A cosmonaut crash lands

A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush hospital clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is really ba...

A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon were discussing religion.

A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon were discussing religion. The brain surgeon was a Christian but the cosmonaut was an atheist. The cosmonaut said, "I've been out in space many times but I've never seen God or angels." The brain surgeon said, "And I've operated on many clever brains bu...

Why do Russian Cosmonauts only drink black coffee?

Because in space, no one here use cream.

Why were cosmonauts on the Russian space station always bumping into things?

Because objects in Mir are closer than they appear.

A couple of cosmonauts were heading to the moon when the unexpectedly turned around

Turns out the moon was full

What's the difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut?

Astronauts take it slow, cosmonauts are always rushin'

A cosmonaut's sob story

I always knew that I wanted to be as astronaut , even when I was a little boy. However, I knew my father would not be supportive of me because he would always tell me "The sky's the limit!"

What comes up but never comes down?

Russian Cosmonauts

Why Soviets never went to the moon?

They were afraid the cosmonauts wouldn't want to come back.

This is naut, ok?

If America has 'astronauts' and Russia has 'cosmonauts', does Denmark have 'deeznauts'?

Communist Russia wins the space race

Teacher: Ivan, tell us, who was the first country to land people on the Moon?
Ivan: It was our mother Russia, Comrade!
Teacher: Very good, Ivan! And what did the first Russian cosmonauts find on the Moon?
Ivan: The American flag, Comrade!

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