What is the most terrifying word in Nuclear physics?

Oops!!!!

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I was once photographed out partying whilst drunk, drugged up and looking very much worse for wear. The news media got hold of it and my picture was splashed across the tabloid papers with the headline "The Terrifying Effects of Substance Abuse".

When I first saw it, I went home and had a long hard look at myself in The Mirror.

And then in The Sun, The Daily Star and The Tribune. I thought to myself "Now that's fucking Rock 'n' Roll"

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COVID-19 is like a check engine light, at first you're like, "fuck, this is terrifying"

But after a while you'll be like, "fuck, I need to get to work!"

Why is rabbit farming a terrifying profession?

Every day is a hare-raising experience.

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America: "It's terrifying so many of us are dying to something we can't even see."

The Middle East: "We fucking know"

The drone pilot: “lol"

What's the most terrifying to read in Braille?

"Do not touch."

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A man walked into a sandwich shop...

This shop was the talk of the town. Fresh and new delicious sandwiches made each day.

The man ordered a footlong sub sandwich with all the fillings. He sat down and took a bite.

And spat it out immediately in disgust.

The bread was stale, almost rock hard, and tasted foul. Th...

A tree's first winter must be terrifying.

Imagine the releaf they feel in spring.

What's the only thing more terrifying than Thanos wearing the Infinity Gauntlet?

Thanos wearing the Infinity Gauntlet while playing a Jet in a production of West Side Story

What is something you can find under your son's bed which will terrify you more than your son?

A coconut

The alphabet is terrifying.

A bee sea? No thank you

What’s orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?

Donald and Kanye

To the thief who broke into my costume shop and stole the most terrifying mask I had for sale:

I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror.

Why is it terrifying to get a Mohawk?

Because it's a hair raising experience

(I'll let myself out)

What would be a terrifying game show for flat-earthers?

Sphere Factor

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The little known legend about Attila the Hun

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

The most terrifying horror story... ever

Nester absolutely loves horror stories. From ghost and apparitions, to science-fiction, he enjoys reading all of them. One day while he visits a newly-opened bookstore, he got a glimpse on a rather unusual-looking book. A thin, hard-covered novel with no title.

As he examined the book, the o...

Pluto, king of the Underworld, may be terrifying, but deep down he’s just depressed.

He’s trying to cope with it, but Charon took the kids.

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Terrifying Story

A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamppost and came to a stop inches from a shop window. The startled passenger said "I didn't ...

John was a police officer known for being brutal and unjust.

He was a malicious man, injuring people for shoplifting and killing robbers. His partner, a blonde officer, never called him out for it, always blinded by her own ignorance. After work one day, he and she heard something in the closet. John moved in to investigate, when a man in a pig mask jumped ou...

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

Skele tons!
Stay spooky my dudes

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What do call an alligator that's really good with directions?

~~A navigator.~~ Fucking terrifying

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