Vegetable Garden Jokes - 11 Hilarious Vegetable Garden Jokes

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How my Husband and I Terrified a Taxi Driver

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre.

Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat ...

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

A seizure salad.

There were two neighbours named George and Ted, and they both grew vegetable gardens. George's garden was growing beautifully, the tomatoes best of all. Meanwhile, Ted's garden was growing horribly, the tomatoes worst of all.

One day, Ted asked George, "How do I make my tomatoes ripen?"

"Maybe you should try doing what I did," said George. "You may remember that a few weeks ago, my tomatoes were just as bad as yours. Then I remembered reading somewhere that all tomatoes were female, so I came up with a plan to rip...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two women are harvesting their vegetable garden.

One of them pulls up a **huge** carrot and says "This one reminds me of my husband's penis."
The other one says "Wow, that big?"
The first one replies "No. That dirty."

There was a guy who wanted a vegetable garden

Being the artistic person that he is, he decided to grow different kinds of vegetables in a four concentric circles in his garden around a trimmed, flowery bush in the center of the garden. In the outermost circle, to ward off animals, he planted chili growing plants. In the next circle, he planted ...

What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people

A vegetable garden

What do you get when weeds start growing in a vegetable garden?

Baked potatoes.

There was a hunter who lived alone in the middle of the forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.

One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he saw the river ...

What is it called when a person in a coma is surrounded by flowers?

A vegetable garden

Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail?

I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sick and tired of his busy life in the city

So he packs up everything he owns, sells his house, and buys a little place way out in the countryside in the middle of nowhere. He spends a couple of months peacefully on his own; he gets up every morning, catches some fish from the river running near his house, tends to his vegetable garden, and s...

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