Given that a radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."

It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?

My penis

What is postman's favourite organ?

The liver.

Why are the brake discs of Miley Cyrus' car shaped like a human organ?

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

How would you feel if someone stole all of your organs

I would feel gutted

Are you an organ donor?

Or an organ don'tor?

What does an organ stealing bandit say?

Stand and de-liver!

My job as an Organ donor

Is literally killing me.

Doctor: "Have you ever thought of donating organs after your death?"

Man: " Yeah, I will donate my brain"
Doctor: "Good, all tiny bits help"

If Amazon were a human what would be it’s most important organ?

Da liver

What kind of food do organ donors eat?

Organic

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman I had been seeing told me after we had sex for the first time, "I didn't know you had such a small organ."

I told her, "I didn't know I was going to be playing Carnegie Hall."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why is an elephants leg considered a sexual organ in India?

When it steps on you, you’re fucked.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

All of the organs are deciding who should be in charge

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "I run all the body's systems, without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the heart , "I circulate oxygen and nutrients all over."

"No! I should be in charge," said the stomach, "I process the food that gives us energy."...

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

TIL that spiders reproductive organs are found in their front arms.

Spider-Man.

Human organs are the opposite of old action figures

People pay a lot more for them once you take them out to the original packaging

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[NSFW] A priest and an old blind woman who plays the church organ, are preparing for the weekly sermon.

Every week, the organ player eats a banana to keep her energy up before the crowds arrive, but she always seems to have terrible trouble peeling it.

The priest sees an opportunity and decides to swap the banana for his penis. The organ player grabs his tackle and starts fondling it.

...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The organ grinder

On a hot day an organ grinder comes into a bar with his monkey and orders a beer. As the organ grinder is sipping his beer, the monkey runs down the bar, squats over a martini, and dips his balls in to cool off.

The guy with the martini shoos the monkey away and orders another martini.
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is a man's most sensitive organ when masturbating?

His ears.

I used to think the brain was the most important organ.

Then I thought,look what’s telling me that

Did you hear about the surgeon who branded his initials on a patient's organ?

Apparently it was an inside joke

Last Halloween, Schwarzenegger, while carrying a piano over his shoulders, throws me an organ.

"What's this for?" I say.

He replies, "I'll be Bach.

And you be Beethoven."

I’m thinking about starting an underground business selling human organs...

It’s gonna take a lot of guts.

Organ meeting (different from the one when they argue who is in charge)

All the organs and body parts have a meeting. Brain informs them that once a year, they can afford a therapy for one of them, to help it function properly again. Brain then asks them if they have any problems, so it knows which one needs therapy the most.
"All the smoking completely ruined us....

I’m a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation. I cut the patient’s organ on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all.

Nobody expected the Spanish missed incision.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

which organ of the human body expands to 10 times

Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"


Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. "Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands...

They always say “1 Organ Donor will save 8 lives”...

*shouldn’t it be 7?*

Abandoned slogan: “Become an organ donor...”

“...What have you got to lose?”

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What organ can expand to 10 times it is size............

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered so the teacher picked on a random student
Little Mary stood up and said, "You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going ...

My SO has both reproductive organs

It's really the hole package.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After sex a woman tells a man that she didn't like his performance, that his organ was to small.

He looks at her and says "I didn't know I would be playing in a cathedral".

What do you call a family that gives a pipe organ to the church?

Organ donors.

The pretty lady at the DMV urged me to sign up to be an organ donor.

That's when I realized she was a girl after my own heart!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the smallest organ in a goat?

An ISIS members' dick.

Did you hear about the man who was taken off the organ transplant list?

He was so disheartened

I used to be against organ transplants,

then I had a change of heart

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the warmest organ in a dead body?

My dick

What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

**Crabs on your organ.**

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The organs in the body get into an argument...

(Heard this from my mom who works in a hospital...)

The brain says "I'm the most important. I control everything". The heart says "yeah, but without me, you'd have no blood and couldn't function". The lungs say "but without me, you'd have no oxygen in the blood". They liver says "yeah but ...

Hopefully George Michael was an organ donor...

... so on his last Christmas he gave someone his heart

My friend asked me why i didn't sign my organ donor card

I want somebody else to be able to use it after I have died.

Why does Elton John play the piano?

Because he sucks on an organ.

When I promise to come up with an organ transplant pun...

I de-liver.

Which body organ loves life the most?

The Liver

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So, the organs of the digestive system were having a discussion over which organ was the best...

The mouth says:"I think I'm the best, because I can cut up food to small pieces with my sharp teeth,"

the oesophagus says:"But I think I'm the best, because I'm so muscular,"

the stomach says: "Well I think I'm the best, because I kill bacteria and break down food with my acid."
...

My dad said I should get an organ donor card

He's a man after my own heart

Whats better than roses on a piano?

tulips on an organ...

I would never sell my organs.

If you want them, you'll have to go through me!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Someone told me flowers had sex organs...

....what a load of Poppycock!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I'm sure my dad didn't write this, but it was always one of his favorites: The organs were having a meeting...

"Did I ever tell you about the asshole?"

"What?"

"Well, the asshole was at a meeting with all of the other body parts, and they were deciding who should be in charge of the whole body, right? So first, the brain says, 'C'mon, obviously I should be the boss. I do all of the decisions, t...

My drivers license says I'm an organ donor,

but jokes on them because I own a piano.

I saw saw a few nasty surgery .gifs with open-organ operation.

I don't really like surgery videos, but there's nothing I can do, totally clips of the heart.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

During World war 2, there was a shortage of organs for transplantation...

... so one London hospital had started trying to use animal parts instead.

A man who had lost his eye, arm and his penis in the bombings was one of the first patients receiving this experimental treatment.

Instead of his lost eye, they gave him the eye of an eagle.

Instead of ...

Never perform an organ transplant on a frog.

It's very disheartening and they usually croak.

The person at the drivers license office asked me if I wanted to be an organ donor.

I said sure, and I hope my Wurlitzer goes to a good cause.

Which of our organ systems have the lowest self esteem?

The nervous system

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

All the organs have a debate about who should be in charge...

The brain said: *I should be in charge, I control all the parts and think for everyone!*

The legs said: *I should be in charge. I carry everyone around and get them to where they want to go.*

All the other organs continued with similar claims as to why they should be in charge. The hea...

Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5

Little Billy started playing organ when he was 5. He practiced and practiced every day. He had heard of this orchestra from his town that was really hard to get accepted into. This made him want to practice and practice even more. He even got private lessons with a skilled organist. Finally, the day...

One day, two organ donors fell in love with one another.

Eventually they didn't have eyes for one another

A registered organ donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime...

Because they de-liver for free.

How do reproductive organs handle fragile things?

Genitally

Played an organ for the first time today

I really enjoyed it, but my patient didn't.

What do you call an ex-comedy-central comedian's favorite organ? (x-post from /r/dadjokes)

The John O**liver**

If r/jokes was a person, what organ would he be having problems with?

De-liver

"What do you do for a living?" "I'm an organ trafficker."

"Oh my God, do you have no heart?"

"Are you criticizing me or making an order?"

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ

What's better than roses on a piano...

Tulips on an organ.

Let me know if you get it. I'm not gonna lie it took me a couple minutes when a co-worker told me this. Creds: J-mans old man.

I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Be an organ donor!"...

They were doing 20 in a 30.

I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause.

What do your internal organs call their dating life?

Their homie-hoe-status

I officially became an organ donor...

Now does anyone need a 1970s brown electric organ? It's been sitting in my living room for a long time.

Why did Bach have to sell his organ?

Why did Bach have to sell his organ?

A: Because he was baroque.

Imo everyone should consider organ donation

Ahhh actually I've had a change of heart

Small Organ

A fellow picked up a girl in a bar and took her home with him. After some preliminary drinks and talk, they got undressed, climbed into bed and generally got organized for a leg over.

After a few minutes, the girl started laughing. The fellow asked her what she found so amusing.

"You...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Sad Lives of Our Sexual Organs

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him!

A vagina has a sad life. She gets screwed regularly, her neighbor is an asshole, her best friend is a dickhead and her owner abuses her!

Celine Dion is an organ donor...

So when she dies, her heart will go on.

My patient was refused his organ transplant.

But I didn't have the heart to tell him.

My roommate is a chemistry major, and plays the organ..

One could say that he's an organic chemist.

What organ in the body never dies?

THE LIVER.

ometrist will copyright this joke. hopefully.

The human brain is an amazing organ.

It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks
a year, from before you leave the womb, right up until you find religion.

Why are organ donations low ?

Because most people have pianos

We really need to respect organ donors...

It takes guts to do what they do! (I'm sorry)

Overheard on the organ black market

"Got awful grammar? Buy this colon!"