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Weightlifting Jokes

Weightlifting really changed my life, i dropped 50 pounds

Straight on my foot, can barely walk now

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Olympic Weightlifting joke

Why would you want to date a weightlifter over a powerlifter?

The weightlifter has a good clean, jerk, and has an incredible snatch!

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

Weightlifting is a tough sport

Others set the bar very high

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I don't get the point of weightlifting competitions

If I wanted to see a bunch of buff guys doing something I'll never be able do I'd just watch porn.

They say weightlifting can lead to disembowelment ..

But I think it really shows guts

LPT: When weightlifting, always have a friend videotape it.

Because the camera always adds 10 pounds.

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My weightlifting trainer told me the key is "If it burns, it grows"

So I lit my cock on fire

Weightlifting forums are the worst when it comes to getting information and advice on protein.

There's always some meathead a-hole that has to whey in.

A prisoner called Andrea wants to prove her strength...

So she starts a weightlifting competition and wins! Turns out the powerhouse of the cell is the might of con 'Drea.

A man walks into a bar

The man picks it up and goes back to the Weightlifting Championship

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A woman goes to see the doctor with complaints of a low sex drive.

She tells the Dr “My husband wants me to get medicine so I’ll want sex as much as he does”, Doc tell her no problem he will give her the same hormone pills the Olympic weightlifting team uses . He confidently explains, “all of them want to have sex multiple times a day”

2 months later the wom...

A 60 year old man named Bill goes to get his physical.

When his doctor is finished, he shakes his head. "Bill, you're a 60 year old man, you have the body of a guy in his 40's. You're in better health than most patients I see. I have to ask - how old was your dad when he died?"

"WHAT?", Bill bellows, "Who says Dad's dead?" The doctor starts t...

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Take that back Olympics

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Olympics that they would like to take back....

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is...

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