A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.

The cop rubs his chin an...

So there's a purse snatching on Reddit Blvd.

A police officer arrives on scene, notebook in hand. The purseless woman points to a seemingly knowledgable bystander. "I am fairly distraught," she explains "if it is details you seek that man witnessed everything." The cop asks questions and the bystander prefaces his response "biologist here" ...

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God woke up with a hangover.

He held His temples as one of His angels knocked gently on the door. He grumbled them inward.

"Sorry to disturb You, Sir," the angel said hesitantly. "But I wanted to congratulate you on yesterday's creations. For the most part, they were spectacular!"

"Wha...?" God mumbled. The angel ...

I made a lot of girls wet last year

but I ain't snatching umbrellas anymore.

Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.

A genie appears and grants them one wish each.

The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.

Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower ...

In the 1980s, Gorbachev was adored by the West...

... But very much hated by his own people. All of Russia despised the man who caved in to the West and weakened the mighty Soviet Union. Many wanted to have his head, even his officials and the KGB.

One day at the Red Square, Gorbachev was giving a speech in front of the public. The KGB deci...

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The Cunnilingus Frog.

A woman went into a pet shop and was browsing, looking at the various animals, when she came to a tank with a large frog in it, and the sign 'Cunnilingus Frog'.
She waved to the shopkeeper to come over, and asked him why it was called that.
"I'll show you" he said, and produced a jar containin...

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