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Of all the logical fallacies (ad hominem, straw man, causal) my favorite is the phallusy fallacy...

its when you're wrong AND you're being a dick about it.

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Equally Logical - Jewish parable from 1948

A group of Nazis surrounded an elderly Berlin Jew and demanded of him, "Tell us Jew, who caused the war?"

The little Jew was no fool. "The Jews," he said, then added, "and the bicycle riders."

The Nazis were puzzled. "Why the bicycle riders?"

"Why the Jews?" answered the little ...

After having failed his exam in Logic, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my grade as is and go. If you howev...

My friend told me that he thinks pennies are not logical

I just don’t get it. They make perfect cents

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The Logical Redneck

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me giv...

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Man and logic

So a man had three girlfriends and he needed to choose one of them to marry so he gave them each 5 grand to see what they would do with it

The first spent it all on herself- getting her hair done, nails done, outfits so that she could look amazing for him

The second took the money an...

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I met my new neighbor today

I asked him “So what do you do for a living?” He says “well I’m a professor of logic over at the university.” I said “What’s that?” and he says “Well it’s easier if I show you.”

So he asks “Do you have a dog house?” And I said “Yes I do!” He says “Well logically speaking then you likely have ...

Perfume is a very logical business.

It always makes scents.

A Logical Conclusion

They say a camera adds 10 pounds.

After my last look in the mirror, I must be under heavy surveillance.

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A radio station was running a competition – words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali...

DJ: “96 FM here, what’s your name?”

Caller: “Hi, my name’s Dave.”

DJ: “Dave, what’s your word?”

Caller: “Goan... spelt G-O-A-N.”

DJ: “You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make se...

Anti-Vaxxers are immune to logical arguments

too bad for them they aren't immune to everything else

After jacking myself off to logical deduction, i realized that im really weird.

This is the conclusion that i came to.

What's the most logical building in the USA?

The US Mint.. it makes a lot of cents.

Jim Just Started a Class on Logic

On the Friday before the first weekend of the semester, the Professor announces that there will be a quiz the following week, and it will be a surprise. By a "surprise", he clarifies that while he knows when the quiz will be, the students **will not know** which day the quiz will be ahead of time, s...

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Why did the Helium atom feel lonely? No one wanted to bond with it would be a logical answer.

The truth is, it is just an asshole!

I can't stand people believing in astrology.

Sorry, but we Pisceans are logical and scientific.

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Proof that men are logical:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough, that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myse...

Logical fallacies are annoying.

Therefore, people that don't know about them are annoying.

There was a family of 3 balloons - long

Mummy, daddy and baby balloon. The time had come that baby balloon had grown so big he no longer fit between his mum and dad in bed so they decided it was best he slept alone in his own bed from there on out.

Bedtime comes and off baby balloon goes to be tucked in, only to still be awake an ...

Did you hear the one about the Logical Induction paper?

I don’t know if it exists, but there are good papers leading up to it.

What does an anti-vaxxer say when confronted with logical reasoning?

“BEGONE, THOUGHT!”

“Some people ask ‘why’ to determine a motive, I ask ‘why’ because I don’t believe there’s any logical reason to do anything.”

-Nietzsche on the habits of road crossing chickens

Sounds logical

Q; If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in.

Legal but not Logical

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, ...

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

Logical conclusion... (longish)

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found
traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that
their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, ...

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Logical Analyst

A guy's sitting in the pub at the bar and strikes up a conversation with the dude next to him:


"So what do you do for a living then, mate?"

- "I'm a Logical Analyst"

"What does that mean?"

- "Here, let me demonstrate... Do you have any pets?"

"Yeh, we've ...

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Professor of Logic

A guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard, so he decides to get acquainted. After introductions, he asks the new neighbor what he does for a living.

The new neighbor says, "I'm a professor." The first neigbhbor then asks, "Oh yeah, what do you teach?"

"Logic," the professor repon...

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Sounds logical

A little boy is on the toilet with diarrhea. He tells his mom to give him some viagra. “ What on earth would you need viagra for?” says the mom. The little boy says,” isn’t that what you give dad when his shit won’t get hard?”

longest word in the English language - Funny but logical

What is the longest word in the English language?
SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

[Nerd joke] What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies?

They both violate the rules of the premises.

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Santa wants to learn the subject Logic

he goes to his friend Banta, and says, this 'Logic' is really difficult for me to understand. Could you please help teach it to me.

Banta: well its really simple. let me give you an example. Do you have an aquarium in your house?

Santa: Yes

Banta: logically there must be fishes ...

Logic.

In class I learned:
Nothing is better than ice cream to eat on a hot summers day.
I also learned that if stranded on a desert island and you have crackers then at least they're better than nothing.
My professor then pointed out that crackers are better than ice cream and he logically prove...

Did you hear about the logical skunk?

It made sense.

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College Level Logic

Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, having a brew.

Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two le...

Kirk and Spock are on a first contact mission.

The planet's natives serenade them with drumbeats upon hollowed-out tree trunks.

"Mister Spock, it sounds like the notes follow an exponential progression."

"Logical, Captain, when one uses log rhythms."

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