UPJOKE
importantmilitarystrategytacticaloperationaltechnologicalancient greeklogisticsof importprioritieskeypolicystrategiescrucialobjective

Strategic Jokes

Have you guys heard about these mints that improve your strategic thinking abilities?

They're called Tac Tics.

I'm Designing a New Strategic Weapons System

It flies over enemy territory expelling thousands of tonnes of excrement.

I call it the Incontinent Ballistic Missile...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of man would you be if you didn’t strategically fart?

a shitty man

Why is Roy Moore’s Strategic Planning Committee headquartered in Disney's Hollywood Hotel?

He likes to keep his staff in something 12 years old.

Pence warns North Korea that the "era of strategic patience is over."

He continued, "Now we enter the era of strategically sending North Korea to its room without the new WiFi password."

"Honestly son, it's all about separation of the whites and the colored with some strategic hanging thrown in...

Other than that, there's not really much more I can teach you about doing laundry."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Arguing against an idiot is like playing chess against a pigeon

You strategically think of all the moves and you have the intelligence to win, but they will just shit on all the pieces and then strut around as if they'd won

Wife-Husband Peaceful Relationship

They asked him why your relationship with your wife is always peaceful and no fight ever?! He replied that is because we agreed since the beginning that she takes decisions in small issues leaving me the big ones. For example, she takes decisions in: What house or car to buy; what school we choose f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What Hangs Down and has a Tiny Penis?

Funny enough, my mother was the one who told me this joke. First, you call someone (preferably a close friend). Then you ask them the question "What hangs down and has a tiny penis?" then you strategically wait for their response. If they don't answer correctly with "a bat" then say "The answer is a...

Soon after the General retired..., he decided he must do something different...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...!

*He soon found himself on an island with no flagstaff, no batmen, no ADC, no club, no canteen, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.*

After about four months,...

What do you get when you cross a mountain range with 40 elephants?

A strategic military advantage against the Romans in the Second Punic War.

*CORPORATE JOKE*

Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements, sir?"

MD: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door, leave them alone and come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

...

Where does a world leader keep their armies?

Around the world in strategic places, were else did you think they would be?

When asked to secure the building, the different branches of the military all took unique approachs.

The Army set up a defensive perimeter. Surrounding the building with 50cal implacements, tanks, sandbags, barbed wire and strategically placed snipers.

The SAS approached under the cover of night and stormed the building with a hard and fast two pronged ground and air assault.

The Na...

A young lady was walking through a field in Scotland...

...when she noticed a man passed out against a tree. Curious of what men wore underneath their kilts, she decided there was no better time to find out. She giggled softly, took her ribbon, and tied it at a strategic location.

The next morning the Scotsman woke up with a terrible hangover and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Too far in...

A couple has been dating for a few months. For the most part it’s a perfect relationship. The only thing that annoys the girl is that the guy isn’t much of a risk taker. The only thing that annoys the guy is that the girl is making him wait before he takes the relationship to a physical level. In fa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rabbit is being chased by a bear

and just as the bear was about to catch him, they trip over a fabled genie’s lamp. Having brushed the lamp, a genie appears and promises to grant the rabbit and bear three wishes each.

Before the rabbit has a chance to speak, the bear shoves him aside and tells the genie how hard it is to fin...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.