I went to the temporary tattoo parlor yesterday and got a tattoo of my favorite cartoon character, Roger the Alien, but when I tried to wash it off later that night, it wouldn't come off!!
So I went back to the parlor to complain, and it was gone.
The gloves come off at home.
It's one of the benefits of being married to a proctologist.
I wanna try asking out my school crush, but it might come off as awkward
Man being a teacher is hard
What do panties and nail polish have in common?
With a little alcohol they both come off
My friend said that I’m too agreeable and come off as disingenuous
I don’t know I guess he has a good point
Auto-cannibalists come off as way too prideful.
They're so full of themselves.
In my latest contract negotiation, my coach told me he wanted me to come off the bench next season. I replied...
That’s a non-starter.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I come off confident and cocky cause i call my dick life.
But really its cause life is short.
Three people die and appear before Buddha
Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.
-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.
One of the people takes a step forward a...
A man is recovering from surgery after a car crash, and he notices that both his hands are covered in casts. When a nurse comes to check on him, he asks "Will I be able to play piano after this?" "Yes, the casts should come off in a few weeks, then you should be able to play."
"That's funny, I couldn't play piano before the accident."
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