I saw a guy today with soot all over his face carrying a large pick axe and wearing a royal blue hardhat that matched his overalls.

But these are just miner details.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody els...

The good ol' cannon

A woman is about to deliver her first baby. While she's in the birthing room, her husband is outside, waiting for the doctor to give him the good news.

After an hour or so, the doctor finally comes out.

«Sir... it's a boy! Healthy and beautiful!»

«OH GOD» says the man, excited f...

An Irishman is pulled from a bar on fire

The firemen, in the interest of finding out the cause ask him, "What started the fire!?"

The Irishman, covered on soot, shakes his head. "Beats me. It was already on fire when I went in."

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

Because it ‘soots’ him.

It was time to get our chimney cleaned so I called a professional chimney sweep. He checks things out and after 10 minutes hands me an estimate. After checking it out I protested. "Twenty five hundred! Are you nuts? I'll clean it myself!

Ok soot yourself.

The South-African, Chinese and American are all on a new experimental long distance plane together

The South-African, American and the Chinese president are all on a plane

Eventually they get tired of talking business and decide to open up a couple of beers and soon get drunk, somehow they find a way to open one of the windows of the plane and take turns sticking their hand out the window....

How to catch an elephant.

So the first thing you want to do when trying to catch an elephant is dig a really big hole. They're absolute units so a REALLY big hole.
Next you need to burn stuff, you just need the soot and ashes so it doesn't matter what you burn. Once you have a lot of soot and ashes built up, you need t...

A guy calls a chimney sweep.

A guy calls a chimney sweep to get his chimney cleaned. The sweep checks it out and then says he can do the job for $1,200. "TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!" the guy shouts. "For that much I'll do it myself." The sweep chuckles and says "Okay soot yourself "

The Irishman

Some firemen pull an Irishman from a burning bar. He's coughing, completely covered in soot, and stinks strongly of smoke.

When the firemen ask him how the fire started the Irishman says, "How the hell should I know? The place was on fire when when I got here!"

On the first day of Juvenal court, the judge was sitting down to start reviewing the day's cases.

"Bring out the first defendant," He said to the new bailiff. He left, and came back a moment later with young boy who was accused of shoplifting. He was covered in black soot, wore tattered overalls, and over-sized work boots and gloves.

The judged asked the boy why he came to court ...

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A man comes across 10 naked black men

They are all completely black from head to toes except for one of them who has a pink penis.

“Why are you black gentlemen completely naked?” he asks.

“We’re not black, we are mine workers. We are covered with soot. We are naked because it’s very hot down the shaft so it’s easier to wor...

How do you catch an elephant?

First you have to dig a pit deep enough to hold the elephant.

Then you have a huge bonfire and dump all of the leftover soot into that hole.

Next you place a ring of peas around the entire pit.

Now; you wait.

When an elephant comes by and stops to take a pea, you kick ...

A quick math question

Alright, so here's quick math question for ya:

So there's two trains. The first train is traveling at *exactly* 90 miles per hour from Plotopia heading due west. There is a clown standing atop it. He is holding a grenade. (And yes, his billowing pants and rainbow-dyed afro-wig *are* affecting...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An art joke

A couple found a painting in an art gallery, the painting showed 3 black men, 2 eating sandwiches on a bench, all naked, yet the man in the middle had a white penis and had no sandwich.

The couple looked at this painting, puzzled, they asked the curator what it meant.

"well, you see, ...

Irishman and the fire

Firemen receive a call that the local bar is on fire. They rush over to the local bar and sure enough, the whole bar is aflame.

They sweep into the burning bar to check for survivors and find a man face down on the floor. They pull him from the flames, soot-ridden and unconscious, they sl...

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