How do you get 11 million followers?

You run through Africa with a bottle of water

When Moses came down the mountain, he noticed his followers had bad breath.

So he gave them the Ten Commandmints

God, bored one day, decides to visit one of his most loyal followers and grant him one wsh.

Follower: Wow, anything I want!?!?

God: Yes, as long as it is in reason.

Follower: OK, can I get a highway from my house to Hawaii?

God: I'm sorry, that would interfere with other people and nature, so I'm afraid I cannot do that.

Follower: Alright, I wish to be able to u...

How do you get 2 million followers

Run around brooklyn with a popeyes chicken sandwich

Twelve of Jesus's closest followers have been accused of slaughtering a herd of cattle.

Police are treating it as apostle bull murder.

Catholicism has 1.2 billion followers around the globe, second only to Islam with 1.8 billion

But that's okay because the Catholic church doesn't mind coming in a little behind.

Jesus Spoke to his Followers

Jesus spoke to his followers from atop a podium.

"Come forth, and win eternal life!"



John came 5th and won a toaster.

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