This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big st...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Always drive in reverse when you're drunk (True story)?

This is a true story. Many many years ago, before drink driving laws were as strong as they are today, a friend of my Dads, lets call him Dave, was leaving the pub, keys in hand and a hefty number of pints on board.

"Jesus, am I all right to drive" he wonders as he misses the ignition with th...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Piss Poor Luck

A guy walks into a bar, and slams down a wad of cash and tells the bartender he's on a lucky streak all night. After a few drinks, the guy asks if anyone in the bar are willing to bet hard cash, and the Bartender points him to an area in the back of the bar.


A little over an hour later, t...

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