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Foreigner Jokes

The troubles of foreigners in Canada

A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.

"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."

"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

"Wait a...

Bloody foreigner. Coming over here...

Wanting to know what love is

Two guys were working at the airport, when a foreigner walked up to them...

He asked them in Spanish, where the luggage pick up was.

Neither could understand him, so they raised their hands and shook their heads that they don't understand.

He asked again, in German.

Again, the two workers did not understand him.

He tried in Polish and then aga...

A foreigner enters a country and gets a taxi.

On his way to the hotel he points at a tall building and asks the driver,'How long did it take to build that building?'. The driver responds, 'Two years.'. 'TWO YEARS! In my country it would have taken only Two months',The foreigner said.

After a while, the foreigner again asked,'How lon...

Mandatory temperature checks will be required for attending the Foreigner reunion concert

If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call sex with an immigrant?

Foreignercation

Foreigner-cation, for those not seeing it. Props to ImMrSneezyAchoo.

Foreigner??

I can barely fit three!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lady sitting across the room from a foreigner (NSFW)

Lady ,"did you just Jizz in my eye???"
foreign Man "I am sorry madam, I am not used to your customs here,
you see, I come from afar"

A foreigner asked an Indian man

"Why Indian Women have Red
Dot on their forehead ?"

Indian man replied,
"Because they Record everything.."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Foreigner buys a hotdog

A man from overseas comes for a vacation to the United States for the first time with his cousin. One day, while walking through the park they see a food cart with the word "Hotdogs" on the side. Since the man had never had a hotdog before, he decides to wait in line to buy one. When it's his turn t...

Found an Funny Indian Joke and tried to translate it.

An Indian politician was visiting a foreigner politician. He saw foreigner politicians had a big house and 2 luxury cars. He askes him how is it possible as the salary of a politician is not that much. Foreigner politician took Indian politician on drive and said

"do you see this 10 lanes hig...

If foreigners are upset to have had their visas cancelled...

Why don't they just apply for MasterCards instead?

The band members of Foreigner have been in quarantine since this pandemic started

They have fevers of 103F

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a foreigner, why do people make fun of the way I curse?

This one guy at work in particular. He's a scumbag, a real piece of fuck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married couple was on holiday in a remote part of the Arab country side. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Arabian accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

So the couple walked in and the shopkeeper says to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They have special power. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the shopkeeper claimed, but he...

A foreigner is talking to his friend in India.

He says, "Wow! This is a cool country! Not like my boring state. This is not my state."

And an Indian guy looks to him and says, "Namaste."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A foreigner accepts an ad for a roomate position...

An ad is put out by a young couple for a roomate position. After a while, a foreigner not from any country nearby accepts. Now, the man has great credit, no criminal record, and perfect English. He's accepted immediately. Only, there's one problem.

In his home country, the foreigner had no co...

two foreigners in america are applying for citizenship

They're lined up outside the Citizenship and immigration office, along with many others, not wanting to risk deportation now that Trump is in office.

>Guy #1: I've had enough of this waiting, save my place, I'm going to shoot Donald Trump myself.

several hours later he returns.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer in France sees a foreigner bending down next to the river.

The foreigner leans over and voraciously scoops up water from the river to drink using his right hand. He gulps down the water hungrily, much to the farmer's shock.

The farmer runs over to the foreigner and tries to warns him in French: "Monsieur, ce n'est pas sain! Mes animaux pisse et merde...

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City

A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked. "Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man. Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug. The foreigner continues with the same result ...

Foreigners

This is joke is based on a real-life incident as told to me by a colleague.

A Silicon Valley IT professional from India invites his parents to visit US of A and stay with his family. The apartment complex where the IT guy was staying was predominantly inhabited by Indian origin (desi). Durin...

What kind of cars do foreigners drive?

4Runners.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are walking along the beach one day and come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.

"I give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total" says the Genie.
The Irishman says "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I wish all the oceans to be full of fish for all eternity and a fleet of fishing boats to catch them."
So, wit...

All the foreigners know the USA is still number 1...

when you dial from overseas.

Thought I’d try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.

Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.

As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, “Which part of the dog did you get?”

Why do schizophrenic foreigners always get confused with the Israel-Palestine conflict?

Because they never know what is real and what is not.

People are worried about foreigners in this country.

I've done my own research and there's so many more in other countries.

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