I try to keep up with large vehicle emission standards

But idling busses are exhausting.

Silent Emissions

A man goes to the doctor to complain of a rather severe flatulence problem.
"Doc," he says, "I've been suffering from these silent emissions for a while now, and it's horrible. I mean, last night the wife and I had some friends over and it was happening all night. Thank god they're silent, beca...

In continuing attempts to reduce the worlds CO2 emissions, top scientists have found a way to make cars run on Parsley...

A spokesperson for the group has stated that they are now doubling their efforts to make trains run on Thyme.

BMW raided over emissions scandal /r/news

Investigators discovered huge stockpile of uninstalled turn signal controllers.

I've been testing car emissions all day ...

I'm exhausted

The FIA will be introducing a new series of Grand Turismo races with zero emission fuel cell vehicles cleverly called Formula Zero,

or GTF0.

What do you call the underwear of someone experiencing nocturnal emissions?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is like a Tesla...

Zero emissions.

I wish I could see the greenhouse emissions Reddit releases yearly

All the recycling over here at r/jokes must be helpful!

A old Jewish man goes to the doctors...

He says "Doctor I've got a huge problem."

The doctor says "What is it?"

He says "I keep getting these silent, smelly, gassy emissions I was with my wife and the Grossmans yesterday and it happened about 100 times during dinner and created a nauseous gas but it was silent so no one new...

Tom cruise is going to star in a romantic movie about trying to stay aroused long enough to get his wife pregnant.

It's called 'emission impossible'

People make fun of anti-vaxx people but you gotta admit

They do reduce carbon emissions

Geezer goes to the doctor ...

An old guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me. I've got silent gas emissions! It's horrible. One last night, nearly killed the dog. Another this morning--and the flies died on the walls. And another just a minute ago. Please, its awful, I'll do anything to cure these...

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

They both lie about their emissions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nervous young man arrives for the first time at the house of his new girlfriend...

A nervous young man arrives for the first time at the house of his new girlfriend, and is greeted at the door by her father and Baron, the family dog. The young man is invited to sit in the living room to visit with the dad while his date is getting ready upstairs, and Baron wags his tail and sits ...

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