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Cultivate Jokes

How does Ludacris cultivate his land?

With his hoes.

My mate was whining about how hard it is to cultivate apples

So I told him to grow a pear.

Apples have been cultivated by taking off branches of one tree and splicing them into another trees.

Luckily, animal breeders took another approach.

As a farmer people always ask me "What's the difference between ploughing and cultivating? and I tell them

"I haven't cultivated your mother."

"Barkeep, why are there pills glued to the top of the bar seating?" "Oh, some people complained that our seats were too hard. Those are stool softeners."

"And, cushions would have rectal the loose vibes we work so hard to cultivate."

Pithy saying from my Dad....

When asked about growing a beard or mustache, his comment was...

"Why cultivate around your mouth what grows wild around your ass"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class...

Saul was asked to spell "cultivate," and he spelled it correctly.
He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile,
responded: "Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but
it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sadistic tyrant was finally defeated and dethroned.

During his decades of reign, the tyrant had used many cruel and unusual punishments against those who had stood against him. He had people doused in boiling water, he had cut limbs off people without just cause, he had them crucified and more.

He enjoyed watching people suffer. However, his b...

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