Joseph

One night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend, when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped, fell over and broke my glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, I didn't even know where he was from, but since he was my roommat...

I bought some new brake pads imported from Israel

My car can now stop on a dime

The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone.

Fortunately, none of them were mine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Canadian Government is considering forcing all large businesses to provide their employees with tampons and pads free of charge.

Businesses say the costs will be tough to absorb....

Once a half wit homeless man saw a lady buying sanitary pads.

Man: X'cuse me ma'am if you could share some of those bread with me I'll be very grateful.


Lady: Sure. I'll come back tomorrow with the jam on it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You ladies who only use tampons should really give pads a try. I'll even send you a sample for free.

No strings attached

Love at Last!

George, age 92 and Edith, age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married.They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter.

"Are you the owner? "The pharmacist answers, "Yes". <...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't tampons talk to maxi-pads?

Because they're stuck-up cunts.

Why can’t girls play hockey?

Because their pads only last one period!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don’t maxi pads socialise with tampons?

They’re stuck up cunts.

Why do hockey players wear so many pads?

Because they have 3 periods every game!

[OC] What do football (american) players and their cheerleaders have in common?

They all wear pads, but not all the time

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed.

The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the esca...

Are knee pads...

... the perfect gift, for givers?

What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?

The hockey player changes his pads after three periods

My friend

So, I had this friend called Joe. So we both lived in this little apartment whilst in uni. I also had a girlfriend at the time as well. Joe was an...interesting guy. Funny, helpful, respectful. But he never told me where he was born or grew up. Anyway, one day im out with my girlfriend at a restaura...

After retiring to a small village in the country, a mathematician soon becomes restless...

One day his wife suggests he pursue his hobby for electronics repair and open a shop. On the first day of business, he places a sign out front that reads “Electronics repair — No Apple products!” His wife inquires: “Why shut out some of your best business? iPhones, iPads, iPods, and iMacs, and some ...

What does a frog wear when playing sports?

Lily Pads

Polish women are like goalies.

They both change their pads every 3 periods.

Why don’t they have iPads in Russia

Because they only have wePads

Son: "Mom! The computer is full of viruses!"

Mom: "Screw the computer! I just won 2 free iPads and a free trip to Paris!"

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