Michael Jackson and his wife didn’t get “his” and “hers” towels.

Nope. Instead, they got “she” and “HEE HEE HEEEE”

What is the number one cause of dry skin?

Towels.

Towels can't tell jokes

They have a dry sense of humor.

Wanna hear a joke about paper towels?

Never mind, it's tearable!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a snake and an undertaker got married, what would their towels say?

Hiss and hearse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and ...

What do you get when paper towels fall asleep?

Napkins!

Amanda: Fred, honey, in your bathroom I found two towels, one with a letter A embroidered on it and another with an F. How thoughtful of you! I used the one with an A, because F is for Fred…

Fred: F is for face.

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a hat made of paper towels?

He had a bounty on his head.

Bounty Towels have declined making a Donald Trump Towel

The company explained that it was impossible to make the towel because Donald Trump was already too self-absorbed.

My paper towels went missing

so I hired a Bounty hunter.

Velcro sanitary towels...

They're a bloody rip off

What was so special about Bounty's new line of paper towels?

nothing they were tearable.

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

The woman seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

“Are you the manager?” ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young nun is home alone in the convent.

She decides to take a shower. When she is done, she towels off. But, before she can put on her habit, she hears a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" she asks timidly.

"Blind man!" comes the reply.

She thinks to herself that since it is a blind man, no harm can come if she answers t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."

The lawy...

A skeleton walks into a bar

He says, "I'd like two beers and a roll of paper towels."

Going to my son’s room is like going to IKEA

I just go to have a look and I come out with 6 glasses, 2 plates, 3 towels and a ton of socks.

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