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Tourism Jokes

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Space Tourism

One of the car hire companies was looking at diversification, to be able to better cope in the next pandemic.

They started getting interested in the space tourism market, currently dominated by companies such as Blue Origin, Virgin Galactic and SpaceX. They needed a hook to make them stand o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tourism ad for Holland: Come, have sex and get stoned.

Below that
Tourism ad for Saudi Arabia: Ditto

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My grandpa must be really into sex tourism

He keeps going on and on about "youth in Asia."

I started investing in Egyptian tourism

Until I realized it was just a pyramid scheme

Tourism and Immigration

A man dies and goes to heaven. After several years in heaven, he gets bored and decides to go on vacation to see Hell.

So he packs his bags and goes on the trip. Upon arrival in Hell, he's taken on a tour. It's the most amazing place he's ever seen: warm, but not hot, the women are beautiful...

How is the tourism industry doing in Baghdad?

Boomin'.

Customs agent: Welcome to Belarus!

Customs agent: Are you here for business or tourism?

Russian: Business

Customs agent: Occupation?

Russian: Yes

The governor of Florida had enough

The governor of Florida had enough of the Florida jokes. It was affecting their tourism and he was always made fun of at the annual governor softball tournament. He sat in his office all day and thought of ways how to change this.

One day, the governor of Alabama called. It was a social call...

Everything you need to know about Australia

I REALLY hope these are true


These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for stupid questions!)


\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\...

The world is literally ending.

Well, at least for the Caribbean tourism business.

I would say that the Canadian immigration website will crash again...

But it’s blocked, unless you upgrade to the Tourism Package™ for just $4.99 a month!

Unusual Ornithological Behaviour

The Department of Tourism clean-up crew recently found over 200 dead crows off and along interstate 93 near Boston and there was concern that they may have died from some sort of Covid/Avian Flu.

A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the pro...

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So there's this guy, let's call him Paul Yankee.

So Paul Yankee had been dating this girl Wendy Norris for a few years, so he finally proposed and she said yes.

Fast forward to the wedding and they are the happiest people to ever exist. Mr Paul Yankee and Mrs Wendy Yankee decided to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. As a surprise for his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wants to profess his love to his girlfriend.

A man wants to profess his love to his girlfriend, Wendy, so he decides to get her name tattooed on his penis.

After it heals he shows her the work. She says "But it just says W Y."

"Play with it a bit.."

Sure enough he gets hard and she can see her name spelled out clear as day...

So the dude dies and gets to the Heaven's Gate...

... where St. Peter tells him that he didn't do anything particularly good or bad in life, so he actually gets to choose whether he goes to Hell or Heaven. He's even kind enough to offer him a tour to both places, so he has a better idea.

So first, he starts with Heaven. Which is really nice...

Eldarion, son of Aragorn, High King of the Reunited Kingdom, was bored.

In a time of peace, there was not much to do, and he was long tired of his jesters. So he called for all of his subordinates, and announced a new prestigious title to which all are given candidacy; the title of “Duke of the Best Joke”.

 

Not wanting to disappoint, Finance Mini...

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

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