Comer Jokes - 11 Hilarious Comer Jokes

As I was walking along a city street, a man pulled a knife and tried to jump me. "I'll have you know, I've beaten off two men at once," I warned him. "I take on all comers!"

Anyway, we're dating now.

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A man is sitting at a bar. Another gentleman walks up and sits next to him. The first man looks at the new comer and says to him “did You know this bar is so high up in the tower that you can jump out the window and the gusts will lift you up and float you right back in the window?”

The new guy looks at him, astonished at this. The first guy says “watch I’ll show you”, takes a shot of whiskey, runs over to the window and jumps out. Thirty seconds later he floats right back up and through the window and walks back over to the Other gentleman.

Amazed, the other guy says “I...

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at a comunitty outhouse while camping

A man is taking a piss when another man enters. Shuffling to do his business, the new comer acidently drops a $5 bill down into the muck below.

Noticing the original occupant says "that sux" but is flabbergasted as the new man pulls out his wallet and drops a $20 down there as well. "Why'd ...

A bar was hosting the ‘Unbeatable’ bucking bronco with a $1000 prize for anyone that lasted more than 7 seconds without being bucked off

The night had seen all comers dispatched off the bull with ease, when a scrawny little man stepped up.

The bull started its revolutions - 1, 2, 3, 4 seconds - most expected him to come off.

5, 6 seconds - the crowd takes notice and starts cheering him on as he hangs on for dear life. <...

Password to Heaven

A husband and wife involved in an accident dies one after the other and arrived at the Pearly Gates. He meets St. Peter and asks how to get to heaven. St. Peter replies, “God, is really a loving God and wants everybody to go to heaven, so I will just ask you to spell correctly a simple word and you ...

Spanish is a beautiful language.

You don't say "I love you" in Spanish, you say "Yo quiero comer culo" which translates to "you are the light of my life." I think it is one of the most beautiful things to say to someone.

A boy asks a girl to prom

So there's this boy in highschool, around 16 years old and he very nervously and timidly asks this beautiful girl out to prom. Out of his league and the most beautiful I'm the school. He's shocked and quite startled when he hears "id love to go!" Leave her lips.
Short on time with days till or, h...

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The professor of statistics and logistics.

So a friend told me this joke. It was created by Norm MacDonald. Hopefully I don't butcher it. Also, I'm on mobile, so I apologize if it's weirdly formatted.

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A new guy moves into a cul de sac. One of the neighbors comes up to him and starts small talk.

"So what...

A politician is leaving office...

...and shaking the hand of the fresh face. The old bear motions the new comer to come closer - to exchange words.

"You're a public figure now. You must act in a most respectable way, you need to care for your people - not so much that they need you, but enough that they don't forget who you ...

This one is number 78.

A man walks into a pub, sits at the bar and orders a drink. Over in the corner he notices a group of friends drinking and laughing.

He see one of the friends shout “13!” and then the rest of the group bursts out laughing. A bit later another in the group stifles laughter as he calls out “37!...

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Johnny is a carpenter

One day Johnny is bothering his mother around the house, so she suggests he go watch the workers who were building a house across the street.

Johnny does so, and when he returns, his mother asks him if he's learned anything.

Yeah, says Johnny. "Some asshole made the door opening too ti...

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