UPJOKE
trainprocessionjourneytrekbusvantravelwagon traincamperexcursionlocomotewagonprairie schoonermotorcadeconvoy

Caravan Jokes

A guy is driving down the road when he spots a gypsy caravan with a sign outside saying, "readings £10"

Thinking, "this could be a laugh", he pulls over and enters the caravan.

The gypsy immediately grabs his hands, looks at them for a couple of seconds and stares into his eyes.

She says, "sweet child o' mine, livin' on a prayer ,stairway to heaven, don't dream it's over."

"wow"...

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.

The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."

The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.

The old country man then goes, "Tim...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave took his wife Sheila and her sister Mandy away for a weekend in the caravan.

"Any chance of a blow job?" Dave whispered to his wife when they were in bed.

"For fuck's sake, Dave!" she hissed, "Mandy's in the bed over there!"

"Good point," he said, "Mandy? Any chance of a blow job?"

Can’t wait to see the new movie “Caravan Park”

The trailers look amazing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A caravan is crossing the desert. The elephant, walking beside the camel, asks "why are your tits on your back?"

The camel, slightly bemused, replies "What a strange question coming from someone with a dick on his face!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."
"Yep," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.
"Yep again”, says the duck, "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly, sorry about that”, says the barman as he pulls th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The World's Oldest Golf Joke

Joe and his buddy go golfing every Saturday.

One day, while they are on the third hole, a funeral caravan passes by on the adjacent street. Joe stops playing, takes off his hat and stands quietly as the procession passes.

His buddy says, "Wow, man, I didn't know you cared about funera...

I hate static caravans

Every time I put my key in the door, my hair sticks up.

Shakespeare died on same day as Billy Bub, and are at the pearly gates.

(I heard this joke around 1980, so I can't claim ownership)

St. Peter at the pearly gates says, "I'm busy, so I'm considering 2 admissions at a time. Tell me a good poem using the word 'Timbuktu'. Whoever has the better poem gets in."

Shakespeare smiles broadly and says, "I am a great ...

President Trump was told there were at least 12 Brazilians in the migrant caravan headed to the Southern border...

Mr President turned to his Defense Secretary and whispered: "how much is a brazillion?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

William and Shakespeare...

Were traveling together and came across a small village. Both being poets, the crowd of people wanted to know whom was the best poet and conducted a contest amongst William and Shakespeare. Shakespeare, with smugness, decided to go first. The mayor gave Shakespeare the word, "Timbuktu" to come up wi...

My buddy has a sign in his driveway that says "Chevy parking only". I drive a Grand Caravan.

Needless to say, I've been Dodging the guy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George Washington and his men are looking for a place to stay one night after a long fight against the British...

After marching through the woods for some hours, they find a farm. Washington knocks on the door and the farmer answers. Washington says "excuse me sir, I'm sorry to bother you. My men and I have been fighting the British all day, and are very tired. Can you put us up for the night?" The farmer look...

Robbie Burns

As Robbie was looking for a place to stay the night, he came up to a farm.

The farmer curious of the bards talent, said "you can stay the night if you pen a better song than mine, using Timbuktu."


Robbie agreed, and the farmer started


"Stretching across the desert sands...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not the top shelf

So, the story goes that my (admittedly funny) ex boyfriend met a very attractive lady back in 1992 who worked at a large amusement park, as a stall holder of the type with the guns and the targets and the huge adult size cuddly bears on the top prize shelf. You know the kind, right?

However s...

Shakespeare and Lord Byron at the gates of Heaven

Shakespeare and Lord Byron get to the gates of heaven at the same time but St Peter regrets to confirm that they only have one vacancy left. He decides to let them compete for the one spot in a poem writing competition. He gives the task to include "Timbuktu" in an improvised poem. Lord Byron goes f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young Jimmy got mixed in with a bad crowd and found himself headed to jail. Being his first time, he was a little intimidated by the things he’d heard, so he was looking for some advice.

His uncle was a colorful fellow and a world traveler, and Jimmy figured he probably knew his way out of a dangerous situation better than anyone else he knew. After Jimmy explained his predicament, the uncle said:

“Yeah, I reckon I have some advice. Some years ago I was overseas riding throu...

A caravan of settlers were on the Oregon Trail

Their Indian guide repeatedly amazed them with his ability to find game and avoid hostile tribes. One day, he reigned in his horse and jumped down and put his head to the ground.
“Buffalo come,” was all he said.
“How can you know that?” Asked one of the amazed settlers.
He looked up and rep...

It's down to two guys at a job interview.

Both of the men interviewing are equally qualified all the way down to eagle scout so the interviewer has an idea. "The one of you that can give me the better poem ending in Timbuktu gets the job." The first guy stands up and says, "Out across the desert sand went a lonely caravan. Underneath the...

Timbuktu

The National poetry Contest had come down to semi-finals between a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were both given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”

First to recite his poe...

My wife and I went to see a realtor.

"Have you guys considered moving houses?" he asked.

I said, "No, we don't like caravans."

An American Professor of Literature from Harvard and a hillbilly.

The 2 finalists for this prestigious annual poem contest was an American Professor of Literature from Harvard and a hillbilly.

The rules were simple, come up with an poem on the spot that ends in tim-buc-tu.

The professor turned in his first. It read:

As I walked across the burn...

In the stock market today

Helium was up, feathers were down, paper was stationary, Fluorescent lights were down in light trading, knives were up sharply, pencil were down a few points, elevators were up and down, escalators experienced a slight decline, mining equipment hit rock bottom, the market for raisins dried up, vacuu...

A father passing by his sons bedroom was

astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and...

Timbuktu

This one I got from Playboys joke page in the late 80s.

Two guys with identical education and experience were applying for the same marking position in a company. The hiring manager could not decide which one to give the job offer to, so he calls them both in for a final interview at the sam...

The man at the circus.

A man is going to the circus to look for work. The man finds the manager in his caravan and asks him if he could get a job at the circus.

Oh, so you're looking to join the circus then? Tell me, what can you do?

I can mimic a bird, the man says proudly.

Hah, scoffs the manager,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WHY PEOPLE HATE SCHOOL RE-UNIONS

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey...

At the national poetry contest finals,...

The final two contestants were a harvard educated english professor and a redneck from the hills of Alabama. The final task was to write a 4 line poem containing the word timbuktu. Each finalist was given 5 minutes to come up with a poem

After they were given some time to think, the finals ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man gets lost in the desert.

He has no compass and he has lost his sense of direction.

Suddenly he sees a caravan on the horizon. He jumps, shouts and waves his arms to get their attention, and, oh joy, they notice him and move in his direction.

But his happiness is short lived, as the travelers turn out to be m...

Timbuktu

From my 80 year old Granddad:

Two finalists in a contest, One a college grad and one a high school drop out, were to write a poem in 3 minutes. The only requirement was that it ended in "Timbuktu". The college grad wrote his and told it to the judges;

Slowly across the desert sand,
...

A poet and a Newfie die

They are met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter says that to get in they must make a poem that says Timbuktu. For the poet this was simple and he said ; I was walking in the desert sand. When I came across a caravan. Camels walking two by two. Destination Timbuktu

For the Newfie thi...

The National poetry contest

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the conte...

The Rhyming Competition

The was a very classy rhyming competition and after a long day of working through the brackets there were only two contestants left.
While his opponent waited in a sound-proof room backstage, the defending champion takes the podium. His name is Preston Hughs, a scholar, gentleman, and has many of...

There was once a poetry competition...

and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.

For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem usi...

A Harvard grad with a PhD and a redneck with a 5th grade education are in a contest

This was one of my dad's favorites, and I've never seen it here. This is basically how he told it:

A Harvard grad with a PhD (we'll call him John) and a redneck with a 5th grade education (we'll call him Bubba) are in a contest, and at the end of this contest (the type doesn't matter), their ...

Coulda been worse.

A father walks past his son's room and to his astonishment he sees that the bed is neatly made and the room is all tidied up.

Then he saw an envelope on the pillow.

It's addressed to "Dad".

He picked it up, tore it open and read the note:

"Dear Dad, it is with great regre...

World's smartest man contest.

There was a world's smartest man contest held and only two contestants remained. A book smart college man, and a country fellow from the west. The panel of 3 judges gave the contestants a variety of challenging questions and both always answered correctly.

The contest had been going for day...

Bad, long, and written by Russian who doesn’t know English grammar

Old poor man is traveling on his old camel through the desert under intense heat

His camel had no opportunity to drink for too long, and so it is very tiered.

Then, a caravan of camels loaded with various goods, food and water and leaded by a strong young man catches up with an old m...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving through a desert.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving through a desert when their car breaks down. They decide they must walk across the desert. The Englishman takes an umbrella out of the boot and begins walking. The Irishman takes out his flask, fills it with whisky and follows the Englishman. The...

A duck walks into a bar...

... and walks up to the bartender to order a pint of lager and a ham and cheese sandwich. The bartender is flabbergasted to see a talking duck, but then quickly proceeds to pour the duck his drink and fetch his sandwich after seeing him get impatient

A few weeks pass and the duck becomes qui...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The time my grandpa went to Africa

One day I was sitting with my grandpa watching TV. As it happened we were watching the Discovery channel when a show about Africa came on.


"Hmph, Africa... I've been there." My grandpa said.


"Really?" I asked, "I never knew you went to Africa grandpa, when was this?"

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a ton of people go in for a job interview and the final two prospects are...[racist?][dirty]

...a Harvard grad, and a Polak.

Leaning toward no particular preference, the hiring manager decides to put them to a test. "You both have 30 minutes to write a poem," he says. "But the catch, is that it has to end in Timbuktu. The best poem gets the job." Both men accept the instructions and ...

A Southern Man vs. a Yankee for a job

After a lengthy interview process, the HR department selected 2 Gentlemen for a final interview for a top spot in an advertising firm, a Yankee and a Southern man. The final interview challenge was simple enough, come up with a poem for the advertising firms newest client Timbuktu. The Yankee was ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

Three wise kings debated gifts for an upcoming baby shower.

"I've got it!" the first proclaimed. "Myrrh! I'll get some from our stores! The mother could make all manner of perfumes and medicine!"

"Fantastic idea!" the second agreed, and he gasped, "Frankincense! I have a bit left over from a recent voyage! I'll bring some along!"

They turned ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.