I went to the temporary tattoo parlor yesterday and got a tattoo of my favorite cartoon character, Roger the Alien, but when I tried to wash it off later that night, it wouldn't come off!!
So I went back to the parlor to complain, and it was gone.
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The gloves come off at home.
It's one of the benefits of being married to a proctologist.
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I wanna try asking out my school crush, but it might come off as awkward
Man being a teacher is hard
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What do panties and nail polish have in common?
With a little alcohol they both come off
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My friend said that I’m too agreeable and come off as disingenuous
I don’t know I guess he has a good point
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Auto-cannibalists come off as way too prideful.
They're so full of themselves.
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In my latest contract negotiation, my coach told me he wanted me to come off the bench next season. I replied...
That’s a non-starter.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I come off confident and cocky cause i call my dick life.
But really its cause life is short.
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Three people die and appear before Buddha
Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.
-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.
One of the people takes a step forward a...
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A man is recovering from surgery after a car crash, and he notices that both his hands are covered in casts. When a nurse comes to check on him, he asks "Will I be able to play piano after this?" "Yes, the casts should come off in a few weeks, then you should be able to play."
"That's funny, I couldn't play piano before the accident."
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