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Unveiled Jokes

Nike have unveiled a pair of trainers made from pineapple leather to appeal to Vegans...

They tried other fruits, but reviews said the ones made from bananas felt too much like slippers.

A man had his portrait unveiled by a successful artist. The man was most unhappy with the result.

Artist: Are you happy with it?

Subject: I don’t think it does me justice!

Artist: it’s not justice you need, it’s mercy.

Werner Heisenberg just unveiled a new car...

It comes with a GPS or a speedometer, but not both.

The Australian government recently unveiled their plans for a 1 dollar coin.

While some critics questioned the economic viability, the kangaroonie will start circulation next year, according to a government spokesperson.

In light of the customers' data breach Capital One unveiled a new slogan today:

Who's in your wallet?

Researchers recently unveiled a device will launch stinging insects at high speeds.

It has beegun.

Today, I saw a painting unveiled at a museum, but it was merely a red dot on canvas.

It must have been a period piece.

An old Soviet joke..

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Nadezhda Krupskaya (Lenin's wife) naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. One guest...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got my son a bicycle for his birthday once.

I bought the bike from a reputed bicycle store and it was top of the line.

When my son's birthday came around, I unveiled it to him.

My son immediately started to cry and scream at me.

Just because he's in a wheelchair doesn't excuse the fact that he's an ungrateful little shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

church bulletin bloopers

*These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:*
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Julia was organizing a cat show

Julia was organizing a cat show and needed a trophy for the first prize. So she contacted a sculptor to create a trophy that resembled a beautiful persian cat.

Julia and the sculptor got together to discuss the plans for this trophy. She wanted the base to be made of the finest white marble w...

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