How does God make money off his followers?

By making a prophet.

How do you get a million followers?

You run through Africa with a bottle of water

God, bored one day, decides to visit one of his most loyal followers and grant him one wsh.

Follower: Wow, anything I want!?!?

God: Yes, as long as it is in reason.

Follower: OK, can I get a highway from my house to Hawaii?

God: I'm sorry, that would interfere with other people and nature, so I'm afraid I cannot do that.

Follower: Alright, I wish to be able to u...

How do you get 2 million followers

Run around brooklyn with a popeyes chicken sandwich

When Moses came down the mountain, he noticed his followers had bad breath.

So he gave them the Ten Commandmints

Proud of myself, just came up with this stinker: Why did Twitter shut down Megatron's account?

Because it was discovered that most of his followers were auto bots.

What did Jesus say to his followers at his last meal ?

Don't cross me please.

Twelve of Jesus's closest followers have been accused of slaughtering a herd of cattle.

Police are treating it as apostle bull murder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Each 2020 hopeful Presidential candidate was asked to reveal their private reddit account to prove their values.

Bernie Sanders was insisting that the top 1% of reddit had way too many coins and wanted to force them to share gold more often.

Pete Buttigieg basically followed all of Bernie's posts and talked trash.

Joe Biden was just crossposting old posts of Obama's and saying how awesome they we...

Catholicism has 1.2 billion followers around the globe, second only to Islam with 1.8 billion

But that's okay because the Catholic church doesn't mind coming in a little behind.

Why is Voldemort on Instagram but not in Facebook.

Because he has followers, not friends.

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