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Support Group Jokes

I decided to put together a support group for erectile dysfunction

It was a big flop and nobody came.

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I didn’t know what to wear to my premature ejaculation support group

So I just came in my pants.

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I'm starting a support group for women that can't reach orgasm.

If you can't come let me know.

There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery...

The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."

Edit: Wow, thanks guys. This made me win a bet with my friend to see who could get frontpaged first :D

Edit #2: I just won $1, lol.

Edit #3: We made the...

How do you call a support group for recovering hackers?

Anonymous anonymous

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I attended a premature ejaculators support group today.

Turns out it's tomorrow.

Sour Patch Kid Walks into a Support Group

Sour patch kid walks into a support group for separated couples.

He says, "Hello, I'm new, and my name is Barry. My wife, Godiva, and I have been together for 15 years, and have been separated for 2 of those years. She claims my mood swings are 'unbearable' "

Everyone says "Hi Barry ...

Why were the French fries in a victim support group?

Because they were a salted.

I've just joined a procrastinators support group.

Ìt is called Wait Watchers.

i found a great online support group for erectile dysfunction

but the site won’t stay up

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A therapy support group session.

A psychiatrist was conducting a therapy support group session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he stated.

To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.

"He turned to the second mother and s...

what do you call a support group for people who talk too much?

On and on Anon

I gave an emotional speech at my conjunctivitis support group the other day.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room.

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I just joined a support group for compulsive masturbators.

We are trying to pull ourselves together.

I went to a concert hosted by the Dyslexics Support Group.

Queef Latina was the headliner and they put on a hell of a show.

I was diagnosed with antisocial behaviour disorder, so I joined a support group.

We never meet.

Covid Support Group

Good evening everyone. My name is Droxy Chloroquine, and I'm here to talk about unverified cures for Covid.

Group in unison: Hi Droxy Chloroquine

I got kicked out of our Writers Block support group today

It made me really

Welcome back to the plastic surgery addicts support group

I'm seeing a lot of new faces here and I must say I'm very disappointed...

A few members of the Obsessive Compulsive support group decided to start a band

The called it OCDC

Me and my friends from the obsessive compulsive support group are starting a rock cover band.

We’re calling ourselves OC/DC.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.

We haven’t met yet.

Name for a PTSD support group

I just got kicked out of my support group for those chronically depressed with PTSD. We were trying to think up a group name, apparently 'The Suicide Squad' isn't considered appropriate.

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They had to change the meeting time for the premature ejaculators' support group.

Everyone kept coming too early.

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I called the premature ejaculation support group to find out what the dress code was.

Apparently, most members just come in their pants.

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Mothers Support Group...

At a mother's support group, a gathering of ladies with their children are talking with a therapist about life issues. After a few rounds of discussion the therapist had come to a few conclusions she wanted to share.

She looks at the first mother and says, "The reason you named your daughter...

i went to a support group for short term memory loss

the host said: "good evening, you're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room"

They weird thing about the Erectile Dysfunction support groups is they're always planning meetings (NSFW)

But nobody can come.

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I went to the Premature Ejaculators Anonymous support group today.

Turns out it's tomorrow.

Edit: A few of you started laughing before the end of that joke.



*Credit: Gary Delaney*

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There wasn’t any parking at the Sex Addict Support Group

So everybody came on the bus

I go to a muscular dystrophy support group.

We meet weakly.

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I joined an alcoholism support group.

It was a total bait-and-switch; every motherfucker there was *against* my alcoholism!

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I went to a support group for masturbation addicts the other day.

It was the best meeting I've ever been to, hands down.

I joined an emotional support group for people without pets...

But they kicked me out for talking about my felines.

There was a support group for parents who had lost their children.

Every week, many would gather to share the horrible trauma they had experienced: Terminal illness, accidents, and other birth complications. However, there was one man who always came in on the same day for the past four years. He would always say the same thing: "Today would have been my son's birt...

I formed a support group for people who suffer from Agoraphobia.

Unfortunately it didn't work out. Everyone wanted to have it at their place.

Earlier today I saw this dude walking out of an erectile dysfunction support group. He looked like a douche, so I tried to fight him. But no luck...

It's almost impossible to get a rise out of those people.

My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition

Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.

Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.

I got third by smashing an urn.

I signed up for an ADHD support group...

We meet every Tuesday night from 6:00 to 6:08, 6:12 to 6:22, 6:31 to 6:44, and 6:46 to 7:00.

I’m holding a support group for men with erectile dysfunction.

Let me know if you can’t come.

Met a lovely woman at my arthritis support group last night.

We clicked together.

I went to a support group the other day.

The leader asked everyone to share their greatest accomplishment. When it got to me I told them, “I plugged in a usb on the first try once.” The instructor looked at me and said, “I’m sorry, this group is for people with low self esteem. Pathological liars are across the hall.”

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I invited my premature-ejaculation support group over to my house for dinner...

...but they came a lot earier than expected, typical!

What do you call a support group for child epileptics?

Little Seizures

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I heard there’s been a lot of jokes in our premature ejaculation support group lately.

But when I came, everyone just shut up.

I organised a support group meeting for individuals with erectile dysfunction.

Though around 20 people registered, many couldn't come.

What do you call a support group for cattle herders?

A steakholders meeting

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I’ve decided to start a weekly support group for people who struggle with having orgasms.

Don’t worry if you can’t come.

Can we start a support group for procrastinators?

Yeah... Tomorrow though

I have unidirectional phobia, but I started going to support groups.

And finally I took a step in the right direction.

A man brings his wife to his first domestic abuse support group

As they sit down, the man beside him leans over and whispers in his ear:

"You hittin' that?"

I want to start an irritable bowel support group

called fecal matters

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My pedophile support group kicked me out last week

I was getting a little behind

I thought about starting a support group for pessimists...

...but why bother, it's not like it'd make any difference anyway...

Good afternoon everyone, and thank you for attending the plastic surgery addicts support group

I see many new faces here today.

Which is disappointing.

My dad recently joined a support group for people with erectile dysfunction...

Their slogan is: "If You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em.

I joined a BPD support group to deal with my abandonment issues.

But I didn't deserve those beautiful losers, so I left them.

Apparently there's a support group for cows who have trouble producing milk.

The cows go, talk about their feelings and build each udder up.

Did you hear about the guy that ran the erectile dysfunction support group?

He had to disband the group because he couldn't raise enough members.

I started teaching a rope tying class a couple hours before a depression support group

It was incredibly successful but it died out quick

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I was going to go to a premature ejaculator's support group, but I hear everyone shows uuuuuuuuuuu....

I'm so sorry. I can't help it. Do you have any paper towels?

More men have been enrolling in domestic violence support groups than ever

If you can't beat em, join em

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I run a support group for premature ejaculators every Friday at 6.

But everybody comes early.

There's a support group for burned-out hacker/activists who want to give up the habit.

It's called Anonymous Anonymous.

Santa and his wife had a messy divorce after they both got colostomies.

After encouragement from friends and family, they both joined the support group for people with colostomies ironically named The Semicolon. Due to the help and support they got, they ended up remarrying.

Two independent Clauses were able to be joined as a result of The Semicolon.

A busload of people die

and go to heaven. Not just any busload, because this particular group was an "ugly person support group", on their way to Disneyland. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter looks at them all lined up and sighs, saying "since you all had such a rough life, due to being hideous, and you died so tragically, ...

How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twelve, one to change it and the other eleven to start a support group called "recovering from the darkness"

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church bulletin bloopers

*These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:*
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for ...

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