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Sneezing Jokes

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A lady on the bus next to me this morning was sneezing, about every 3 minutes...

Each time she sneezed, her eyes rolled back, she gave a moan and shuddered.
Curiosity got the better of me after about 15 minutes, so I asked her if she was alright. She said, "Yes". Then she explained she had a very rare condition, whereby every time she sneezed, she had an orgasm!
I asked if...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sneezing orgasm.

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue,...

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My girlfriend said that a sneeze is 1/10th of an orgasm.

"That's a bullshit myth," I said.

"Prove it," she replied.

After sneezing ten times I said, "See? I'm still awake and you're not pregnant."

Who’s the buff actor who keeps sneezing?

Ah it’s Vin Sniesel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To the ass hole that keeps calling my phone, sneezing, then hanging up.

I am getting sick and tired of your cold calls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other on an aeroplane.

The woman sneezes and right after she is done she shudders and moans.

The man asks,"Are you alright? Because the sneezing seems normal but the shuddering and shivers... Not very much."

The woman replies,"Oh yeah, I have this rare condition where I orgasm every time sneeze."

\-"T...

Sneezing girl

I was in my 4th grade glass sitting next to this girl, all of a sudden she produces a loud sneeze.

**ACHOOOOOO**

The whole class was silent, the teacher quietly asked if she needed a tissue

My friend notices a gooey substance dripping from her hand.

*Friend:* **Ewww are t...

What does a shoemaker say when sneezing?

A shoe!

When did you begin sneezing?

At 2

What’s sneezing on your period like?

Smacking the bottom of an open ketchup bottle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orgasms are similar to sneezing

You need a tissue afterwards and you shouldn't do it in a stranger's face.

My friend choked to death while sneezing.

I guess he bit off more than he could achoo.

I keep sneezing and singing ‘My way’ by Sinatra......

I think I’ve got the crooner virus.

What sound does a sneezing gargoyle make?

Stat-choo!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patient has an orgasm with sneezing

Patient: Doctor I have an orgasm every time I sneeze.

Doctor: WOW! That’s very unusual. What do you take for it?

Patient: Pepper!

What do you call it when a man takes a side glance at a woman on the street while sneezing?

Pikachu

What do you call a fish that can't stop sneezing?

Achoona Fish

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip...

but he doesn't like Indian food.

so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number...

I couldn't stop sneezing after lunch today.

...I ate a sneezer salad.

(Also this is a true story, and I said this to my office :P)

My allergies had me sneezing all day

Feeling blessed

What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut?

"Yes, what is it?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the chef's wife sneezing in bed?

He was trying to spice up his sex life

I can see a woman sneezing on the escalator.

I think she's coming down with something.

I've been coughing and sneezing all day and now I can't stop singing old Frank Sinatra songs.

I think I've got crooner virus.

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