

If I had to sell any of my organs...

...I'd sell my piano.

Human organs are the opposite of old action figures

People pay a lot more for them once you take them out to the original packaging

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What organ can expand to 10 times it is size............

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered so the teacher picked on a random student
Little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going ...

TIL that spiders reproductive organs are found in their front arms.

Spider-Man.

My friend is weak in differentiating organic molecules

He says they are all alkene.

Why don't Atheist churches have to pay taxes?

Because they're a non-prophet organization

Vegans don't beat their meat

They beat their "0% dairy all organic tofu"

I talked with some old hippies at an organic farm the other day

They were just standing in the middle of their field, watching the tiny shoots of the newly growing vegetables emerge from the earth. And I asked them what they were watching. They replied: “This is the dawning of the age of asparagus, age of asparagus”

What's the difference between Trump and a single cell organism? l.

Single cell organisms have a wall

Why do people call organic chemistry the meanest science?

Because it’s always pushing electrons around

We had to say goodbye to the church choir last Sunday.

It was due to unforeseen organ failure.

I'm organizing a class action lawsuit against Huggies and Pampers.

Their diapers never hold the 22-37 pounds they advertise.

Three organized weaklings defeat an army of barbarians.

When asked how they did it, they responded:

"You know what they say, knowledge is power."

The people still didn't understand, so the trio explained it further:

"Well, you see, we were in formation"

There was a joke telling contest in Germany

Nobody laughed, but it was very well organized.

Why is PETA such an inefficient organization?

They refuse to kill two birds with one stone

What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

I’m thinking about starting an underground business selling human organs...

It’s gonna take a lot of guts.

Organ meeting (different from the one when they argue who is in charge)

All the organs and body parts have a meeting. Brain informs them that once a year, they can afford a therapy for one of them, to help it function properly again. Brain then asks them if they have any problems, so it knows which one needs therapy the most.
"All the smoking completely ruined us....

What’s the most lively recycling center?

The organ transplant center

Last Halloween, Schwarzenegger, while carrying a piano over his shoulders, throws me an organ.

"What's this for?" I say.

He replies, "I'll be Bach.

And you be Beethoven."

Hannibal Lecter lived a long and healthy life

Eating organic really has its perks

I accidentally joined an organization...

I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.

When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.

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A man is about to have sex with a woman

He takes his dick out of his trousers. She laughs and says "you've got a small organ."

The man replied "Well, it's never played in a cathedral before."

Job interview

"Which organizations are you a member of?"

"KKK"

"Sorry, we don't employ people with a stutter."

Liberace was a great piano player.

He sucked on the organ, though.

I’m a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation. I cut the patient’s organ on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all.

Nobody expected the Spanish missed incision.

Germany is a pretty weird country. If you deny the Holocaust, you go to jail.

But if you organize one, you are promoted to Reich Chancellor.

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After sex a woman tells a man that she didn't like his performance, that his organ was to small.

He looks at her and says "I didn't know I would be playing in a cathedral".

The Dyslexia Association of America held an organization-wide toga party.

Everyone came dressed as goats.

I arranged a surprise for my wife's birthday. I put a blindfold on her and took her by the hand upstairs.

Once the blindfold was removed her view was this: me on the bed naked, surrounded by petals and candles, my legs separated enough for her to see the trimmed bush, the throbbing male organ.



A gentle music played.



"I'm ready to pleasure you," I purred, my come hither fing...

Abandoned slogan: “Become an organ donor...”

“...What have you got to lose?”

A group of ravens organized the crows' monthly meeting.

I guess you could say there was a conspiracy to commit a murder.

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Four football hooligans are stranded on a deserted island

After several weeks of surviving on nothing but river water and berries, they decide that one of them must be sacrificed to feed the other three.

“Let’s decide based on the team we support - and *I* support Chelsea” the Chelsea fan proclaims proudly.

The other three look at each other,...

What do you call an organized criminal in hot water?

Mobster bisque

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What's the warmest organ in a dead body?

My dick

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What's the smallest organ in a goat?

An ISIS members' dick.

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