We used to say my Grandad was like Spiderman, not because he was a web-slinging superhero...

But because he struggled to get out of the bath.

My 3 year old's knock knock joke - innocence shattered

3 yr old: Knock Knock Daddy!

Me: Who's there?

3 yr old: (excitedly waving around their fork heaped with spaghetti and slinging sauce everywhere) Fork!

Me: Fork who?

*wife and I lock eyes; we each slowly make "the face" as we realize what is about to come out of our 3 yea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are the drug dealers of the animal kingdom?

Monkeys because they are slinging shit all day

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

Did you hear about the duck and Chinese chef that teamed up to deal drugs?

They were slinging quack wok!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men arguing

There was two men one named bill , the other clarence . they lived on opposite sides of a river . Neither of the men could swim , and each day they would stand on opposite sides of the river cursing at each other . Bill would always say if I could swim I would come over there an kick your butt . Thi...

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