Every time I put my key in the ignition, a light comes on that says, "depress clutch to start."

So I lean down and tell the clutch, "Everybody likes brake and accelerater better than you."

You know what really grinds my gears?

Not pushing the clutch in.

My girlfriend was being very suspicious so I followed her, and now I have a huge problem

I need some advice guys. Recently my gf has been receiving too many calls during very odd hours of the night. She has also been coming home very late saying that she was at a team building meeting at work. I called her boss, and he said they've not had any such meeting for the past month. So yesterd...

After 150 days off flooding, Noah released all the animals from his ark and commanded then to go forth and multiply.

After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers, but he came across a pair of snakes who had laid no eggs, and were just laying about.

"Why have you not multiplied?" he asked.

To which the snakes responded, "we can't, we're adders."


Noah being ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Me and Leroy

A old southern,slow-talking' truck driver answers an ad in the paper for an OTR position. He goes into meet with the supervisor. The supervisor knows they need drivers bad, so he cuts off the entire interview and says:

Supervisor: "Look, if you can pass your certification test, the job is you...

Why does the motorcycle get sad when shifting gears?

Because the clutch is depressed

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Speeding Ticket

**Woman**: Is there a problem, Officer?
**Officer**: Ma'am, you were speeding.
**Woman**: Oh, I see.
**Officer**: Can I see your license please?
**Woman**: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
**Officer**: Don't have one?
**Woman**: Lost it 4 times ...

Five numbers walk into a bar...

... A Natural number (6), an Integer (-2), a Rational (1/2), a Real (e) and a Complex number (1-i) walk into a bar.

The first four clutch their heads in pain, but 1-i keeps going.

When -2 asks him how he walked through it, he shrugs and replies

"I'm imaginary".

Why did the leper fail their driving test?

They left their foot on the clutch.

Carl drives a stick

**Andy:** Carl, why was the clutch in my car broken after i lent it to you?

**Carl:** Well don't you look at me, i didn't even touch the thing!

What type of cars do chickens drive?

Hatch-backs with a clutch.

Harvey Weinstein was a driving instructor before becoming a film producer

He was teaching one of his first students, an attractive young girl, how to drive. He said,

‘lift your left leg off the clutch to start moving.’

A few minutes later, he said,

‘lift your right leg off the accelerator to let the car slow down.’

The girl asked him,
...

Why does Lebron James drive automatic?

He has no clutch.

Purse dogs...

I've heard they're pretty clutch.

It's been so hot lately, so I finally got a new AC...

and i nicknamed it DIRK cuz it's so clutch against the heat.

My truck is a lot like Tony Romo.

It will turn over, but the clutch doesn't work.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click herefor more information.