UPJOKE
futureupcomingcomingoutgoingapproachingextrovertedsociableavailableawaiteddefinitiveimminentlatestongoingunderwaydetailed

Forthcoming Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blind Pilots

Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.


Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve had three orgasms today.

The next one is forthcoming.

Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding.

“‘Och, it's all going magic," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already, the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night."


Archie nods approvingly.


"Hell, I've even bought a kilt to be married in," continues Jock.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know? (NSFW)

Did you know that a man who hides things from his partner can only ejaculate three times? I'm afraid that's just how things are...

...until he's forthcoming.

A man walks into the Election Office.....

and says to the receptionist: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be an Independent candidate."

The receptionist replied: "Certainly, sir. Please fill in this form.''

He was filling the form until he came to the question - ''Are you circumcised?'' So...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Look, it’s not exactly a secret how bad I am at sex with three other people at the same time.

I’ve been very forthcoming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is late for an important meeting.

But he can't find a place to park. In desperation, he begins to pray. "Please Lord, if you help me find a parking stall right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday,I will stop having sex with my neighbor, I will be honest and forthcoming with my wife and will never lie again!" A moment later, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An attractive woman is sitting alone at the bar and sees a man with a military-style haircut sitting by himself at the other end, nursing his drink.

The woman notices that the man is looking glum and hasn't made any attempt to speak to anyone besides the barkeep. She takes a swig of liquid courage, saunters down the bar, and sits next to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you a soldier? I couldn't help but notice your haircut!" The woman ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.