UPJOKE
sniffleairsneezingreflexnoseallergyexhalesnortdustcoughcoldsflunostrilgulpyawn

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To the ass hole that keeps calling my phone, sneezing, then hanging up.

I am getting sick and tired of your cold calls.

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A lady on the bus next to me this morning was sneezing, about every 3 minutes.

Each time she sneezed, her eyes rolled back, she gave a moan and shuddered.
Curiosity got the better of me after about 15 minutes, so I asked her if she was alright. She said, "Yes". Then she explained she had a very rare condition, whereby every time she sneezed, she had an orgasm!
I asked if...

Who’s the buff actor who keeps sneezing?

Ah it’s Vin Sniesel

What do you call sneezing and farting at the same time?

..a screenshot

What do you call it when a man takes a side glance at a woman on the street while sneezing?

Pikachu

What does a shoemaker say when sneezing?

A shoe!

My neighbor Muhammad is always sneezing really loud

I think he might be Sikh.

I keep sneezing and singing ‘My way’ by Sinatra......

I think I’ve got the crooner virus.

What’s sneezing on your period like?

Smacking the bottom of an open ketchup bottle.

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Sneezing orgasm.

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue,...

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A woman was sitting next to a man on a plane who kept sneezing and then shaking violently for several seconds thereafter.

After awhile, she got curious and asked, "are you feeling okay? I've noticed that you shake a lot after each sneeze."

The man said, "yes, I just have a condition where whenever I sneeze I have an intense orgasm."

The woman said, "oh, my! I can see how that could be very inconvenient....

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Strangers were sitting next to each other on airplane, getting ready to take off. While getting situated the woman sneezes, but as she does she also begins to

shudder immediately following the sneeze. The man sitting next to her extends a kind "bless you." She says thanks and they continue waiting until she sneezes again, and again she shudders and moans a little, saying "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you." This throws the man for a loop, saying "sneezin...

Sneezing girl

I was in my 4th grade glass sitting next to this girl, all of a sudden she produces a loud sneeze.

**ACHOOOOOO**

The whole class was silent, the teacher quietly asked if she needed a tissue

My friend notices a gooey substance dripping from her hand.

*Friend:* **Ewww are t...

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Orgasms are similar to sneezing

You need a tissue afterwards and you shouldn't do it in a stranger's face.

When did you begin sneezing?

At 2

My friend choked to death while sneezing.

I guess he bit off more than he could achoo.

I've been coughing and sneezing all day and now I can't stop singing old Frank Sinatra songs.

I think I've got crooner virus.

What sound does a sneezing gargoyle make?

Stat-choo!

What do you call a fish that can't stop sneezing?

Achoona Fish

What would an Asian language that involved sneezing be called?

Chine-sneeze

Which Star Wars character is always sneezing?

Atchoo-bacca.

My sons cheezits joke.

You should name the dog Cheezits! Then if he starts sneezing, you can call him Sneezits!

I laughed and thought his 8 year old genius needed shared with the world.

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Patient has an orgasm with sneezing

Patient: Doctor I have an orgasm every time I sneeze.

Doctor: WOW! That’s very unusual. What do you take for it?

Patient: Pepper!

My allergies had me sneezing all day

Feeling blessed

What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut?

"Yes, what is it?"

I saw a flying pig! He was coughing and sneezing though, so I killed him.

After all, the swine flu!

A man went to see his doctor . . .

"Doctor," he said, "my head's stuffed up, I'm sneezing, I'm coughing, I've got the chills. I think I have a cold. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "First, you should soak in a tub of ice water for about a half hour. Then, you should stand in front of a fan that is going full blast. The...

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I read that sneezing is equal to 1/8 of an orgasm.

So I leave pepper next to my wife’s bed, because she deserves at least something.

I can see a woman sneezing on the escalator.

I think she's coming down with something.

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Why was the chef's wife sneezing in bed?

He was trying to spice up his sex life

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