UPJOKE
pinkielittle fingerfingerthumbforearmdactylfingernailnippleforeheadforefingerknucklejawarmpitfingertipbruise

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A Bus Full Of Nuns....

......falls of a cliff and they all die.
They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter.
St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-...

Are you my pinky toe?

Because I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.

A blue-collar worker is in a bar. He holds up his thumb and pinky and says.....

.... five beers for the boys from the sawmill.

Bonus

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General's office. "Since we weren't actually at war," the...

[Old Indian Joke] Rinky :"Wow,you went on a 3 week honeymoon to Milan,Barcelona and Paris. What did you see?"

Pinky :" Ceiling fans"

Girl, imma treat you like I treat my pinky toe

I'm going to bang you on all the furniture all night long

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A man goes to the doctor to ask about options for penis enlargement.

He says, "doc, it's tiny. My pinky finger has more girth. I'm afraid my wife is going to leave me if I don't do something about it."

The doctor replies, "well, if you're really that small, I don't think medication is an option. However, there is an experimental surgery I've been developing, w...

My girlfriend reminds me of my pinky toe

She's small, cute, and will probably end up getting banged on my coffee table tonight

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My Girlfriend was born without her pinky toe and the sight of her foot makes me physically ill.

My therapist says I'm lack toes intolerant.

A young boy passes a brothel on his way home from school when

the lady of the house leans forward and waves her pinky finger at him. "Hi little boy", she laughs.

He asks her, "why do you wave like that?"

She holds up her pinky finger again, "well, that's how little 'it' is".

The next day the boy strolls by and the lady does the same. "...

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I keep my pinky finger up and no elbows on the thighs when I masturbate because...

I'm a genitalman

Why do Yakuza swear a loyalty oath?

Because they can't do pinky promises.

I found five orphaned kittens and decided to foster them. I named them Thumb, Index, Middle, Ring, and Pinky.

They sure are a handful to raise.

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The Thumb King

Once upon a time, there was a Land of Fingers. Everyone who lived in the Land of Fingers was, appropriately enough, a Finger. All the Fingers, from mighty Index to cute little Pinky lived together in peace and harmony. Then one day came Thumb. Thumb was like the Fingers, but different. Shorter, stur...

A chemistry professor was taking the first class for a new batch of students who just joined the college.

So, he made all of them stand infront of a table that had a beaker with some liquid in it.

"Observation is very crucial in Chemistry.. the more you observe, the better you can learn", he said as he dipped his left index finger into the beaker containing the liquid.

After 15 seconds, he...

My friend lost two fingers

He said one was an old lady pinky and the other was a fat man's thumb.

He really has some weird collections.

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Joe goes to the doctor for a checkup. Halstaad M.D. asks just one thing.

Joe goes to the doctor for a checkup. Halstaad M.D. asks just one thing.

Please pee on this cup and come back. Joe's confused by this weird method, but fuck it let's roll.

Joe brings the cup back. Then, Halstaad dips his right pinky into the urine, licks it and pauses.
Then, he...

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A small group of nuns died in a car crash.

They were at the gates of Heaven when an angel said, you may pass, but first answer this question: Have you ever touched a penis. He told them to line up and the first nun said, “There was one time... with my pinky...” The angel said to dip her pinky in holy water then she was able to cross to heave...

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This actually happened to me...

A homeless guy once came up to me while I was in downtown Knoxville. He held his hand up, which had obviously been in a horrible accident a long time ago and was missing a thumb and a pinky. He asked, "Why can't you masturbate with this hand?". Not wanting to offend, I said "I'm not sure, why?". ...

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A family was having dinner when the topic of sex came up.

Teenage son: I know sex feels good for both people but does it feel better for the man or woman?

Mom replies: What feels better, an itchy ear or your pinky finger?

I saw my ex girlfriend walking on the street

Not wanting to talk to her, I pretended to be on the phone. But she walked straight to me and said: ' are you pretending to be on the phone?'
'Excuse me,' I said to my imaginery caller, then turned to her, 'No? Why would you say something like that?'
'well your thumb is at your ear and your pi...

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Japanese Golfer

Was rereading Harry Potter Book 2 and got to the Japanese Golfer joke line. Googled it. Enjoy, r/Jokes.

An American, a German and a Japanese man are golfing one day and, at the 3rd hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts his left thumb to his ear, his left pinky finge...

The CEO of Apple, Huawei and Nokia are all sitting together in a hot tub...

... bragging about their newest groundbreaking technology.

The CEO of Apple starts explaining how his company invented a tiny speaker and a tiny mic which would be surgically attached to your thumb and pinky finger - so you could receive a phone call, only by putting your hand to your ear. ...

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Four business men go golfing.

An American, a Canadian, a German, and a Japanese businessman go golfing. At the first hole the American is about to tee off when his cell phone rings.

"I'm so important at my job that my company requires me to bring a cell phone wherever I go," he says after hanging up. At the next hole th...

A small part of me really enjoys picking my nose...

Can always rely on that trusty pinky finger.

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Tom, John and Peter went for a long-awaited hike together.

After hours spent on hiking up the mountain, they finally reached the summit. Exhausted, they immediately collapsed on the ground, where Tom said,"I've got a surprise for you guys! He immediately took out the most delicious looking food that they ever saw. He then sat a picnic mat down. "This is to ...

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A German guy, an Italian guy, and a Chinese guy are playing golf...

Around the 5th hole, this strange ringing goes off and the German guy starts speaking into his hand. The Italian guy and the Chinese guy are both wondering, "what the f*ck is this guy doing?"

The German guy explains, "It's totally awesome! My government made a phone that fits inside of your h...

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A man walks into a sex doctor's office… (Possibly NSFW)

And the doctor asks what is the man's problem.

"Well doc, before we get started, you need to know that I have a small penis…"

"Sir," interrupted the doctor, "I am a professional. I have seen more penises than you could possibly imagine: big ones, small ones, cut ones, uncut ones, ones ...

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