Before my operation, the anaesthesiologists asked if I wanted to be knocked out via gas or boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist said I could be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle.

So I guess it was an ether/oar situation.

One day a man decided to retire. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How d...

Imagine if oars could swim?

Wouldn't that be oar-swam?

I'm so sorry...

My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked, "Which one do you want?"

I said I'd take either/oar.

Tom is coming to the school with a huge black eye

Teacher: what happened, were you in a fight? You know it's forbidden!
Tom: No, we went fishing with Pa, and a huge hornet sat on my eye!
Teacher: my goodness! Did it bite you? Tom: Nah, Pa managed to kill it with the oar

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

“Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter....

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My brother-in-law and I were fishing

Not having any luck when he told me to row faster. I rowed and rowed when all of a sudden both oars snapped right in half.

Stranded my brother-in-law said, "What now dipshit?"

"Don't worry. Somebody is going to come by." I answered.

Just then around a corner came an Englishman ...

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Jesus & Moses in a boat

so jesus and moses were rowing a boat fishing for supper and after no action Jesus was getting bored and he was like 'hey moishe, moishe--check it out, you think i can still walk on water? you think i still have it? how much you wanna bet i can still walk on water?' Moses says 'i'll take any bet you...

Michigan has updated their social distancing guidelines

Residents are now asked to stay one oars-length away from one another.

A famous Admiral and an equally famous General were fishing together when a sudden storm hit.

When it died down both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the water.

The Admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the General, using an oar.

Catching his breath, he puffed: "Please don't say a word about this to anyone...

A man was out on a fishing trip

When suddenly, he dropped one of his oars into the water, frustrated that he couldn't get the boat moving, he decided to seek help.

He saw someone with two beautiful women on his boat who also had a spare oar. "Excuse me, may I borrow one of your oars?" he yelled.
The man appeared offended...

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris and an Irishman were on a boat

Jesus Christ, Chuck Norris and an Irishman were on a boat. They had to get to land, but had no oars.

Jesus starts walking across the water, and finally makes it safely to the other side.

Chuck joins Jesus, and walks safely across too.

The Irishman thought, if they can d...

A Blonde working in an office...

she glanced out the window and noticed a car , towing a small rowboat parking beside an empty field. She thought nothing of it and continued to work.

She looked out again towards the field and seen a blonde woman getting out of the car, removing the boat and dragging it into the field. "What ...

I needed some paddles for my canoe

So I found someone selling some on Craigslist. I went over, but his directions were all screwed up and there wasn't any cell coverage so it took me three hours to find the place. And then when I got there he tried to charge me four times what he'd posted on the site! So I argued with him for wha...

Two explorers find a canoe in an ancient temple

Inside, they find what appears to be a reflective rowing tool. Unfortunately, it was just a mere oar

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In the middle of a summer, Bubba and Billy Ray are fishing in a lake, while a tourist on water skis keeps doing circles around their boat...

Bubba eyes the tourist, and, after a while, mutters:

"That guy sure's scarin' away all them fish with that racket..."

"Sure is," Billy Ray agrees.

"Say," Bubba suggests, "why don't we smack an oar next time he passes us, an' splash him?"

Billy Ray likes the idea, and they...

I was rowing down the creek with some friends last week, and I thought:

"Oars would be better!"

There was a huge fight at the boat store.

Paddles were on clearance for 90% off, and people went crazy trying to get them.

It was quite an oar deal.

Two friends are sitting in a boat

One asks, "which paddle should I use?"

His friend responds, "either oar."

A British couple are on a cruise ship. It sinks, and they're the only survivors left, managing to get on a boat

They can spot land not far off. They try as hard as they can to use the oars, but they won't budge.


The wife has an idea, she calls her husband useless and incompetent. The husband retorts and a huge argument begins.


The boat inches slowly towards land. The more they argue and ...

I went boating with cast of friends the other day...

None of them could use an oar, but Lisa Kudrow.

Sorry.

Why did the astronomer use two hams to row his boat?

He liked meaty oars.

transatlantic voyage 5 dollars

A guy sees a newspaper ad that says "transatlantic voyage only five dollars". He's never been overseas so he heads down to the dock on the coast and sure enough, there's a shack with a sign "transatlantic voyage $5". He gives the attendant five bucks and is handed a pair of oars. The attendant sh...

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Out to Sea

So there were these two Irish guys who decided they should go to the bar. The bar was right across the river but the nearest bridge was a few miles down the road. They agreed that they could just take a rowboat across and save time.

About the time they are crossing the river, a storm come...

Two blondes were driving out in the country side

One looked out the window and saw another blonde in the middle of a field sitting in a rowboat, working the oars.

She pointed her out and said, "Its idiots like that that give us all a bad name."

"You're right," said her companion, "let's go drown her."

Dad's favorite ship joke.

A ship's quartermaster descends into the galley to address the rowers. "I have good news," he said. "Today, all of your food and alcohol rations have been doubled." As he said this, a cheer went up from the slaves and they eagerly grabbed at their oars.

"One more thing," he added. "The captai...

Secretary Mattis presented the Military Branches with sticks

The Army turned theirs into a weapon

The Navy used it as an oar

The Air Force put theirs on display at Lackland

The Marines held onto theirs confused.

Secretary Mattis asked them "you don't have any idea what to with that?"

The Marines replied "We do, but the Presi...

A Blonde is Sitting in Canoe...

In the middle of an open field next to a highway, paddling away with her oar at the ground.

Another blonde driving past this scene, can’t help but stop her car and pull over. She screams from her window!
“What are you doing out there! You know it’s idiots like you that give all of us blo...

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What did the rower say to his glute-strengthening apparatus after he found his missing rowing instrument?

Butt weight, there's m'oar!

The indecisive rower...

...couldn't choose either oar.

A blonde was driving along in the countryside

just enjoying the views and the rolling hills, when suddenly she happened upon another blonde sitting in a boat in the middle of the field, pulling the oars like her life depended.

Our hero slammed the brakes and exited her car, storming towards the boat and the still-rowing fair-haired woman...

A guide and a tourist are sailing past the coast...

They sail past a few sights and the guide gives some backstory on these.

Eventually they sail past a man and a woman making a ruckus in the bushes. The guide is embarrassed and says: "These people are just cycling."

The tourist grabs an oar and throws it at the guy's head.

The g...

So, a guy's fishing on a boat..

..after fishing all day he runs out of gas. After sitting on the water stranded for hours, another boat pulls alongside and offers help. Desperate for help, the stranded fisherman asks "Hey can I borrow them two oars?!?" The man quickly responds "Them ain't oars, that's my mother and my sister"

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