A man recently bought himself a new Lada, but a couple of days later he's back at the dealership complaining about the performance.
The salesman who sold him the car asks him about the specifics.
"Come outside," said the man, "and I'll show you what I mean." So they go outside, and the man points to a hill just further down the road. "You see that hill there? Every time I go up there, I can't get past 40."
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
One morning, a man calls his boss to tell him he'll be out sick. The boss presses for specifics, and the man says, "Sir, I have rectal glaucoma." "And what does that mean?" asks the boss.
The man replies, "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today."