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Password Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Choose a new password :

Choose a new password :

potato

Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato

Sorry, password must contain at least one number.

1 boiled potato

Sorry, password cannot contain spaces

50fuckingboiledpotatoes

Sorry, password mu...

Me : What's the wifi password?

Bartender : you need to buy a drink first.

Me : Okay, I'll have a coke.

Bartender : Is Pepsi ok?

Me : Sure, How much is that?

Bartender : 3$

Me : There you go. So what's the wifi password?

Bartender : you need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
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Password audit

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
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Apparently you can’t use “beefstew” as a password.

It’s not stroganoff.
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Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone asks you, tell them it's 12345678
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It's okay password...

...I'm insecure too...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:
PASSWORD REJECTED.
NOT LONG ENOUGH!

Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678

Edit: Holy moly! Wake up to a shiny gold. Thank you kind stranger.

Edit2: I can make a whole wordlist with all the password in here 😁.
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What is Forrest Gump password

1forrest1
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The blonde's computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital

So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My password is pussy

Because most hackers don't get it

Enter password: ‘snowflake’

Confirm password: ‘snowflake’

Error, your passwords are not alike
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a scammer called my grandma and said he had all her passwords

she got a pen and paper and said 'thank god for that, what are they'
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex...

... they decide on a 'washing machine'.

Later in bed, that night husband says, "Washing machine."

Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head."

Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine."

Husband replies,

"Too late, it was on...

I tried changing my password to "brazildefense" but Reddit said it was too weak

hope you find it funny!
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*Creating password*

"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"

ERROR: [Password two week]


^Edited ^for ^better ^understanding
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What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password?

>!1forest1!<
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My manly password

My wife and I were trying to set up a new password for our computer.

Trying to be clever, I put "Mypenis" and my wife fell to the ground laughing hysterically because on the screen it said:

**"Error. Not long enough."**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I changed my gmail password to “my dick”

But google said it was too short.

If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days

just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.
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Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac...
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A man walks into a pub and asks the bar tender for the WiFi password.

The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first"
So the man buys a Coke.
"Ok now what's the WiFi password?"
The bar tender replies "you have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces"
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My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven
Dwarves.”
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I changed my password

It’s now “incorrect” so when you type the password it will say it’s the incorrect password

Haha hackers lose
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What’s Forest Gump’s password?

1Forest1.
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"What is your wifi password?"

"Its snowwhiteandthesevendwarves"

"Oh, why is it very long?"

"Here said I need eight characters."
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Making a new password like

Me: beefstew
Computer: Sorry, password not stroganoff.
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Trying to change my password to “MyPulloutGame” but the computer says its too weak.

All 7 of my children: “why are you crying dad?”
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I tried setting a password for my new Reddit account.

I put in “MyDick”.

It said the password was too short.
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While visiting a distant relative I hadn't visited in years, I asked my mom's cousin George for his Wi-Fi password. He said, "Start with an uppercase S, then 123."

As soon as George had left to do an errand, I tried to log onto his Wi-Fi. But every time I typed S123, it wouldn't work. After two hours of failure, George came back.

I told him, "I used the password you told me to use, but it never worked! can you log onto the Wi-Fi for me?" George typed th...
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Why do scottish people sing 'Danger Zone' when they forget their password?

Because they Kenny Loggin.
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What's the difference between your password and glass luggage?

One's case sensitive and the other's a sensitive case.
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What is OJ Simpson's computer password?

Slash Slash back-Slash escape.
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My wifi password is Thorironmanhulkscarletwitchvisionhawkeyecaptainamericathanos.

I know that's hard to remember, but it had to be at least eight characters long.
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PASSWORD PROBLEMS ( LONG ONE )

Windows : Please enter your new password.

User : cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

User : boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, the password must contain at least 1 numerical character.

User : 1 boiled cabbage

Windows : Sorry, t...
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WiFi password is Romeamsterdamparis all one word

Any capitals?

Yeah, three.
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Tried to change my password to Twilight...

...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :(
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To the person who stole the password to my cam profile:

I’m coming for you.
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I tried to sign up to a website yesterday. I put in the password 'beefstew'

But it said the password wasn't stroganoff.
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How is your password like an emotional family court judge?

They're both case sensitive.
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I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password

"Have some respect for the dead!" he said

I replied "Is that all lower case?"
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My computer password in Incorrect

That way, if I type in a different password, it reminds me ‘Your password is incorrect’

And then I remember
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My email password has been hacked.

That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
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Worst wifi password ever.

USER: What's the wifi password?

TECH: fourwordsalluppercase

USER: [typing] FOUR WORDS ALL UPPERCASE

TECH: No. It's one word, all lowercase.

USER: [typing] onewordalllowercase

TECH: [screaming] NO, it's "fourwordsalluppercase"! ONE WORD, ALL LOWERCASE!!!
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Wifi password

I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer to the hotel lounge to do some work. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What’s the WiFi password?"

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I’ll have a beer.

Bartender: We have Molso...
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I kept forgetting my passwords until someone told me to use 1Password!

That's a much easier password to remember.
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I’m retiring my favorite password: $nowWhite&T#e7Dwarves|

Security experts are recommending longer passwords, but mine was only eight characters.
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Most Confusing Password

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the p...
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Grandma's Password

My 100 year old grandma asked me to set up a security camera, so she could see who was stealing her clothes at her assisted living facility, so I brought over a wireless camera and started to install an app on her IPAD for monitoring.

I needed her Apple ID to download the app, so I asked her ...
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Password security questions for the depressed

What is the name of your least favorite child?

In what year did you abandon your dreams?

What is the maiden name of your father’s mistress?

At what age did your childhood pet run away?

What was the name of your favorite unpaid internship?

In what city did you first...
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Netflix is cracking down on password sharing as it turns out one-third of users share logins

Recent news from the company shows they are not worried about the other two-thirds who are Redditors with no friends
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Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.

I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
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E-commerce company Alibaba Group announced that they are developing a password manager. Jack Ma has revealed that it will be open-source, a first for the company.

The product will tentatively be named OpenSesame.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Password reset

A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.

"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"

"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."

"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"...

I tried to use the password "beefstew" for my iTunes account.

But Siri said it wasn't stroganoff.
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What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?

A battering R.A.M.
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CREATE PASSWORD -

"123Bob".

Password must contain no names, be complex and have over 50 characters.

"GameOfThrones"

Password accepted.
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I asked the CIA for my lost GMail password...

They sent it to me via my smart TV
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Password to Heaven

A husband and wife involved in an accident dies one after the other and arrived at the Pearly Gates. He meets St. Peter and asks how to get to heaven. St. Peter replies, “God, is really a loving God and wants everybody to go to heaven, so I will just ask you to spell correctly a simple word and you ...
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X Æ A-12 : What's the WiFi password?

Elon : Tom
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~Enter new password.

- chicken.

~Password must contain at least one capital.

- chicken kiev
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A blonde's office computer had technical issues

IT support came over to the desk and said he needed password to access her account.

"It's 'MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'" she replied.

"A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?" the support dude asked.

She went "Because computer said the passwor...
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