UPJOKE
exhaustpipecombustionengineexhaust pipeemissioncarbon monoxidedieselsmogsootpollutantsaftermarketmonoxidenitrousvapor

Why do tailpipes get worn out quickly?

Because their job is exhausting!

I had a dream that I was a tailpipe last night

I woke up totally exhausted

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Did you hear about the guy who fucked his car's tailpipe for 3 hours straight?

He was exhausted.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I saw a man hooking up with his car's tailpipe when I was camping last Saturday.

I can imagine it would be fucking exhausting.

A man bought himself an expensive new car

He was a superstitious fellow and wanted to keep anything bad from happening, so he invited a priest, an imam and a rabbi over to bless the vehicle.

First, the priest sprinkled holy water on the hood.

Next, the imam led everyone in a prayer to the vehicles' greatness.

Then final...

The Hitman gets fired!

A very dumb fella wanted to be a Hitman for the Mafia. But he got fired after he failed miserably on his first job!

He burned his lips on the tailpipe of the car he was suppose to blow up!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

On the topic of tailpipe-fucking a car, how does one sodomize their ride?

Stick it in the gashole

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and trie...

How is a car like a human?

Gas comes out the tailpipe.

A rabbi and a minister decided to buy a new car together.

The day after they bought it, the rabbi found the minister driving it. The minister explained that he had just gone to the carwash because, in his religion, it is customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism.

The next day, the minister discovered the rabbi cutting the end off th...

A proctologist fed up with his job decided to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a diesel mechanic.

He decides to enroll in a course at the local community college to learn the basics. Heโ€™s a talented student. Before he knows it, heโ€™s acing all of the paper exams and quizzes.

At the final evaluation, the proctologist is asked to apply what he learned by completely disassembling, rebuilding,...

A mechanic and a Doctor are talking

The mechanic and doctor are good friends hanging out when the mechanic says

"You know our jobs are similar. We both have to study symptoms, run diagnostics, and repair/replace faulty parts." The doctor nods in agreement. "So why do you make so much more than us?"

The doctor smiles and ...

A gynecologist decides to find a new career

A gynecologist was tired of his career, and decided to go into an entirely new field. So, he signs up for a course in auto mechanics.

He does well in the course, and is confident that he did well on the final exam: A complete engine rebuild.

When he gets his test score back, he is surp...

What happened to the Blonde who tried to blow up a School Bus?

She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

A proctologist quits his job...

A proctologist named Bill decides he is tired of practicing medicine and quits his job to pursue his dream of being a car mechanic. He enrolls in a trade school and after some time the final exam is given. The test solely consists of disassembling and reassembling a car engine. The teacher tells the...

Blonde body repair

A blonde is driving home and she gets caught in a really bad hailstorm. The hail is as big as tennis balls, and she ends up with her car covered with large dents. So the next day she takes her car to the repair shop.

The shop owner, seeing she is blonde, decides to have a little fun. He tell...

A blonde gets her car damaged in a hail storm

It's a mess. looks basically like a golf ball--dents everywhere. So she takes it to a body shop, and the technician sees she's blonde and decides to have some fun. He tells her that the fix is simple, that as soon as the tailpipe is cool, to blow into it and all the dents will just pop right out.<...

A massive hailstorm ravages a town...

...leaving plenty of damage in its wake. A blonde takes her hailstone-dented car to a body shop to have the dents removed.

The body shop owner is already swamped with work due to the storm, and decides to have some fun with her. He tells the blonde: "You know, you don't have to pay me to hav...

A priest and a rabbi buy a car...

A priest and a rabbi buy a car. The priest walks out and sees the rabbi sprinkling water over the hood.
"What are you doing?" Asked the priest.
"I'm blessing the car," said the rabbi.
"Oh, as long as we're doing THAT..." The priest walked into the garage. He later came back out with a ha...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Walrus and car trouble

So, a walrus is driving down the road when blue smoke starts to pour out of his tailpipe. Luckily he sees there's a mechanic just ahead, so he pulls in. The mechanic promises to take a look and tells the walrus he can grab some lunch across the street.

So the walrus heads to the restaurant ...

Blonde Auto Repair...

A blonde was driving to the mall (of course!) when she got caught in a sudden hailstorm with hail the size of golf balls. Her car was ruined. She took it to a body shop and asked the appraiser, "How much to fix it?" The appraiser's answer was $5,000. The fair-hair girl exclaims, "Wow! That much? Isn...

A blonde takes her car to the repair shop

One day after a huge hailstorm, a blonde took her car into the repair shop to fix all of the dents that the hailstorm had created. Upon arrival, the auto-repair men saw the extensive damage and did not want to repair the car regardless of the amount of money they would get. Seeing that she was blond...

A Rabbi, a priest, and a holy roller

walk onto a car lot. After much searching, they all find the car of their dreams. Perfect color, size, gas mileage, and price. They tell the salesman what they want, but he informs them that there is only one of these cars on the lot, and they have no idea when they will get another shipment.
...

What does a blonde do when her car endures a hail storm?

Jill woke up one morning after a hail storm that night. Her car had dents all over it. It was incredibly bad damage, so she brought it into a local auto repair to get the dents fixed. The mechanic, noticing that Jill was blonde, thought he would have a little fun. He simply told her that there is an...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Dishes

Wanting a more adventurous life, Frank decides to buy a Harley Davidson. So he goes to a local Harley dealer to have him informed about the different types.

When he get's to the dealer he immediately spots a beautiful Fat Boy with everything he could ever hoped for, beautiful chrome tailpipes...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.