How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A Buck An Ear

If a woman tells you her nipples are pierced...

...the only logical response is, "I don't believe you.".

Blind man in a motorboat accident.

I once saw a Blind man and asked him how he went blind. He said "I lost my eyes in a motorboating accident. She didn't tell me that they were pierced."

Some chick got her nipple pierced at the bar last night.

I'm not very good at darts.

Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.

he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.

So a pirate wants to get his ears pierced...

He goes to the mall where he finds an ear piercing kiosk and asks the girl how much it would cost. The girl turns and says, "Oh hi! It's a buccaneer!"

I am so unlucky

That I pierced a picture of my mother-in-law with needles and I cured her arthritis with acupuncture.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bono, the lead singer of U2 is known for being self-righteous ...

... He is also an A-list rock and roll celebrity.

​

At a recent concert in Glasgow Scotland, he asked the audience for complete and utter silence.

​

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds. Holding the audienc...

The girl fell down on a bicycle. Why doesn't she cry?

Because the bike handlebar pierced her lung.

Dear Marty

Dear Marty,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget?

I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted th...

A teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They were appalled by his leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," the mother said, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," the daughter replied. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be ...

Heaven

A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not really sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A young punk gets on the cross town bus...

A young punk gets on the cross town bus and sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man.

The young punk has spiked, multi-colored, green, purple, and orange hair. His clothing is a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A husband dies after consuming spaghetti..

Doc: It appears that your husband died from a pierced abdomen.

Wife: How is it possible? All he had was spaghetti.

Doc: After consuming spaghetti, he took some viagra. You know what that does to limp noodles.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Is it too soon to joke about 9/11?

There's an urban legend amongst pilots from that day that goes something like this:

It's 9/11. All aircraft have been grounded and diverted to other airports. As news of the tragedy begins to spread, a somber mood permeates all flight crews as they whisper amongst themselves and discretely on...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

WOMEN eh!

Boob-jobs,

nose-jobs,

teeth bleaching,

tummy tucks,

liposuction,

colonic irrigation,

botox,

pierced ears,

pierced nipples,

pierced bellies,

pierced clits,

eyebrows plucked,

bikini wax,

armpits shaved,

l...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Triplets

While in the later part of her pregnancy with triplets, a mother fears for the life of her children after a man trying to rob a corner store shot her three time in the stomach. After a lengthy surgery, the children had to be taken out but all had been pierced by one bullet each. The doctor was able ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

OK so let's join in. Here goes Georgian joke translated.

A man is on his death bed and his son is with him. Son looks out of the window and says:

-Dad I am sorry to tell you this, but I see Mom is in our next door neighbor Chichiko's house and they seem to be misbehaving.

-Oh that fucking whore - says Dad - And Chichiko, that bastard, how c...