Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but...

there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.

Johnny learns fast…

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “Please stay out of school for one week.”

Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy 2: “I saw both your bra straps.”
Teacher: “Suspended from school for one month.”

Teacher bent down to pic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

Here's the best one I know. It's a bit long...but I have faith in you ;)

A doctor, a lawyer,and an engineer are sentenced to death. Why is not important to the story...what's important is that the death sentence will be carried out in France - via guillotine.

The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop....

It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps.

As they walk through the ape exhibit and
pass in front of a very large gorilla, the
gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars,
holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting
and pounding his chest with the free hand. He is
obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy
dress....

Why do women parachutists wear jock straps?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

An Irishman, a Scotsman and an Englishman are on a plane.

The engine dies and they know they're screwed.
Looking around the cabin they find only two parachutes.

The Englishman says "I'm the richest so I should get one of them. My money can do the most for the world"

The scotsman says "my families the biggest so I should get one, there'd be...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

A man has a defective clock and takes it to the German workshop.

The guy says, "My clock is busted. Instead of the usual 'tick tock' it goes 'tick tick tick'. Can you fix this?" The German shop owner says, "I see. Follow me." The owner leads the man into a dark ominous room and places the clock on a wooden chair and straps it. He then proceeds to light up a sin...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

......he kisses his wife goodbye. He’s nervous about the new job and not sure if it’s for him.

He’s assigned his bus, and as he walks up to it, he notices that it has a big promotional for Sesame Street on the side. “Great,” he thinks, ...

New Doctor is doing rounds in a psychiatric ward [Long]

He comes across a patient who looks perfectly fine otherwise and starts talking to him casually

Doctor: so what do you want to do in your life ?
Patient: I just want to make myself a slingshot and hunt myself some swallows

Doctor thinks to himself maybe that’s what’s wrong with the ...

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