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Courier Jokes

My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday

So the courier guy knocked on the door today to check if we were ok.

What courier do terrorists use?

TNT

Just heard that there will be a round of applause for courier and delivery drivers tomorrow

It will be some time between 9am and 5pm.

I used to be a motorcycle courier...

Man those things are heavy..

The Chinese government is trying to help working women by providing breast milk couriers...

The couriers take the breast milk from the factory where the mother works to the factory where the baby works.

What do you call two couriers that are no longer friends?

Postmates

Found this one on Wikipedia of all places

Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'...

The courier delivered only half of my grizzly outfit today...

So I choked him with my bear hands.

TIFU on the first day of my courier job

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OP didn't deliver

Archangel Starbase, Status Report

Archangel Starbase is operational.

Courier/cargo wing, Gabriel Bay, operating at 90% of capacity.

Medical/Search & Rescue wing, Raphael Bay, ready at three minutes’ notice 24/7.

Military wing, Michael Bay, keeps exploding.

A joke that nobody at my band camp enjoyed.

Why did the courier have to quit the band?

Because he couldn't CARRY a tune.

What was old is new

A man living in ancient Egypt had a great idea for a business: he would pay couriers to deliver messages professionally inscribed on stone slabs to people all over the kingdom. For a small fee, people could have an important message written down and sent anywhere on the Nile. It swiftly took off a...

During this pandemic be sure to avoid postal workers...

They’re all couriers.

Sgt Joe Friday was staking out a building being used by a suspected bank robber

When a witness he questioned a day earlier came up and gave him a picture of the robber's accomplice and a list of 3 banks they were going to rob. Joe Friday knew he had to get this information back to the police station. The only problem was the police station was 10 miles in the other direction an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Letter to God

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't recei...

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