Last night I dreamed I was a muffler...

...when I woke up, I was exhausted!

After 20 years, I retired from our local muffler repair shop.

I was exhausted.

Why did the muffler guys quit their job?

They were exhausted

Installing mufflers isn’t an easy job.

It’s exhausting.

I had a flat on the highway and walked 8 miles into town to the auto shop. The mechanic towed my car, fixed my tire and gave me a great deal on a new muffler.

Now I’m tired and exhausted.

I would tell you a joke about a car muffler..

But it would be too exhausting

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A packrat decided to make a nest in my car's muffler.

By the time I got to the mechanic the poor bugger was exhausted.

I’m not having much luck with jobs lately.

I couldn’t concentrate in the orange juice factory; wasn’t suited to be a tailor; the muffler factory was just exhausting; couldn’t cut it as barber; didn’t have the patience to be a doctor; didn’t fit in the shoe factory; pool maintenance was too draining and I just couldn’t see any future as a his...

Old habits are hard to break.

A woman gynecologist decides she wants to become a mechanic. She enrolls in a technical college and becomes an A student.

Before she can graduate she must pass the final exam, which is dismantling a car engine & rebuilding correctly. When she receives the results of her exam she sees the ...

I used to install mufflers but I recently quit

It was too exhausting.

I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers.

I'm exhausted.

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I used to work at a muffler shop...

That shit was exhausting. Then I got a job a vacuum store, but it sucked even more.

Don’t know why used car salesmen get such a bad rap.

Mine knocked 20 bucks off the muffler tax just because he liked my face!

A gynecologist decides it's time to hung up his speculum.

A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 po...

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepar...

In a interview, my boss asked me, "Why do you think you should work here?"

I said, "My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

I then tried crushing cans for recycling, but I quit because it was soda-pressing....

An OBGYN got tired of her career and decided to train to become a mechanic.

Her final exam was taking apart a car engine and putting it back together. When she finished, the instructor announced that she scored a 150 on the exam even though it was only out of 100. When she asked how she scored so high, the instructor explained that she got the full 100 points for her work o...

A gynecologist has a midlife crisis and takes night classes to become a mechanic...

She's really nervous the night of the final, so she studies real hard and hopes for the best.

When the grades are posted, she freaks out because her grade says 150% and she assumes it was an error, so she goes to see the instructor.

He explains it's no error.

"You took apart th...

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Do I have to draw you a picture?

Son: "Dad, a kid got in trouble at school today for saying "bitch" and "pussy", what does that mean?"

Dad: Grabs an old muffler shop calendar and a marker. "Look here Junior." Dad uses the marker and circles the genitalia of the nude Miss December, then points. "That right there, that i...

A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...

He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.

The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!

HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Atlana. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-285 is...

Gynecologist that wants to be a mechanic.

My girlfriend's grandfather told me this beauty last night.


Bob no longer wants to be a Gynecologist and decides that a mechanic job would best suit him.

He attends a class on the basic of car repairs. After finishing the course Bob receives a grade of 150/100. Bob, confused, goes ...

Bill Gates in a car

A software engineer, a hardware designer and Bill Gates are driving in car on the freeway. Suddenly the car breaks down, the engines stops.
The software engineer says: “I think that car ran out if gas. Let’s walk to the nearest gas station and get some gas, put it in the car and then it will st...

Obstetrician career change

An Obstetrician decides that he's sick of his job and opts to become a car mechanic. For the next several months he attends night classes at his local technical college to gain his certification. A few months before the end of the curriculum, the entire class is informed that there will be a final i...

I've been having weird dreams lately...

I keep waking up in the middle of the night because of this one weird dream that im having... i dream that im a muffler.

Im exhausted.

(It's better when you actually say it but hey i tried)

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A few I picked up...

JOKES!

A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "five drinks please"

What begins with a " C" ends with a "T" has a "U and a "N" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle.

Coconut

What do dentists call their X-rays?

Toothpicks

Dir...

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Gynecologist Mechanic

After nearly forty years in practice as a gynecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard.

The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to compl...

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