UPJOKE
wordauthenticationusercountersignloginsecretcharacterparoleunixe-mailusernamehackerentropyurlserver

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Choose a new password :

Choose a new password :

potato

Sorry, password must contain at least 8 letters.

boiled potato

Sorry, password must contain at least one number.

1 boiled potato

Sorry, password cannot contain spaces

50fuckingboiledpotatoes

Sorry, password mu...

Bloody Passwords

PASSWORD PROBLEMS:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
...

Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888..

So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and a wife were trying to set up a new password for their computer.

The husband said, "Put MYPENIS."

The wife fell on the ground laughing because on screen was an error message...

"Error. Not long enough."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex...

... they decide on a 'washing machine'.

Later in bed, that night husband says, "Washing machine."

Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head."

Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine."

Husband replies,

"Too late, it was on...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Struggles of passwords

"Set password:"

carrot

"Password must be at least 8 characters."

boiled carrot

"Password must contain at least 1 number."

1 boiled carrot

"Password cannot contain spaces."

50boiledcarrots

"Password must contain at least 1 capital."

50FUC...

Trying to change my password to “MyPulloutGame” but the computer says its too weak.

All 7 of my children: “why are you crying dad?”

The blonde's computer password had to be eight characters long and include at least one capital

So she made it "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyAlbany."

Whats Forrest gump's email password?

1FORREST1

What is OJ Simpson's computer password?

Slash Slash back-Slash escape.

My email password has been hacked.

That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

Apparently you cannot use 'beef stew' as a password

it's not Stroganoff

I needed a password eight characters long.

I went with *SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarves*

To the person who stole the password to my cam profile:

I’m coming for you.

My wifi password is Thorironmanhulkscarletwitchvisionhawkeyecaptainamericathanos.

I know that's hard to remember, but it had to be at least eight characters long.

Passwords NSFW

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 90 days and has expired - you must register a new one."

roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." ...

My wifi password is 2444666668888888

Just to clarify, it’s: one two three four five six seven eight

Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**

When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*

A man walks into a pub and asks the bar tender for the WiFi password.

The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first"
So the man buys a Coke.
"Ok now what's the WiFi password?"
The bar tender replies "you have to buy a drink first, all lower case, no spaces"

My computer password in Incorrect

That way, if I type in a different password, it reminds me ‘Your password is incorrect’

And then I remember

I’m retiring my favorite password: $nowWhite&T#e7Dwarves|

Security experts are recommending longer passwords, but mine was only eight characters.

What’s the Wi-Fi password?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

OK, I’ll have a Coke.

Bartender: Three dollars.

There you go. So what’s the Wi‑Fi password?

Bartender: “You need to buy a drink first.” No spaces, all lowercase.

I used "MyDick" as a password and got this error:

"Try something longer"

E-commerce company Alibaba Group announced that they are developing a password manager. Jack Ma has revealed that it will be open-source, a first for the company.

The product will tentatively be named OpenSesame.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

last night I was setting up a password for an account on something

I entered in "my dick", at first I thought the password was ok but then the website told me to try something longer. at this moment I wasn't upset I just wanted to know how they knew.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My password is pussy

Because most hackers don't get it

While visiting a distant relative I hadn't visited in years, I asked my mom's cousin George for his Wi-Fi password. He said, "Start with an uppercase S, then 123."

As soon as George had left to do an errand, I tried to log onto his Wi-Fi. But every time I typed S123, it wouldn't work. After two hours of failure, George came back.

I told him, "I used the password you told me to use, but it never worked! can you log onto the Wi-Fi for me?" George typed th...

Yo mama so stupid, her password requirement needed to be 8 characters long so she typed in

"Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".

Man, making a password is so frustrating

I put in "beefstew" and the computer said it was not stroganoff.

It's okay password...

...I'm insecure too...

Enter password: ‘snowflake’

Confirm password: ‘snowflake’

Error, your passwords are not alike

How do you come up with a secure password to protect yourself against hackers?

Just make it the last 10 digits of pi.

(Credit to my cousin)

Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678

Edit: Holy moly! Wake up to a shiny gold. Thank you kind stranger.

Edit2: I can make a whole wordlist with all the password in here 😁.

Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.

I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."

Someone in the funeral asks for the Wi-Fi password

"You should respect the dead"

"All together and lower case?"

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing as it turns out one-third of users share logins

Recent news from the company shows they are not worried about the other two-thirds who are Redditors with no friends

I changed all my passwords to “Kenny”

Now I have all Kenny Logins.

I recently tried to change my password to “Fortnight”

Unfortunately, the password was too weak.

*Creating password*

"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"

ERROR: [Password two week]


^Edited ^for ^better ^understanding

Fake out clean jokes

Some of my favorite jokes are ones where the set-up sounds like it's going to be offensive, but the punch line takes it back to clean town. My top 3 examples:

I like my email passwords like I like my ladies... Same one for the last 10 years.

If it wasn't for the Arabs, we'd have never ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to use mypenis as a password.

It was too short.

>’Enter new password‘

~ 'chicken'
> ‘Password must contain a capital’
~ 'chickenkiev'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m going to make all of my passwords “fuck you”

That way, I can set the password hint as “fuck you” and no one would suspect a thing.

Worst wifi password ever.

USER: What's the wifi password?

TECH: fourwordsalluppercase

USER: [typing] FOUR WORDS ALL UPPERCASE

TECH: No. It's one word, all lowercase.

USER: [typing] onewordalllowercase

TECH: [screaming] NO, it's "fourwordsalluppercase"! ONE WORD, ALL LOWERCASE!!!

When Orion set up his new computer, he had to add a password

He wanted to put "my belt" but it would always show up as ***

I tried changing my password to "brazildefense" but Reddit said it was too weak

hope you find it funny!

Why did Gmail reject the password ‘14days’?

It was two weak!

Hacker Jesus

“Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man how to phish and he’ll steal your bank password” - Hacker Jesus

If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days

just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.

X Æ A-12 : What's the WiFi password?

Elon : Tom

Wifi password

I was doing an overnight at a hotel away from home. I took my computer to the hotel lounge to do some work. I sat down at the bar and I asked the bartender, "What’s the WiFi password?"

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Me: Okay, I’ll have a beer.

Bartender: We have Molso...

An IT guy goes to see their dentist..

Dentist: Have you been flossing regularly?
IT Guy: Have you been changing your passwords and using unique passwords for different logins regularly?

Just tried to change my password to..

Just tried to change my password to.. 'The_Last_Jedi,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there are too many useless characters.

"Sir, I know you are having trouble typing in your password." "Please can we try again. Your password is capital A as in Apple, lowercase T as in Tom, the number 4, Q as in Cucumber... "

This is something I actually said during my call center days. The call screeners wouldn't let me forget for months.

I forgot the Netflix password.

Who here remembers it?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I changed all my passwords to Bigtitties

I've mammerized all of them

Password to Heaven

A husband and wife involved in an accident dies one after the other and arrived at the Pearly Gates. He meets St. Peter and asks how to get to heaven. St. Peter replies, “God, is really a loving God and wants everybody to go to heaven, so I will just ask you to spell correctly a simple word and you ...

I sure like that my car insurance requires a 10 character password.

I sure would hate it if someone ..... paid my car insurance?

All my passwords are protected

by amnesia.

"I know what Daddy's password is!"

A child runs happily and says "Mommy! I know what Daddy's password is!"

Mom says: "That's nice dear. What's Daddy's password?"

Child says: It's an easy one! It is asterisk asterisk asterisk asterisk asterisk asterisk !"

Computer: Choose a password

Me: hi-hat


Computer: Password cannot contain symbols

A new bar opened up down the road that offered free Wi-Fi. I asked the bar keeper for the password and he said "two drink minimum"

So I quickly downed 2 shots and again asked for the password. He said "twodrinkminimum: all one word"

Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?

So you can log in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After the penis said the secret password, what did the bladder say to him?

Urine.



(NSFW because penis)

Followed the instructions for my password but they didn’t work

It said, “Type Password”

So I entered, “Password”

Then it told me, “Your Password is Incorrect”

So I entered, “Incorrect”

To which it said, “Try Again”

So I typed, “Again”

But now for some reason I can’t do anything because it thinks my account name is “Lock...

Thinking of changing my passwords to Covid 19...

Because no one is capable of solving it!

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