Why is rabbit farming a terrifying profession?

Every day is a hare-raising experience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

America: "It's terrifying so many of us are dying to something we can't even see."

The Middle East: "We fucking know"

The drone pilot: “lol"

What's the most terrifying to read in Braille?

"Do not touch."

What's the only thing more terrifying than Thanos wearing the Infinity Gauntlet?

Thanos wearing the Infinity Gauntlet while playing a Jet in a production of West Side Story

The alphabet is terrifying.

A bee sea? No thank you

A tree's first winter must be terrifying.

Imagine the releaf they feel in spring.

What is something you can find under your son's bed which will terrify you more than your son?

A coconut

To the thief who broke into my costume shop and stole the most terrifying mask I had for sale:

I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror.

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The Bear

A man was telling his friend about one of his recent adventures "One time a bear saw me in the middle of a forest and started running after me. I kept running and he kept slipping and slipping. I ran faster and I looked back, he was slipping but still running. So while he was slipping, I guess he lo...

What’s orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?

Donald and Kanye

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The little known legend about Attila the Hun

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

Why is it terrifying to get a Mohawk?

Because it's a hair raising experience

(I'll let myself out)

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

"Oops"

John was a police officer known for being brutal and unjust.

He was a malicious man, injuring people for shoplifting and killing robbers. His partner, a blonde officer, never called him out for it, always blinded by her own ignorance. After work one day, he and she heard something in the closet. John moved in to investigate, when a man in a pig mask jumped ou...

What would be a terrifying game show for flat-earthers?

Sphere Factor

Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he’s just depressed.

He’s trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.

The most terrifying horror story... ever

Nester absolutely loves horror stories. From ghost and apparitions, to science-fiction, he enjoys reading all of them. One day while he visits a newly-opened bookstore, he got a glimpse on a rather unusual-looking book. A thin, hard-covered novel with no title.

As he examined the book, the o...

I have a stalker.

A family member who’s moved into our house this year. He follows me into my bedroom and the bathroom. He always sneaks into my bed or under it when I’m half asleep. And worse, he gets so close to me when I’m trying to eat, watching me take every bite. Worse, he has a terrifying habit of licking my t...

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What do call an alligator that's really good with directions?

~~A navigator.~~ Fucking terrifying

Car Keys

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room… it wasn’t there. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is,...

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

Skele tons!
Stay spooky my dudes

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Terrifying Story

A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger said "I didn't ...

Every night I have the same horrible dream about getting attacked by a horse while walking home in the dark

It's one terrifying night mare

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A young airman returns home early from paratrooper school

Dad: "Well son, how was the first plane jump?"

Son: "It was terrifying. I was the last one who was supposed to jump during training and I was so scared I just couldn't do it."

Dad: "Well so what happened?"

Son: "The trainer started chewing me out. He's a huge man in every way an...

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