Teacher: Jimmy, can you please use the word “horticulture” in a sentence?

Teacher: Jimmy, can you please use the world “horticulture” in a sentence?
Jimmy: Sure. You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

Did you boys ever hear of the planet where the inhabitants were mobile flowers?

Remarkably similar to Earthly blossoms, but they had feet and human intelligence.

The whole planet was ruled by a king called Richard the Artichoke-Heart, and one day at a court orgy his eye was caught by Fuchsia, a pale-eyed perennial. Her beauty was so great it almost made up for her stupi...

Did you know that the Vatican is interested in horticulture?

They've been cherry picking since the 4th century CE.

If you're looking for a job, get trained in horticulture

It's a growing industry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You wife was a stripper and now teaches gardening classes...

Color me impressed...

I didn’t know you could lead a horticulture

In my Horticulture class we were supposed to grow cucumbers, but I didn't pay attention to the lessons.

You could say I was in a pickle.

A tale of Middle Earth

In the land of Gondor there lived one of the most renowned gardeners in all of Middle Earth.


All the various people would come to Master Kizal for healing herbs that could be found nowhere except his gardens. The Elves would come to him for rare tree saplings and advice on how to care f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A buddy of mine makes yogurt flavored by secretions of aroused female prostitutes.

He practices horticulture.

What does a gardener and Professor Henry Higgins have in common?

They are both looking for some horticulture.

What is similar about studying farming and taking "yo mama" to the opera?

One is taking horticulture....

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