Sweeping Jokes - 46 Hilarious Sweeping Jokes

Why did the sweeping brush stay indoors?

Cos it wanted to stay at broom temperature!

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Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

I don't mean to make sweeping generalizations

but all brooms are pretty much the same.

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An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese man are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the large, muscular, Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

To the slightly less muscular but still large Italian man, he says, "You're in charge of sweeping."

And to the skinny Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of...

I saw on the news that ignorance and apathy are sweeping the country

I didn't know that, but I don't really care.

My kink is sweeping things under the rug

But nows probably not a good time to talk about it...

An interview with a vampire

An interview with a vampire.

Interviewer: Voad, You have been living for the last 5000 years, in almost every country on the planet. You have seen rulers come and go, empires rise and fall. Please, tell me what you have done to occupy yourself during this time.

Voad: Well, I have tak...

A new social media site is sweeping over college campuses.

Mysafespace.

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There’s been a rash of laryngitis sweeping through the Scandinavian equine circuit

Quick! Call the Hoarse Norse Horse Nurse!

You know what chicks love?

Sweeping generalizations.

When I was in college, I used to watch my roommate constantly sweeping girls off their feet.

He was a really aggressive janitor.

Did you guys hear about the new board game sweeping the Iberian peninsula?

Settlers of Catalan.

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Probably the grossest joke I've ever heard.

late one evening a guy is closing up the restaurant he works at. He's sweeping floors and wiping tables, when there's a knock at the door. He opens the door and standing there is the filthiest bum he's ever seen. The bum says, "say fella, could you give me a fork?" Well the guy figures, what the hel...

The broom and dust pan will be kept in the hall closet from now on...

...and I'm considering other sweeping changes around here.

Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet.

Sweeping is your job.

When don't you disturb a broom

When it's sweeping.

I had a job interview today, so I started with some sweeping, after which I displayed my twirling, then a little peek-a-boo, and I finished with a most vigorous flapping

I don't think they were impressed with my cape abilities.

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A maid worked at the house of a very rich couple

One day, she was peacefully sweeping the floor when the phone rang. She answered it:

"Hello, who am I talking to?"

"It's me, the boss. Is my wife already home?"

"What...? I mean, yes, she's here, sir, but why are you calling? Aren't you here too?"

"What do you mean? I'm a...

Why did man invent curling?

To convince women sweeping was a sport.

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Jesus and Moses go Fishing

Jesus and Moses are sitting by a riverbank, fishing, and shooting the shit about the good ol' days.

Moses says, "I had a few great days, but I have to say, that day I parted the Red Sea was the best of them. Man, that was spectacular! You should have seen the look on everyone's faces." ...

There was a murder at a Janitorial Convention

Needless to say, there were sweeping allegations…

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Dear Dr. Jones, I'm writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years

He makes love to me regardless of what I am doing, whether ironing, washing dishes, sweeping, even sending e-mails, etc.

I would like to know if there is anything that ucnn hlp m wth nd f unothel gothsl ehj fpslth fjsl;s;;o{O} .lp sld mpskdli dlks; a;ld ;;'

Ccinsely ous,,, mdyl

Have you heard of the movie about the broom?

It's sweeping the nation.

My friend spoke to me today, and insisted that all brooms are the same...

I always hated those sweeping generalizations.

I don’t actually have a joke for you guys, but I do have a really awesome idea for cleaning up the trash on our planet! For one day, every single person in the country grabs a broom and cleans out every dirty corner they can find! It’s become quite popular across the country. You could say it’s...

...sweeping the nation

Everyone in Britain prefers brushes over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying their floors.

Sorry if that's a sweeping generalisation.

Why is Joe Biden like the Coronavirus?

They are both sweeping through the states, taking the elderly's breath away.

What did the janitor's ex wife accuse him of?

Sweeping around.

It's not right to assume that a janitor can clean your chimney.

You shouldn't make sweeping generalizations.

I’ve never used a broom in my whole life.

I realise this is a sweeping statement

All maids love their brooms

Well, that's a bit of a sweeping generalisation.

A man was at the checkout to buy a broom for his house.

He goes up to the cashier and asks if the broom he has is the best one they have. The cashier responds "im not sure i mean a broom is a broom". The man replies "whoa lets not make any sweeping generalizations here"

Olympic curling seems like the kind of game...

Mr. Miyagi would have invented to trick Daniel into sweeping his floors.

Why should you vote a janitor into public office?

If you want them to make sweeping changes.

A chicken walks into a library...

...and she walks up to the counter and says, "book, booook, book book." So the librarian thinks briefly and comes back with Animal Farm. The hen wanders off with the book.

Next day the hen is back, it has the book with it, the librarian returns the book and the hen goes, "book, boooook, book...

One broom said to the other...

'New brooms are always better than old ones.'

'Wow, that's a sweeping statement.' the other broom replied.

It's pretty easy to fall in love with an Olympic Curler

They're used to sweeping people off their feet

What are jokes about janitors called?

Sweeping generalizations.

When I was a boy, sometime in the mid-90s, I had absolutely zero friends. My concerned mother brought in the neighbor kids for a dreaded 'play date'..

It started out just awful. Everyone ignored me and horsed around. Once they started trying to wreck my moms furniture, I had to take out my secret weapon.

My dad had scored an early VHS release of the last years most popular movie. I could have been the only one in the country with this mo...

An American hiker walks to the edge of a Himalayan cliff, determined to end it all.

As he stares down at the rocks below, he notices movement out of the corner of his eye. He glances over to see a Buddhist monk standing between two trees, beckoning him over.

With nothing to lose, the man shuffles over to the monk, who is holding a string of prayer flags. "You trying to talk...

The Italian Boss’ sudden Inspection

James gets a job at an Italian restaurant. He finds his boss to be extremely unsettling. He is old, very stern and demanding.

He takes the job anyway because he is desperate to make money.

One day, strange men in suits walk in 5 minutes before closing time. Unlike anyone he’s ever seen...

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A zoo bought a female gorilla a while back

A zoo bought a female gorilla a while back. Recently, she went into heat, so the zookeeper called all his friends at different zoos to find a male gorilla to deal with the issue.
He called and called, but the budget his board had given him was only $10,000, and nobody could afford to ship their g...

Why did the janitor file for a divorce?

He found his wife sweeping with someone else.

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Clean floor

*A blonde woman had just finished sweeping the bathroom's floor when she went downstairs and heard her husband calling her again from the second floor.*

"Honey, the floor was so shiny I literally kissed it!"

"Really? Did I seriously do such a good job?"

"No, It's slippery as fuc...

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"The elephant is vegetarian" I smugly declared as I put on my scientist's hat.

"Oh, and how would you know that?" retorted my wife, as she often does when I make such sweeping assertions.

"Well," I said, "I have examined elephant turd carefully and I have found it to be quite vegetarian."

"In fact," I unwisely continued, "If you were to pick up an elephant t...

Johnson is a janitor for a big international company.

One day, as Johnson is sweeping the floors in the lobby of the main headquarters for the company, George Bush enters the building as he has a meeting with the CEO. He meets the CEO in the lobby but before entering the conference room, he greets Johnson, "Heeey Johnson! Nice to see you buddy!" After ...

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