Catapult Jokes

I mean, have you ever *tried* throwing a catapult?

...because I'd been firing people from the catapult factory.

A Kittenpult.

So far the answer is none at all.

An overweight friend.

I said, “This catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

It's a little hard to aim but there's no sense crying over every missed steak.

A physicist is busy before firing a catapult; the physician is busy after.

A woman once built a huge trebuchet designed to catapult women into the air. A man came up asking to take a ride and the woman that built it told him no, this is a lady flinger.

For many years, a small indian village had been mistreated by a great fire breathing dragon. All the villages were too scared to even leave their houses at night, that was except for a young man named Urkake.

Urkake was a fearless fighter who swore to the village that he would slay the drago... read more

Then I realized that's just a catapult.

"Hello John hows your brother Brian?"

"He died Alf"

"Oh that is terrible how did he die?"

"Well he was driving his car and he slammed on the brakes with such force he got catapulted out of the roof through my second floor bedroom window and landed on the bed"

"Oh that... read more

At the last moment, the companion on the front seat pulls the handbrake. The car turns around and stops inches from the wall.

The pale passengers from the backseats start to cheer their savior.

-Ah, no, honestly, you don't need to thank me. I'm not a driver! I'm a fighter-jet pilot, an... read more