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Pads Jokes

What do you call a hooker wearing knee pads.

Prepared.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do tampons think they're better than pads

Because they're stuck up cunts

My niece just showed me a picture of her new girlfriend dressed in hockey gear, pads, mask and all

I said "She looks like a keeper"

Kids today are way too expensive. Now days they want iPads and PlayStations.

They used to just get in the van if you offered them candy.

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend...

...when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries....

I bought some new brake pads imported from Israel

My car can now stop on a dime

Why don’t they have iPads in Russia

Because they only have wePads

Once a half wit homeless man saw a lady buying sanitary pads.

Man: X'cuse me ma'am if you could share some of those bread with me I'll be very grateful.


Lady: Sure. I'll come back tomorrow with the jam on it.

My doctor told me I have an unhealthy obsession with iPads.

So he gave me some tablets.

Are knee pads...

... the perfect gift, for givers?

The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone.

Fortunately, none of them were mine.

Why do hockey players wear so many pads?

Because they have 3 periods every game!

13 blackberries and 5 iPads walk into a bar...

They leave hammered

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Canadian Government is considering forcing all large businesses to provide their employees with tampons and pads free of charge.

Businesses say the costs will be tough to absorb....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You ladies who only use tampons should really give pads a try. I'll even send you a sample for free.

No strings attached

What did the two iPhones say to the two iPads?

"Want to get kinky and have a 4G?"

Why did Steve Jobs' face always look so calm and collected?

Because he used eye-pads before sleep

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

Hockey players take thier pads off after three periods.

A geek dies and goes to heaven.

After spending a few days there, he realizes there are a lot of people he wants to talk to, and a lot of questions he wants to ask them. He walks up to an angel and asks, "So how come we don't have iPads up here? It would be really nice to have an iPad; that way I could jot down a note about somethi...

At the right place at the right time!

An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief. After a search I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.

[OC] What do football (american) players and their cheerleaders have in common?

They all wear pads, but not all the time

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