Why do submarine talent shows have so much stage fright?

-it's just too much pressure

My friend told me he suffered from stage fright.

I told him he should try imagining his audience naked. He seemed really eager to try that, thanked me and left.

A few minutes later, I realized he ran a puppet show for children.

An ad campaign for pitted peaches (long)

So there’s a farmer and he wants to market his peaches. They are canned peaches and part of the appeal is you don’t have to pit them. They are pitted by other people before they get out in the cans! Easy! So he has this idea to hire a model to photograph in the process of pitting to communicate this...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two soldiers were sitting on the front line in a fox hole

They were both on edge as they knew tonight would be their last night alive. The enemy was swiftly approaching and it was only a matter of time before they were over run.
Soldier 1- “I need to take a shit”
Soldier 2- “dude don’t leave me here”
Soldier 1- “ I cant shit with you here, I get s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

European

Its geography day in Mr. Andrew's first grade class. Each student has to stand up and answer questions in front of their peers. Mr. Andrews, who has a very thick southern accent, addresses the first student.

"Beth, would you a-stand up and answer this a-question: what's the a-capital of a-Ru...

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